Hi all:
I'm a chronic worrier, I always have been. I get caught in negative thinking feedback loops that last for days or longer.
I have been dating this girl for almost 2 months and I really like her. I think we have amazing chemistry together and I don't want to screw this up.
Anyways, I'm a very laid back person and I don't do well with confrontation and I also don't do well with opening up and revealing flaws and insecurities. And I think that frustrates her because she is quite the opposite, she always says what she feels even if she gets emotional or feels vulnerable.
We have been in an argument or two and it has bothered me. I tend to dwell on the argument and instead of enjoying the moment I like to play scenarios on my head on how to prevent us getting in that argument again over and over until I make myself go crazy. I realize this is irrational.
She is very smart and knows a lot about body language and human pyschology. So she can tell when I'm worried about something and calls me out all the time. She gets frustrated if I don't want to talk about it, and I'm worried if I do then she will get upset and we might break up.
But anyways that's just a back story to my main point. I worry about worrying. I worry about sexual performance sometimes, because I know if I am worried in the moment then it will effect my sexual performance. I worry when I go to the doctor and get my blood pressure taken that I'm going to be nervous in this moment because I know that makes my blood pressure spike and that they will think something is wrong with me but there really isn't.
If there is a situation where anxiety will make it worse, then I'm going to worry about the anxiety because I don't feel in control. Because I know that she can pick up on my anxiety, sometimes I just worry that I am going to act anxious around her and cause her to think I'm uncomfortable around her and think we need to break up which I fear more than anything.
I know this is completely irrational and all in my head, but it's something I deal with. How can do better and living in the moment and just enjoying the present instead of just worrying about what could go wrong?
I'm a chronic worrier, I always have been. I get caught in negative thinking feedback loops that last for days or longer.
I have been dating this girl for almost 2 months and I really like her. I think we have amazing chemistry together and I don't want to screw this up.
Anyways, I'm a very laid back person and I don't do well with confrontation and I also don't do well with opening up and revealing flaws and insecurities. And I think that frustrates her because she is quite the opposite, she always says what she feels even if she gets emotional or feels vulnerable.
We have been in an argument or two and it has bothered me. I tend to dwell on the argument and instead of enjoying the moment I like to play scenarios on my head on how to prevent us getting in that argument again over and over until I make myself go crazy. I realize this is irrational.
She is very smart and knows a lot about body language and human pyschology. So she can tell when I'm worried about something and calls me out all the time. She gets frustrated if I don't want to talk about it, and I'm worried if I do then she will get upset and we might break up.
But anyways that's just a back story to my main point. I worry about worrying. I worry about sexual performance sometimes, because I know if I am worried in the moment then it will effect my sexual performance. I worry when I go to the doctor and get my blood pressure taken that I'm going to be nervous in this moment because I know that makes my blood pressure spike and that they will think something is wrong with me but there really isn't.
If there is a situation where anxiety will make it worse, then I'm going to worry about the anxiety because I don't feel in control. Because I know that she can pick up on my anxiety, sometimes I just worry that I am going to act anxious around her and cause her to think I'm uncomfortable around her and think we need to break up which I fear more than anything.
I know this is completely irrational and all in my head, but it's something I deal with. How can do better and living in the moment and just enjoying the present instead of just worrying about what could go wrong?
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