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Hey Guys (and Girls), Need some help in the "dating" department.

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  • Hey Guys (and Girls), Need some help in the "dating" department.

    Hey Guys,

    A few quick things about me.
    - 40 yrs old
    - renting a house from/living with a friend after my divorce
    - The woman I was married to was my only relationship (serious or casual) and the only woman I had sex with. I didn't meet her until I was about 30 yrs old.

    In general, I'm a pretty shy person, but I do tend to be more outgoing and inquisitive if I'm doing something I enjoy. Obviously, I don't have a lot of experience with the opposite sex, and that's why I'm creating this thread.
    I took a break from dating, but I'm trying to get back into and I really want some advice to help me be more successful.

    Currently, I'm on OKC and Eharmony, but not really getting a lot of responses on either. In the past year, I've been on 3-4 dates with women. Most of them I wasn't super interested in or attracted to and they didn't lead to second dates. One did ask me out on a second date, but she had lots of 'challenges' in her life that I wasn't ready to deal with and also, frankly, just wasn't super attracted to her (didn't feel a lot of chemistry)

    Definitely willing to fill in any details if you guys have questions. But I'm generally looking for 2 pieces of advice.

    1. Where are some good places to meet women when you're in your 30's and 40's?
    I've gone to a few Meetups (i.e. Meetup.com) in the past, but sometimes I feel awkward trying to ask a girl for her number while at a meetup.

    2. Would anyone be willing to critique/give me suggestions on my dating profile/pictures. If so, I'll post them here.

  • #2
    I would give you my opinion on your profile.

    And you can literally meet women everywhere, the gym, supermarket, thru friends and parties. To see one you find attractive and say hello or ask the time etc
    Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

    Comment


    • #3
      Ok I got on the dating thing again in my 40's bald and a single parent .

      So i figured i would talk to women in the gym maybe do some classes that a lot of women do so i could talk to them before and after. So yoga and the like .
      I started learning to dance . Lots of women there and they also seem interested .
      In general through life i have found friends a disapointing source of dates .
      I got on rsvp . Now if you sit back and wait you will get no dates . So here is what i did . If you are in a major metro area there are 1000's of profiles so eliminate any too far away or that have not been on for awhile ,you may want to eliminate smokers or whatever . Anyway that leaves hundreds . So take a look at them send out 10 kisses these are just experessions of interest cost nothing . Out of them you might get 2 or 3 kisses back so contact those ladies and start doing some contact via computer. So at this point you want to know if you are interested and if so move forward to phone convo . Now these might lead nowhere so while this is happening send out another 10 kisses .
      Ok so now you have 1 or 2 on the phone and 2 or 3 on the computer . At is at this point you start to get real dates . Now of course these often lead to little except some stray sex . So of course you can keep sending out kisses .
      The point is to generate through Rsvp and through real life enough dates with people who may be compatible to find a long term partner . There is some work in it .
      On the profile thing to tell the truth i think i was woefull at it and others can advise .

      Comment


      • #4
        The "older" single guys I know take classes. One guy told me the best was a Bar Tending Course. It was in the evenings, loose and fun and lots of older bored women.

        Other guys went to graduate school. None that I know of actually finished. They hooked up with classmates and moved on.
        03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
        Thread
        12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks, dude!
          @Pegasus and @Tara123
          I guess I should try some classes like cooking or dancing. Yoga wouldn't hurt either. I guess my biggest mental obsticale is that awkward feeling of trying to talk to women who are busy doing their workout, shopping, etc.

          So, RSVP is a dating site, but I'm already on 2 of them and not getting much attention. Is it different/better somehow? I would love to get 2-3 responses for every 10 that I send. Perhaps I haven't sent enough recently, but I know my ratio is typically much lower than that.

          @incogneetoe Define "older men" and "Older women". Are we talking women in their 30's? 40's? 50's??

          @Tara123. I sent my pics/profile. Let me know what you think

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
            Ok I got on the dating thing again in my 40's bald and a single parent .

            So i figured i would talk to women in the gym maybe do some classes that a lot of women do so i could talk to them before and after. So yoga and the like .
            I started learning to dance . Lots of women there and they also seem interested .
            In general through life i have found friends a disapointing source of dates .
            I got on rsvp . Now if you sit back and wait you will get no dates . So here is what i did . If you are in a major metro area there are 1000's of profiles so eliminate any too far away or that have not been on for awhile ,you may want to eliminate smokers or whatever . Anyway that leaves hundreds . So take a look at them send out 10 kisses these are just experessions of interest cost nothing . Out of them you might get 2 or 3 kisses back so contact those ladies and start doing some contact via computer. So at this point you want to know if you are interested and if so move forward to phone convo . Now these might lead nowhere so while this is happening send out another 10 kisses .
            Ok so now you have 1 or 2 on the phone and 2 or 3 on the computer . At is at this point you start to get real dates . Now of course these often lead to little except some stray sex . So of course you can keep sending out kisses .
            The point is to generate through Rsvp and through real life enough dates with people who may be compatible to find a long term partner . There is some work in it .
            On the profile thing to tell the truth i think i was woefull at it and others can advise .
            Excuse the personal question, did you start PE after your divorce?
            Starting Stats: BPEL:6.4" MEG: 4.5" (18/02/2018)
            Current: BPEL:7.0" MEG 4.6" (25/08/2018)
            Goal: BPEL 7.5"+ MEG: 5"+
            Check out my progress log: https://www.pegym.com/forums/progres...-my-stick.html

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Jukeboxhero View Post
              Thanks, dude!
              @Pegasus and @Tara123
              I guess I should try some classes like cooking or dancing. Yoga wouldn't hurt either. I guess my biggest mental obsticale is that awkward feeling of trying to talk to women who are busy doing their workout, shopping, etc.

              So, RSVP is a dating site, but I'm already on 2 of them and not getting much attention. Is it different/better somehow? I would love to get 2-3 responses for every 10 that I send. Perhaps I haven't sent enough recently, but I know my ratio is typically much lower than that.

              @incogneetoe Define "older men" and "Older women". Are we talking women in their 30's? 40's? 50's??

              @Tara123. I sent my pics/profile. Let me know what you think
              When you send kisses you should be looking for women that not only are you interested in but who may be interested in you .
              A quick peruse of their profile left me discarding many . So if you put in some basic parameters like i said the computer will dicard a lot who are unsuitable before you begin . From there you look at the profile and even though you are not studing them in detail you should still be puting some aside .
              Ok so lets do this again . You start with thousands . Put in parameters it becomes hundreds . You look at 20 or 30 choose 10 send kisses . You should get 2 or 3 kisses back , these are not dates and there is further work to do to make them dates . So while that is going on look at another 20 or 30 profiles that the computer has picked send 10 more kisses . You should get 2 or 3 lisses back . Look for every 10 kisses you might only get 1 actual date .
              I actually wanted to date 1 girl at a time but found due to the way it worked that i got no dates at the start then all of a sudden i was dating multi women, others on the phone i hadn't got around to and more on the computer .
              When i decided i liked my current wife i had to contact all the others and say sorry.

              Look frankly it looks like you could work it a bit harder.

              Likewise with the gym etc . Talk to a lot of people most are partnered but at least you are out there.

              Comment


              • #8
                Cool! Thanks for being here Jukeboxhero!

                You can meet women literally anywhere, but you have to push yourself through that mental obstacle of feeling awkward. Do things and go places that you genuinely enjoy, or are curious about. As Pega mentioned, yoga and dance classes are great. I've also heard self defense classes and jiu-jitsu are popular with women. You have this awesome opportunity...to build an epic post-divorce lifestyle of your choosing.

                But most importantly, get past that obstacle!! You have absolutely every right to ask a woman for her phone number. You are not bothering her by asking and will not get beat up by an angry mob. It takes practice to become comfortable with this, so keep putting yourself out there.

                I also agree with my winged stallion friend about online dating being a numbers game. If you play your cards right you can actually have too many women and not enough time to manage them. If you're comfortable showing your profile and pictures here, we'd be happy to give you some feedback.
                EL: 5 3/4", EG: 4 7/8" | 2020

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Dance Sucka View Post
                  Cool! Thanks for being here Jukeboxhero!

                  You can meet women literally anywhere, but you have to push yourself through that mental obstacle of feeling awkward. Do things and go places that you genuinely enjoy, or are curious about. As Pega mentioned, yoga and dance classes are great. I've also heard self defense classes and jiu-jitsu are popular with women. You have this awesome opportunity...to build an epic post-divorce lifestyle of your choosing.

                  But most importantly, get past that obstacle!! You have absolutely every right to ask a woman for her phone number. You are not bothering her by asking and will not get beat up by an angry mob. It takes practice to become comfortable with this, so keep putting yourself out there.

                  I also agree with my winged stallion friend about online dating being a numbers game. If you play your cards right you can actually have too many women and not enough time to manage them. If you're comfortable showing your profile and pictures here, we'd be happy to give you some feedback.
                  In retrospecti had a poor profile up and it still worked .
                  . Here is a funny thing when i first put my profile up i didn't have a picture on it .
                  I started by sending one kiss at a time the few replies i got said a photo would be good, but i never got around to it . I started sending 10 at a time and got enough replies anyway .
                  Anyhow later in the piece i went out into the garden took a snap and posted it . Lol i got less replies .
                  Now as to why well i am not a film star but was reasnable looking for a forty something bald guy and i stated in the profile i was bald . So what was the issue ? People don't put accurate day to day photos on date sites !!! They are generally from years ago that time they lost 20kg . RSVP actually sells a service where a pro will come and take a photo designed for your profile includes pro lighting, full hair and makeup (yes makeup for guys too). You can bet it will look nothing like the person actually does day to day.
                  I also put my real age ,height etc you will find many don't . The girls seem surprised i was actually as advertised .
                  Pegasus
                  Administrator
                  PE Gym Editor
                  PEGym Hero
                  Admin of the Month Mar 2015
                  Last edited by Pegasus; 07-08-2018, 08:50 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
                    In retrospecti had a poor profile up and it still worked .
                    . Here is a funny thing when i first put my profile up i didn't have a picture on it .
                    I started by sending one kiss at a time the few replies i got said a photo would be good, but i never got around to it . I started sending 10 at a time and got enough replies anyway .
                    Anyhow later in the piece i went out into the garden took a snap and posted it . Lol i got less replies .
                    Now as to why well i am not a film star but was reasnable looking for a forty something bald guy and i stated in the profile i was bald . So what was the issue ? People don't put accurate day to day photos on date sites !!! They are generally from years ago that time they lost 20kg . RSVP actually sells a service where a pro will come and take a photo designed for your profile includes pro lighting, full hair and makeup (yes makeup for guys too). You can bet it will look nothing like the person actually does day to day.
                    I also put my real age ,height etc you will find many don't . The girls seem surprised i was actually as advertised .
                    Yep, too true! I have some old photos (1-2+ years) myself. That's great they offer a photography service. Getting dates can be perhaps 80% presentation, 20% effort. It's basically self-advertising plus communication.
                    EL: 5 3/4", EG: 4 7/8" | 2020

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Jukeboxhero View Post

                      @incogneetoe Define "older men" and "Older women". Are we talking women in their 30's? 40's? 50's??
                      I mean folks in their 40s. At least the guys. In the Bar Tending class they were meeting women in their 30s and 40s. The guys who used graduate school were dating girls in late 20s early 30s.
                      03/2015 Start <Able to last ~ 2 mins PIV>
                      Thread
                      12/2019 EL: +2.2 MEG: +1 <Able to last 60+ mins PIV>

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Tara123 View Post
                        I would give you my opinion on your profile.

                        And you can literally meet women everywhere, the gym, supermarket, thru friends and parties. To see one you find attractive and say hello or ask the time etc
                        True..I attract beautiful women everywhere...just have the guts to go after what you want

                        That needs courage and confidence that women smell from long distance..

                        Hello and what the time- this is the best you have Tara! Really!
                        Length 7.7" Girth 6.4"
                        Goal L 8.3" G 6.8"

                        Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          @OP

                          Dating through websites will not bring you good or at least quick results. For me, it's mostly waste of time. Nothing better than real life practice that you can start during going to parks, gym, supermarkets, malls, streets...anywhere you find an attractive woman you feel she's your type..you speak to..ofcourse dating tips is long way to go..cant lecture here or elsewhere..maybe can help or advice if you provide some details about meeting with a woman or coming date..

                          Most importantly to show courage, confidence, be fit, energetic, do not take it seriously, show that they will be pleased to know you and maybe be part of your life, do not be afraid of many rejections.

                          Recently, a friend came from the states to visit me, after few days of hanging out together and seeing with his own eyes and hearing with his own ears how I treat women, talk, listen to, look at, make them feel happy, smile, laugh, taking phone numbers anywhere we go to.....

                          He asked me: How are you so good with women?

                          I said: After many errors, failures, and rejections.

                          So, got out...after what you like...but be careful to enjoy life..not focusing on meeting women and it will happen spontaneously...approach...if failed..learn from it for next time..if succeeded..remember whatyou said and did...your body language..etc Read some dating books...keep on learning
                          Length 7.7" Girth 6.4"
                          Goal L 8.3" G 6.8"

                          Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            By presentation i presume you mean being full of BS like phots that don't represent what you actually look like ?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Other than you might be an amazing person but on photos you dont look good, also many woman photoshop or fake their photos so you get shocked in person..Still the dating online idea not bad but lot of time wasting, until some woman like your photos, then text you or you initiate, then until she replies playing hard to get before giving her number... So again waste of time..
                              Length 7.7" Girth 6.4"
                              Goal L 8.3" G 6.8"

                              Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature.

                              Comment

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