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  • My wife is giving me a silent treatment.

    Since my wife got back after her vacation from a foreign place, she’s giving me a silent treatment. I don’t know what did I do on her to treat me this way. I have tried everything I could to gain her sweetness back but those didn’t work at all. I tried cooking her favorite food. I did the chores, as always, so she won’t have to worry about it when she gets home. I also sent her flowers at home and her workplace. Everything wasn’t working and I don’t how what to do anymore.

  • #2
    Thanks for posting.

    You are going to need to talk to her. You are not a mind reader. Get whatever is on her mind out in the open.
    How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! ~ Song of Solomon 4:10

    For things to change, you have to change.” - Jim Rohn, The Art of Exceptional Living

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    • #3
      Ask her if she is still your TrueLove, answers in writing would suffice.
      Valued Member of 11 years at the TheBiohacker
      Looks are deceiving, mirrors don't lie.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by immanageable1979 View Post
        Since my wife got back after her vacation from a foreign place, she’s giving me a silent treatment.
        Your wife had sex with someone else while on vacation.
        Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline Kael

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Ujjayi View Post
          Thanks for posting.

          You are going to need to talk to her. You are not a mind reader. Get whatever is on her mind out in the open.
          Hi. Of course, I will. But she won't talk to me just yet. Probably, soon.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by TheGreatDivider View Post
            Your wife had sex with someone else while on vacation.
            Do you think so?

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Dangler View Post
              Ask her if she is still your TrueLove, answers in writing would suffice.
              I will when she talks to me again.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by immanageable1979 View Post
                I will when she talks to me again.
                Why wait? Deal with this now or you are only feeding the smothering fire.
                How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! ~ Song of Solomon 4:10

                For things to change, you have to change.” - Jim Rohn, The Art of Exceptional Living

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by immanageable1979 View Post
                  Do you think so?
                  Yes. I've seen this kind of thing happen before where the wife goes on a vacation or a work trip alone and comes back acting depressed. It's because she bought too many over priced souvenirs or that sh
                  misses the resort, she did something she wasn't supposed to with someone else. She's not giving you the silent treatment to punish you she's doing it because she feels guilty. And you doing nice things for her is just driving that emotion deeper.
                  Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline Kael

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                  • #10
                    Agree with Great Divider above. Experienced something similar years ago with my SO. She came back all wierd. Silent treatment, very cold.

                    Turns outs she ran into an old crush when she went to visit back home. Guy was trying to make his wife jealous by trying to bed mine. Mine was all kinds of messed uo bc if the guilt.
                    I came here for the EQ, but I stayed for PE

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                    • #11
                      Of course, as a man you should wait there for her to talk to you... Lack of communication is the #1 reason why so many relationships get screwed #2 is screwing other people. Ask her why is she behaving that way and that you need to know. If she gives you a valid reason then case is closed. If not ask her if anything happened during the time she was away. Not only sexually. Maybe she just had more fun away from you and she felt more free, it doesn't necessarily mean she fucked another cock.
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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by donkeehote View Post
                        Agree with Great Divider above. Experienced something similar years ago with my SO. She came back all wierd. Silent treatment, very cold.

                        Turns outs she ran into an old crush when she went to visit back home. Guy was trying to make his wife jealous by trying to bed mine. Mine was all kinds of messed uo bc if the guilt.
                        Ran into? You mean talked to on Facebook.

                        It's not the other guys fault, your wife wanted to cheat with him as much as he did.
                        Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline Kael

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Sticke View Post
                          Of course, as a man you should wait there for her to talk to you... Lack of communication is the #1 reason why so many relationships get screwed #2 is screwing other people. Ask her why is she behaving that way and that you need to know. If she gives you a valid reason then case is closed. If not ask her if anything happened during the time she was away. Not only sexually. Maybe she just had more fun away from you and she felt more free, it doesn't necessarily mean she fucked another cock.
                          Broken relationships don't cheat, broken people do. Communication won't fix anything at this point he's not going to be talking rationally to a rational person. He's going to be getting denial, anger, projected blame, and excuses from an overly emotional person while he's in a sensitive state. The only thing communicating about this issue is going to do is drive a wedge between them because she's going to do anything to keep from confessing to a fuck up on her part. All of that will come out later just not right now while she's giving him th silent treatment.

                          What he needs to do right now is leave his wife alone, stop trying to nice his way back into her good graces, stop seeking validation and support, and get the fuck up out th house. The way he's going he's going to drive her away and see to it that she divorces him because she's "unhappy." He needs to find something he can do away from her for at least a week, maybe two, until she's ready to talk to him. He n eds to find something that makes him happy without her, and quickly get to the point where he's dressing and acting like he doesn't care that she fucked another man on vacation because he knows other women will want him. That's when she will come around and do whatever it takes to fight for him.

                          I'm not saying he needs to cheat on his wife. Far from it in fact. He could join a gym, start going to a therapist, take walks at night, or go buy a Nintendo switch and play that in his car after work. Anything where he can leave before he says something he will regret (because he's speaking from an emotional state) will help. The goal here is give each other some breathing room and allow him to return to his rational state of mind so he can talk to her without believing any of her bullshit and lies or freaking out on her.

                          And it doesn't take that long to get to this stage, usually about couple weeks or less of depression, anger, and resentment is all it takes before you stop blaming yourself for their actions. I'm speaking from experience of course, but it's not OP's fault if she cheated, it was hers. Once he gets back into his right state of mind he will see that she fucked up and if she leaves him then good riddance because any woman would be happy to have him.
                          Sex is the great leveler, taste the great divider. - Pauline Kael

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by immanageable1979 View Post
                            Since my wife got back after her vacation from a foreign place, she’s giving me a silent treatment. I don’t know what did I do on her to treat me this way. I have tried everything I could to gain her sweetness back but those didn’t work at all. I tried cooking her favorite food. I did the chores, as always, so she won’t have to worry about it when she gets home. I also sent her flowers at home and her workplace. Everything wasn’t working and I don’t how what to do anymore.
                            As a woman, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she slept with someone else.

                            In fact, I would think the contrary -- that she may think you did something while she was away.

                            In fact, you being extra nice to her might worry her even more.

                            It's kind of a known pattern -- man cheats on wife and feels guilty and then goes overboard with showering his wife with affection to assuage his guilt.

                            Of course, I'm not a mind reader either (nor are you), so it could be something completely different. But that's where my money would be.

                            So, what to do?

                            Talk to her.

                            I know you say she won't talk to you yet - or that you will, when she talks to you - but, don't wait. Waiting is only going to let her stew on whatever it is that's bothering her.

                            Sit her down and start off with, "I love you. Obviously something's bothering you. We need to talk about it, because we can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong."

                            Don't give up. If you don't get her to talk about it, it's just going to fester and get worse.
                            Kimberly
                            PEGym.com

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by KMWylie View Post

                              Talk to her.
                              From a mans perspective, why should he bother if she does that to him.. He did nothing wrong at all. If he gives in to such childish behavior she will do disrespectful stuff like that even more often.

                              He already comforted her by doing chores and cooking etc.

                              He should not "only" talk to her, he should call her out for her inappropriate childish behavior. Everything else would be would be putting her on a pedestal. If she is not willing to talk to him then, she has to accept his consequences. Easy as that.

                              If he wants to stretch it out, Dividers solution sounds okay allthough i don't like the idea of being driven out of (probably) his own house.
                              ZeNigmar
                              Senior Member
                              Last edited by ZeNigmar; 09-13-2018, 03:13 PM.
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