Mismatched desire for sex

[Sticke Senior Member Member of the Month March 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close Sticke]

I 've been with my girlfriend for over a year and seven months. For almost a year sex has been not that frequent. We are 20 years old and we have intercourse once a week (at best) and some fooling around maybe once more. The thing is we have had our issues that we try to resolve but it really bothers me that she wants so little sex. So I have masturbated my way through the relationship which is sad.

I 've read an article that couples who have sex once a week are the happiest. So I was like okay that's nice, I am on a good track but yesterday I spoke with my best friend about condoms and I said I order them online because its cheaper. And then we talked about how long it takes for us to empty a dozen-pack of condoms. For me it was +/- 3 months for him a little bit under 2 weeks. Then I realized what the f*ck I am doing with my life. I want to experiment in sex have fun, we really do have a great time f*cking and I always make her cum really hard. But it is really rare so I feel like I can not train myself to be a better lover and try new things.

She also realizes that I don't get enough sex and when she is sad she say "If you were with another girl you would get loads of sex" but I tell her it's alright? How do you think I should approach the matter in order to increase the frequency?

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

It won't happen no matter how you approach it. Tha'st the way she is and you're not going to change it. What matters more to you; more sex or a good relationship?

[Zyxciz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zyxciz]

Maybe sit down and talk with her and suggest you have sex twice a week instead? It's something you'll both have to put in an effort towards, but tell har that it's for the good of the relationship. Plan something for the two of you, invite her to a romantic dinner or another date idea and let it end in the bedroom.

[CrouchetyOldMan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CrouchetyOldMan]

When asked specifically why she feels like sex at the current frequency? she replies: (the exact answer).

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Everyone has different sex drives and sex drives can change with age, hormones, life priorities.

You have to decide what is important to you. There's nothing wrong with ending it because you want more sex. Its better than cheating.

[Mike99027 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mike99027]

Some people just don't need sex as often, she could force herself to do it if it's important to you but that doesn't sound like a relationship with compatible partners, well, since you've posted this question then it's safe to assume it's bothering you quite a bit so I think the relationship isn't working all that great because you may end up looking for more sex elsewhere eventually.

[Sticke Senior Member Member of the Month March 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close Sticke]

The fact that she can masturbate 3+ times per day and watch porn. Or that she might be so sore from masturbating when I am away that the next day I can't touch her down there. Or that at the first month we did it eveyday and the fact that she was surpassing my sex drives makes me question if its a sex drive issue or something deeper between us.

[NOWHARD Banned Find all posts View Profile Close NOWHARD]

OK, Try it this way so how often are you sleeping together and I mean all night long, because the more your sleeping together the more sex you will have only being in your 20's, its really hard to just strip off have some fun and may be sex, but if you was stripping and diving in bed for sleep? but we all know the best thing for sleep is sex, so your friend is he sleeping with for a few nights or is just them being sexy.

See its the other thing sex drive, seems yours could be higher than hers, or is because she is at home or at your place and are you both living at home, if your both home birds that's the difficult part of your sex lives.

See once you get your own place it could really change up, she could become very demanding for sex twice a day every day, means you be buying condoms by the case load and not a pack of 12 as that could be used in a week+, and yes me and my wife have had far more than your getting, 3 times in an evening is nice and we did have sex once a day for 3 months, but don't get dishearten by that as we have been at for 48 years, I think our average is about 3 times a week.

If your a really good couple and get on, then you should really think about moving in together, then see what happens to sex then, as its the only way your find out.

NOWHARD

[Sticke Senior Member Member of the Month March 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close Sticke]

We sleep together almost everyday. When we sleep less together we have more sex. Because we go to the same uni and we also have our own apartments we spend a lot of time alone together. Maybe that hurts our relationship, because it reduces the anticipation.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Sounds like she has a masturbation problem.

3 x per day when you have a willing partner to have sex with isnt right. Nothing wrong with a bit of self love in a relationship but it should overtake your sex life.

I think that's what needs addressing.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

^ pretty smart ain't she? Even for a girl!

[Sticke Senior Member Member of the Month March 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close Sticke]

Sounds like she has a masturbation problem.

3 x per day when you have a willing partner to have sex with isnt right. Nothing wrong with a bit of self love in a relationship but it should overtake your sex life.

I think that's what needs addressing.

It isn't frequent but happens in bursts.

[Big-Iron Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Big-Iron]

If you have great sex, it's def not about you or the way you bone her. I'm putting my bet on Porn and Masturbation Orgasm addiction (PMO).

Go to no-fap and find out how to help her. Lot's of guys and gals there have this problem (either with their partners or themselves).

Just remember to approach it carefuly and with love. Don't go "You're an addict and should stop watching porn and masturbating, because I need you to have sex with me everyday."

[Mike99027 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mike99027]

Aha! now if she masturbates and watches porn then it's possible she has porn addiction just like many girls and guys do, maybe she could try cutting out the porn because perhaps even though you two have good sex but the porn addiction still could make things not as exciting since it's not what porn portrays.

[Big-Iron Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Big-Iron]

Basically: porn degrades your sexuality. It rewires your brain to seek sexual relief by using porn. It teaches your brain that masturbating to porn is how humans reproduce and it should be aroused by that. That makes your brain view sex with second person as redundant.

Go to "your brain on porn" website. Good source of knowledge. Helped me a lot.