Need some dating insight

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Hey guys,

this is the thread I originally made regarding the wonderful girl I met: https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/114...ationship.html

I guess I jumped the gun too quick and I thought that I was IN a relationship. Well it turns out we are in the process of building a serious relationship.

To summarize the first thread: I took her out, we had a great time..we hugged, held hands...we kissed (im the first guy she ever kissed)...she said that she really likes me and that she never experienced this with somebody (she's a virgin, never had a BF).

On sunday, we went shopping together. I bought her a shirt at American Apparel. She was hesitant at first, but she accepted the gift. On monday, she wore the shirt to school, but here's the problem: we basically ignored each other and didnt speak much.

She looked at me like as if I was a stranger. I have an explanation though: she was surrounded by her little friends in class, so it put pressure on her (I suppose)..and also the fact that she was wearing the shirt, it made her feel kind of obligated to speak to me...

Then in the afternoon, I *think* she saw me in the hallway but decided to ignore me (or she might not have seen me)...

So we ended up not really talking much on monday...then I texted her on monday evening saying: "Hey, so how was your day?"...she replied:"good, how was yours? I have so much stuff to do for school omgggg"

I didnt reply anything. I was pretty pissed last night, but now I thought things through...She needs her space, this is all too new for her. she's kind of nervous about it all...I dont wanna be the type of guy that stays glued to the girl 24/7 and then gets pissed if she doesnt speak to me.

I'm not gonna text her or contact her until she contacts me first. Then I'll be super nice and funny...I will NOT bring up what happened on monday. I'll just forget about it, and she will see that it doesnt have an impact on me.

This upcoming friday, my sister is holding a party. She rented a loft and invited lots of (older) people (she's 26)...I want to invite the girl but I dont know if its too early to be doing things again? We saw each other friday and sunday...I wonder if I should let another week go by?

Also, I was thinking of going to a fancy restaurant with her, but definitely NOT this weekend, its too soon for that. What do you think about the party though? Should I ask her tomorrow or thursday? Or nothing at all?

Thanks.

Oh and may I add that there are lots of other girls interested in me (in school)...how do I let the chick know that other girls want me? i wanna make her a little bit jealous so she has to work in order to get me.

[vulcan Retired ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close vulcan]

Hi Radiohead,

If you know that other girls are interested in you, then she will probably see this for herself - I would resist the temptation to prove this to her.
You could just be relaxed & friendly with girls that you know, this would be enough.
Taking her to an expensive restaurant could be interpreted as being too eager this early into the relationship.

Try to set your level of eagerness/the speed at which (inside at least) you want the relationship to develop - 1 notch down or the same as hers.
Easier said than done!

[vulcan Retired ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close vulcan]

Just realised that you put this in the woman's pesrpective.
I am not a woman - but I stand by my advice.

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Dude youre absolutely right, I need to turn down my eagerness level.

So I wont invite her this weekend (to the party). Thanks.

[vulcan Retired ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close vulcan]

I wouldn't cast off the idea of the party just yet - it could be a good next step. Potentially quite a positive environment with your sister & her friends there.

[RIB2211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RIB2211]

Oh and may I add that there are lots of other girls interested in me (in school)...how do I let the chick know that other girls want me? i wanna make her a little bit jealous so she has to work in order to get me.

There's confidence and then there's cockiness. One is a turn-on, the other is a huge turn-off. Let her figure it out herself about the other girls if this is the case!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

OK Radio, I'm going to throw out some "older" advice from a guy who's been there and done that. Dude, if you want to ask her to a party, just ask her. Throw all of that "is it too soon, what if this, what if that"..........just flippin' ask her. It's apparent you like her and you want to spend time with her, why play these stupid little dating games? I don't know, this is just me but I HATE these damn little dating games. Maybe it's more for your age group, I don't know. Just ask her because you KNOW you want to. Yes, wait on the expensive restaurant and give things time to develop but there's no harm in inviting her to a party.

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

I know, I know..I hate games too.

But I dont want her to think I'm too eager if I inviter her AGAIN to a party. (we went to a party last friday)

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

I know, I know..I hate games too.

But I dont want her to think I'm too eager if I inviter her AGAIN to a party. (we went to a party last friday)

OK, so you went to a party last week, big deal. She has a mind and if she decides not to go, she can voice her opinion and say "thanks but not this time". If you like her (and it's quite apparent you do), just friggin' ask her man. Throw all of these unwritten dating rules out the window. Besides, how else is she going to find out who you are and get to know you if she doesn't hang out with you?

[ErictheGed Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ErictheGed]

Hey radiohead. I've enjoyed reading a lot of ur posts, and u always strike me as the voice of calm. When folk are freakin out over nothin ur always like 'chill dude', 'relax ur fine' etc! Which is all good. So now u gotta take ur own advice brother and chill! Forget the schoolyard games man, most of ur pals probly dont have access to the kind of advice u get on here, from mrbigdick et al. So this ur chance to be looked at in school as a guy thats smart, clued up n got his shit together with the ladies!

Dont sweat whatevers already happened. Dont be too eager but dont sweat wondering if u seemed too eager before or not. Forget the plush restuarant. Just ask her straight out, theres a party on, n shes invited. If shes up for it cool. If not, well u aint gonna waste time worrying about it! She'll probly like that kind of confidence.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I agree with MrBD. Don't play games with her. If you're thinking about her, tell her or text her. She's probably thinking about you too, and obsessing over whether or not she should approach you, is it too soon, yada yada yada. All the same thoughts you're having. The fact that she wore the shirt you bought her means that she likes you -- that's a clear message, she knows you saw it and would recognize it. Don't make things hard on yourself (and her) by playing mind games. Just call her.

About the party? If you want to go, and you think she'd like it, and you want to have her with you -- just invite her! It's not like you scheduled the party to have something to invite her to, it's just an event and you'd like to take her. So tell her.

I look back on my relationships from when I was your age, and I just want to hit myself with a stick and say "JUST TALK TO HIM" -- I cannot believe what a waste it was to play all those games. I know plenty of men feel the same way. Some really, really good things can get away from us because we don't have the courage to just explain to somebody honesty what we want. So you had a rough couple of days of not knowing what to say to her.... so what? Be strong and fix it -- call her and tell her you're feeling awkward but you really enjoyed the weekend and want to take her out again. Trust me, she'll like that even if she's not yet sure what she wants with you. Why? Because you're being brave and honest. And who knows.... maybe she'll say that she feels just the same way that you do.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Hey radiohead. I've enjoyed reading a lot of ur posts, and u always strike me as the voice of calm. When folk are freakin out over nothin ur always like 'chill dude', 'relax ur fine' etc! Which is all good. So now u gotta take ur own advice brother and chill! Forget the schoolyard games man, most of ur pals probly dont have access to the kind of advice u get on here, from mrbigdick et al. So this ur chance to be looked at in school as a guy thats smart, clued up n got his shit together with the ladies!

Dont sweat whatevers already happened. Dont be too eager but dont sweat wondering if u seemed too eager before or not. Forget the plush restuarant. Just ask her straight out, theres a party on, n shes invited. If shes up for it cool. If not, well u aint gonna waste time worrying about it! She'll probly like that kind of confidence.

Dude, I couldn't have said it better myself. Spot on bro! Hey Radio, you payin' attention??

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Fantastic. I love you guys.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Fantastic. I love you guys.

The feeling is mutual ya big lug now go ask her out already.......

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Update: So we spoke this morning for 2 minutes, it was awkward (she was all weird)...then I texted her around 11 am, asking her if she wanted to study at 1pm. She replied at like 12:45 saying that no, she cant make it (and she apologized). So I did my thing, I studied, then I went into the biology lab and I saw her. I completely ignored her and started talking to the teacher. When I was done talking to the teacher, she was like: "Umm hey Marko..." Then I turned around, looked at her, said something related to the science class...but at that moment somebody sent me a txt message so my phone beeped..I turned my back to her, walked to the exit, turned around and said: I'm going to my locker...and I just left...the look on her face was like: .

Whatever. She's getting the cold shoulder from me. If I'm a nice guy, she ditches me...if I ignore her, she talks to me.

I'm gonna have to talk about it with her. Something is definitely wrong. I wonder if my ex emailed one of her friends and said something about me that turned mary off. I wont be inviting her friday at the party, but I will talk about it..so she'll feel like crap that I didnt invite her. She made me feel like shit since monday morning...I dont want those shitty feelings, so now its her turn to feel like crap.

I still have a good feeling about it though, in the long run. It'll work. This song relates to how I feel: YouTube - Seal - Kiss From A Rose (Official Music Video 720p HD) + Lyrics