Previous relationship STD and new partners

[apjelq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close apjelq]

Hi all

So I had a semi long relationship with a woman who has a genital herpers. For those who don't know about this STD it usually transmits when its active, but can also (but rarely) transmit when its not active and during our time she never had it active. Her type of herpes was HSV-1 which usually causes oral herpes (so kinda the better one). Also it transmits worse from women to men than men to woman. We always wore a condom, but I would be lying if I said that our private parts never touched during the foreplay. It has been over a year since our first time and about 2 months since the last time and I have never had any of the symptoms. So basically if I have it I don't get any of the symptoms therefore its passive. And those who don't know this STD can be either passive or active and also there is no way to test it unless its active and you get blisters.

My question basically is am I obligated to tell all my future partners (casual and serious) that I have had a partner who had this STD? Even if we plan to use a condom anyways. Or can I just say that "I'm clean, but I could have something that doesn't show up in the tests"?

Opinions?

[Ultimate Burrito Moderator Member of the Month Oct 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Ultimate Burrito]

What would you want your future partners to do if the tables were turned?

[apjelq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close apjelq]

What would you want your future partners to do if the tables were turned?

To be completely honest. If its casual with a condom I don't need her previous partners medical history only if she has something it should be mentioned and if its getting serious and we plan on leaving the condom I think I would be okay with just "I'm clean, but I could have something that doesn't show up in the tests", because I know a lot of people carry this STD and they don't know it. Sex with a new partner is always a risk. But then again I many may disagree with me.

[Ultimate Burrito Moderator Member of the Month Oct 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Ultimate Burrito]

IMO, there are always "assumed risks" when engaging in sexual activities recreationally. If you know for sure, you got something, that's one thing. If it came up in conversation with another partner it would e good to be honest. You can tell them what you told us and let them decide. After a longer period of time, if there is still no indication of transmission, I would drop it and state your clean.

[apjelq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close apjelq]

IMO, there are always "assumed risks" when engaging in sexual activities recreationally. If you know for sure, you got something, that's one thing. If it came up in conversation with another partner it would e good to be honest. You can tell them what you told us and let them decide. After a longer period of time, if there is still no indication of transmission, I would drop it and state your clean.

Yeah maybe I just need to be honest and have that long conversation everytime then. At least then they cannot accuse me of anything if they get something. Then again it just seem such a waste of time and mood if we use a condom anyways.

[Ultimate Burrito Moderator Member of the Month Oct 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Ultimate Burrito]

You said you used condoms... just saying.

[apjelq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close apjelq]

You said you used condoms... just saying.

We did use condoms. What do you mean ?

[Ultimate Burrito Moderator Member of the Month Oct 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Ultimate Burrito]

You say future partners shouldn't worry as much since you will be using condoms but you used condoms with this lady and are concerned. What's the rationality in your thinking? Just seeking to understand. I know the foreplay with current partner is one factor.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

You say future partners shouldn't worry as much since you will be using condoms but you used condoms with this lady and are concerned. What's the rationality in your thinking? Just seeking to understand. I know the foreplay with current partner is one factor.

It because condoms doesn't protect you against herpes. Its in the groin tissue.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I would say always tell them as it feels the right thing to do. But then I read that it could be up 70% of the population with the herpes virus either live or dorment so could be pointless.

There's no way of knowing if you have the kind to pass on.

[apjelq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close apjelq]

I would say always tell them as it feels the right thing to do. But then I read that it could be up 70% of the population with the herpes virus either live or dorment so could be pointless.

There's no way of knowing if you have the kind to pass on.

Exactly. Most of us have it, but it just needs activation. That's the thing. No one ever mentions to a new partner that they could have a herpes, because they have had unprotected sex unless they have some symptoms so It seems a bit pointless for me to tell my future partners that I could have something which I probably don't even have.

[Ultimate Burrito Moderator Member of the Month Oct 2017PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Ultimate Burrito]

It because condoms doesn't protect you against herpes. Its in the groin tissue.

Ah, learn something new everyday!

[apjelq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close apjelq]

Seriously isn't it just better if we have the talk to just say that "I could have something that doesn't show up in the tests or can be tested just like you may have". Then if she gets a herpes OR something else at least I have spoken the truth since I don't officially have it.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

Seriously isn't it just better if we have the talk to just say that "I could have something that doesn't show up in the tests or can be tested just like you may have". Then if she gets a herpes OR something else at least I have spoken the truth since I don't officially have it.

So AP have you been tested yet, sorry but then you say you have it or was that just a think you have all because of her non active link?

NOWHARD

[apjelq Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close apjelq]

So AP have you been tested yet, sorry but then you say you have it or was that just a think you have all because of her non active link?

NOWHARD

It cannot be tested threw blood or pee. Only if you get blisters which I haven't gotten or any of the other symptoms. Sorry, but I didn't understand the last part you said.