EX girlfriend showed up out of the blue> really confused

**shypshnius** · 01-13-2018

Hi, so here's what i'm really confused about. I broke up with my ex girlfriend like 2 months ago ( i was dumped for being way too clingy/needy ). The thing is, i still do love her and i actually texted her on new years evening wishing her happy new year. We texted for a bit that evening before she replied with: "please don't text me anymore, i don't want any problems. Just don't show in my life anymore". and removed me from facebooks friends list. I just responded with: "Okay". However, whats really strange she actually messaged me herself in the evening the day after! She texted me: "well, i am coming to visit your town tonight". I just replied with: "that's great, have a good evening!"And that's it.. i didn't want to ask her if she was willing to meet up for a coffee or something just because what she texted me the day before.. So all of this happened like 2 weeks ago. What's interesting, she actually just invited me to friends on facebook at 3am yesterday. I did accept the invite, however she did not text me anything yet. I really don't wanna text her first.. Do you think i should? Or should i just wait for her to break the ice? Thank you!

By the way, the same day she sent me a friend request, she posted this on her facebook wall: Do you think it's towards me and is supposed to mean anything? I have a feeling she wants to get back together but doesn't have the courage to say it.. What are your thoughts?

I have in this story something to confess
I already understood very well what happened
And although it hurts so much I have to accept
That you are not the bad one, that the bad one is me

Okay, I do not really, really wanna fight anymore
I do not really, really want to fake it no more
Play me like The Beatles, baby, just let it be
So come on, put the blame on me, yeah

**Jay1983** · 01-13-2018

Drama drama drama.

Sorry.

**TheZZWoman** · 01-13-2018

To be honest she sounds a bit immature. Here is what I think may be happening...

She tells you your too clingy but secretly loves the attention just wishes it was with some fantasy of a man she has in her mind as the "perfect" guy. You accept graciously her desire to call it off making her suddenly realize that perhaps you didn't desire her as much as she thought you did. Basically, she needs you to need/want her and if you do again she will again complain that you are too clingy. She probably doesn't even realize that she is doing it because she can't admit to herself that she needs you (or your attention) more than you need hers.

My suggestion is to make her sweat it out. Let her come to you (face to face not through some media channel) and tell you that she misses you and accepts you for who you are, clingy and everything. Then you can decide if this is a person you want a relationship with.

When too people are really into each other, there is no such thing as too clingy! Sure there are times when people need their own space but think about it we all want our lovers to want us.

Just my thoughts from minimal information.

**Tara123** · 01-13-2018

Given she ended things with you, she should do all the chasing and hard work.

Do not text her first or even suggest meeting up or getting back together. Other wise you are making yourself something she can throw away but will always be there when bored, lonely etc.

**Pegasus** · 01-13-2018

You can do better.

**MisterBator** · 01-13-2018

Sounds like a rightful pain in the arse. Just play it cool and look into dating other people. If she wants to be with you she'll make the effort. Otherwise focus on yourself and don't play into the drama.

**SnapperLapper** · 01-17-2018

My ex-girlfriend showed up at my house after bedtime after about 6 months of no contact at all. She was surprised to see I was married with a pregnant wife. It didn't bother my wife or me, but it was a little awkward.

**shypshnius** · 01-17-2018

Update: she just messaged me earlier today asking: "What are you doing on friday?". I replied that i don't have any plans for the evening. She have not asked me to meet up directly though. Thoughts?

**shirt** · 01-17-2018

How much respect do you think she will have for you in the long run if you come crawling back?
And worse - how much respect will you have for yourself if you get back together when she finds the next excuse to dump you?

Dont mean to be harsh but take it from someone who's gone down that road...
If you don't treat yourself with respect it will catch up eventually and there will be no one to blame but yourself.

But if you think it might be a good idea to get back together again, take it very slowly...
at least be upfront with her that you are hurt and it will take time to regain lost trust between the two of you.

**Tara123** · 01-17-2018

She's dangling a worm for you to bite and say do you wanna meet up and do something.

Do not follow up your text. Just leave it.

If she waits until Friday to ask you to do something, say sorry I've got plans now. Do not be her back up plan.