Performance anxiety

[LilBig Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LilBig]

Hey guys ! What would you advise in regards to performance anxiety with a new girl ? I met this really gorgeous looking woman, but when going down on things i'm unable to perform quite well do to that. Any advice ? Thank you!

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

If she is willing, practice makes perfect

[Nightforce Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Nightforce]

+1

I'd also, in a positive way, let her know you find her extremely attractive and might have some performance issues. I think good communication always helps.

[JohnClark Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnClark]

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A measure of empathy and positive help would have been more appropriate.
Dangler
Sr Admin.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Just move on. She's going to monkey jump to someone else. They always do right up to the point where they hit "The wall". In the mean time give up sex. It's not worth the effort, be prepared to give it up permanently when you reach your 40's on out. Their hormones and associated weight gain are not worth it.

No offense, but really crappy advise. Obviously, you hold some grudge against women that you can't see beyond.

Performance anxiety is a natural thing that you need to accept first and then try to correct. Look at your porn habits, are they excessive, if so, that may be a factor. If naturally hyper, try relaxing yourself by breathing deeply. If passionate, lots of deep kissing does the trick - help focus your mind on the task at hand. I also, when kissing, try to time my inhales to coincide with her exhales. You breathe in less oxygen and it calms you down - kind of like breathing into a paper bag if you have the hiccups, you get less oxygen and it relaxes you.

And, let her know of your concerns. Tell her that she so excites you that you are frightful of disappointing and therefore have issues with performance. Give the message to her as a compliment and she won't feel self conscious.

Check back and let us know of success. Best to you my friend.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Be helpful in posting-
https://www.pegym.com/forums/introdu...ml#post1547754

[JohnClark Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnClark]

No offense, but really crappy advise. Obviously, you hold some grudge against women that you can't see beyond.

Performance anxiety is a natural thing that you need to accept first and then try to correct. Look at your porn habits, are they excessive, if so, that may be a factor. If naturally hyper, try relaxing yourself by breathing deeply. If passionate, lots of deep kissing does the trick - help focus your mind on the task at hand. I also, when kissing, try to time my inhales to coincide with her exhales. You breathe in less oxygen and it calms you down - kind of like breathing into a paper bag if you have the hiccups, you get less oxygen and it relaxes you.

And, let her know of your concerns. Tell her that she so excites you that you are frightful of disappointing and therefore have issues with performance. Give the message to her as a compliment and she won't feel self conscious.

Check back and let us know of success. Best to you my friend.

Perhaps, but if one doesn't give a damn then there's no pressure. The OP has got to learn how the vast majority of women either consciously or subconsciously act.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Perhaps, but if one doesn't give a damn then there's no pressure. The OP has got to learn how the vast majority of women either consciously or subconsciously act.

I think if one were to try and learn just how the vast majority of women act, one would find the results to look fairly random.

[Sticke Senior Member Member of the Month March 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close Sticke]

Try to perform for her sexually in ways other than your penis first. This alleviates the pressure. Also the more you get to know her the less anxious you become.

[JohnClark Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnClark]

I think if one were to try and learn just how the vast majority of women act, one would find the results to look fairly random.

Ya, but hypergamy is consistent.

[bigplayre Senior Member Member of the Month June 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close bigplayre]

Ya, but hypergamy is consistent.

Bro you sound like you have a special hatred for women. Chill out, this thread isn't the place for negativity or women bashing. The man just wanted some advice for performance anxiety. Also, for me I typically notice when I control my breathing and stay more present it maximizes my performance. If you're too caught up in the moment with how attractive she is and how amazing it is you'll finish much quicker. Stay in the moment, breathe, stay present.

[incogneeetoe Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2017*Special Appreciated Moderator Nov. 2021* PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close incogneeetoe]

Ya, but hypergamy is consistent.

Yeah, but I suppose it depends on the definition of hypergamy:

If you mean the true definition, "the action of marrying a person of a superior caste or class", you'd probably find it is categorically not "consistent". Essentially not possible. If woman were always marrying into a higher class, then they would pretty much use up the system in one generation.

If you mean by hypergamy "woman’s tendency to marry the best possible man that she can find", well, duh. Who actively seeks out to marry a person that is not the best? We all seek out our "best" mate. Men, women, trans, bi, etc.

This is not a problem. The problem is when we use it as an excuse to take an androcentric or mysogonistic view.

[tank0909 Senior Member Member of the Month Jan. 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close tank0909]

Try not to think of it as performing, per se. It's just 2 (more if you're lucky) people enjoying each other. Of course we want to do the best we can and "wow" the other person, but it's just not going to happen every time like that. Some times will be better than others. It all depends on a variety of factors, only a couple being in your control. Set the mood. Do some research and learn some new techniques. Then try those techniques and see how the other person reacts. Once you get out of your own head you can focus on the other person and let nature take its course, and have fun doing it.

[JohnClark Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnClark]

Bro you sound like you have a special hatred for women. Chill out, this thread isn't the place for negativity or women bashing. The man just wanted some advice for performance anxiety. Also, for me I typically notice when I control my breathing and stay more present it maximizes my performance. If you're too caught up in the moment with how attractive she is and how amazing it is you'll finish much quicker. Stay in the moment, breathe, stay present.

Not all all. I'm just a realist with a lot of experience. Better that he have an understanding of the scenario now so the OP can understand that as soon as he takes a "I'm indifferent to this relationship" approach, the sooner he can relax and just let the relationship run whatever course it decides. The initial performance anxiety will disappear.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

Hi LB, Look just get all very naked with and in bed and just at first keep to foreplay oral if she wants it and take things from there but very slowly, if she wants full sex just take that slowly, or just ask her to hold back but telling her its not her its you, I'm sure if she really likes you it will be OK

But being naked in bed and talking and idly playing with each other with perhaps some wine to sip will help you as well, make sure the room is nice and warm as this makes things cosy.

But if your having problems find this book its a great bedside book called Love Play by Dr David Delvin try abebooks.com

NOWHARD