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  • Runaway

    I must say it's a bit unconvenient for me to confess this but this is something which repeats often when I meet someone new. And I think I should get to the bottom of it, once and for all.

    The problem is, when I like someone and I notice or she even says that she likes me too - I do everything to break the relationship. In a transferred sense. I mean I usually either run away or be mean make the the connection broken. It's like I hate you but please don't leave me.

    The usual explanation is that I want to protect myself from getting hurt. But I'm not sure on this, there must be more.

    Any ideas, suggestions, experiences?

  • #2
    I would say you like the chase and once gotten, you find excuses to get out.

    Your just not ready for a serious relationship or just not met the right person yet.
    Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Tara123 View Post
      I would say you like the chase and once gotten, you find excuses to get out.

      Your just not ready for a serious relationship or just not met the right person yet.
      I'm indeed aware that the person I chase is a human being who I just can't remove once gotten.

      Do you know the feeling to become devoured by someone else? It feels like that. But since I've this problem with every potential partner it must be me.

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      • #4
        It's easy to lose yourself in a new relationship.its common.

        I take it you're young, in your twenties?
        Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Tara123 View Post
          It's easy to lose yourself in a new relationship.its common.

          I take it you're young, in your twenties?
          A little bit older. Formerly I had no problems in this regard, but I've unlearnt somehow to let myself fall.

          How does it feel for you when you're at something new at the very beginning?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Tara123 View Post
            It's easy to lose yourself in a new relationship.
            Or can you describe this "lose yourself in a new relationship" further in your experience?

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            • #7
              Maybe you like the role of spectator vs player? Maybe you have insecurities that cause you to hit the emergency stop button?

              Do you feel regret afterwards? Like, maybe I should have been nicer to see what might had actually happened?
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              • #8
                Do I have insecurities? Yes, many.

                And yes, I feel regret afterwards but I realise it sometimes only when it's too late. But it's true I imagine what could have been happened an it annoys me realising that she had actual interest but I've prevented it getting closer due to my own words or actions.

                It's also this "getting lost / overwhelmed" thing I don't understand fully. Maybe both topics are also somehow in interaction.

                What do you mean by the role of the spectator vs player?
                User4286
                Senior Member
                Last edited by User4286; 04-21-2018, 04:53 AM.

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                • #9
                  At the start of new relationship it's like the moon and sun circles them. You just want to be with them all the time and when your not, your thinking about it. Everything you do is to please them and you feel like it was destiny that you met.

                  In 1979, Dorothy Tennov coined the term “limerence” for the first*stage of love, characterized by physical symptoms (flushing, trembling, palpitations), excitement, intrusive thinking, obsession, fantasy, sexual excitement, and the fear of rejection.

                  That's what falling some one is. It's intense but sadly doesn't last.
                  Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Tara123 View Post
                    At the start of new relationship it's like the moon and sun circles them. You just want to be with them all the time and when your not, your thinking about it. Everything you do is to please them and you feel like it was destiny that you met.

                    In 1979, Dorothy Tennov coined the term “limerence” for the first*stage of love, characterized by physical symptoms (flushing, trembling, palpitations), excitement, intrusive thinking, obsession, fantasy, sexual excitement, and the fear of rejection.

                    That's what falling some one is. It's intense but sadly doesn't last.
                    That's interesting, I've read about limerence and it seems like a prolonged infatuation that blends attraction with attachment. It's also not exclusively sexual, so you could feel limerence toward a good friend.
                    EL: 5 3/4", EG: 4 7/8" | 2020

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