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  • The Burrito Supremo Dating Advice Thread

    Hey guys, after receiving numerous requests via PM and in the "What has your wife/gf said" thread I have decided to create this thread to offer tips, advice and mindsets that have made successful with the ladies and kept the burrito busy. I appreciate all the encouragement and compliments I have received from you guys and I hope that this thread can help increase your chances in the dating field whether the ambition is to just hook up and run up the numbers or find a solid steady with true potential.

    Lets make this fun and feel free to ask question or drop scenarios that you would like my opinion on. Otherwise, I will just contribute thoughts and experiences on hopefully a regular basis here.
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    2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
    BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

  • #2
    Okay so here's your first one. My wife and I were sitting on the deck the other night, she with a glass of wine and I with my rum. She told me now that this covid bullshit is passing and the gym is now open that she wants to go back to the gym to get in shape. I said honey round is a shape. She waked away with a nasty look. What did I do wrong? I was just being honest. Don't women like honesty?
    The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

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    • #3
      This first topic is on Tinder.

      Of all the dating apps for my area Tinder has been by far the most productive, Hinge is almost a close second and Bumble and POF are garbage in my opinion, like I said for my demographics.

      There are two successful approaches that I have found one is for hookups only and the other is for casual dating.

      The first approach is one of mystery but also straight to the point. You add several pics to you profile that don't reveal your face but do reveal you body type (shirtless flex pics, etc.). In your bio you basically indicate that you can be discreet and are looking for fun only. Bonus points if you can be crafty and elude to bedroom skills or size. It's bold, direct and gutsy but if you match with someone at least you know their intentions as well and it's pretty much smooth sailing from there because there's no beating around the bushes.

      The second approach is more versatile and fun but you also get women with various levels of interests and desires so you have to do a little more work. This has BY FAR been my most successful bio. I got over 35 matches in just a week and actually met a few of them and had several others in the works until I found one that I absolutely love that lives less than a mile from me. Here's the bio I used:

      "Just looking to do me while you do you. Kinda emotionally burnt out at the moment and just wanna cut loose and have some fun. Whether it's innocent or not is up to you.

      I'm 5'10" and love kayaking, hiking and cooking. Recently emBraced the keto lifestyle and I'm loving the new me. I like adventure, I'm not vanilla and I got it Where it Counts ."

      I have a hidden message with the caps B-W-C so if the girl is smart enough she knows I got a big burrito. Really the first paragraph is what counts and the second part is more specific to you.

      There's more I want to say but I don't wanna ramble. I'll just stay specific to dating bios for now. Next post will be on pickup lines and getting the girl to be interested in you by standing out from the rest.
      Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
      Recommended Routine
      2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
      BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

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      • #4
        Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
        Okay so here's your first one. My wife and I were sitting on the deck the other night, she with a glass of wine and I with my rum. She told me now that this covid bullshit is passing and the gym is now open that she wants to go back to the gym to get in shape. I said honey round is a shape. She waked away with a nasty look. What did I do wrong? I was just being honest. Don't women like honesty?
        Rum, I wouldn't expect less from you bro lol. There are very few women I have met that could take a weight joke. This past week I almost witnessed a bar fight over a guy's comment about a ladies weight. That's just generally "no man's land" ya can't win. Is it funny? Yes! Does she think it's funny? Almost never! Expect a cold shoulder tonight and no hanky panky in the bedroom lol.
        Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
        Recommended Routine
        2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
        BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

        Comment


        • #5
          From my experience, 80% of the ladies love a good ol cheesy pickup line and you can usually smooth over the remaining 20% by indicating that you were being funny with emojis followed by How's your week been? or How's your weekend going?

          NEVER NEVER NEVER just say "Hey". This will be another post convo but I've actually asked the girls I've met up with about their experiences on Tinder with other guys and every time they say that when a guy just says "Hey" they are immediately thinking "next!" unless the guys really cute, the then he can get away with anything (the ladies words, not mine).

          I simply googled "Cheesy pickup lines" and picked out a couple that matched my personality and quirkiness. Ones a classic - "Sure you're not a parking ticket? Because you got FINE all over you!" That one works but it doesn't sound original. The one with the best reaction is this - "Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart that is taking off??" They loooove that one. You just kinda gotta get a feel based on their bio and pics as to what pickup line works best. I still recommend following it up by asking how their week/weekend has been. Usually you get a response like "OMG that had me laughing! My weeks been pretty good, how about yours?"

          Okay now that you got her interest it's time to seal the deal. Usually you only get maximum of three message exchanges before she decides if shes interested or not so gotta make it count! Try to talk about something crazy or exciting that happened recently. A funny story is usually the best. Here's my example:

          After asking how her week was and she says whatever and ask how was mine I said it was good besides Wednesday. Then she would ask, "uh oh, what happened Wednesday?" I said, "Found out my brothers were light-weights when it came to drinking margaritas..." Now you got her attention and she's very intrigued. I went on to say how they came back to my place and confessed some things that bleach can't erase off my mind and one ended up passed out on my living room floor and the other by the toilet. Now she's laughing at the story, your interesting to her and can make her laugh, you're in a good position. Then I followed up with saying I recorded a few videos of the shenanigans and told her if she had Snapchat I could send them to her. EVERY SINGLE GIRL SAID YES. Now I have a way it can better communicate with her, post stuff on my story to get her attention and send pics to her (consensually). I send her the videos, she laughs her ass off, I'm now an interest to her because I showed personality.

          That's my scenario, try to have something like that. It makes it so much easier and it feels so much more natural, nothing is forced or awkward. Your a leg up on the competition.
          Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
          Recommended Routine
          2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
          BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

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          • #6
            This is just a general advice post.

            Women LOVE transparency. Shoot straight with them. Be open and honest about what you want and are looking for. If the lady seems harder to convince you may want to spend a few conversations getting her to really like you before you clearly state what you are wanting, especially if it's nothing serious. My reasoning for looking to have fun and nothing serious has been that I'm focusing on myself and my kids after the divorce and want to get those things in focus first before I try to decide what I want in a relationship with another person. --I have never had a lady disagree with that statement. Sometimes you just have to give a little rationale behind your motives to prevent red flags from going off in her head.
            Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
            Recommended Routine
            2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
            BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

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            • #7
              The best thing you can have going for you is being 100% confident and comfortable with yourself and what you want. It gives you the ability to be bold and take chances that are often rewarding. I can't tell you how many times a girl has said to me, "I can't tell if you are cocky or just confident, either way I find that attractive." A girl CAN tell when you are just saying whatever to tickle her ear and get her in the bed. They have a way of asking contradicting questions that exposes you as a fraud. ALSO! Understand that not every girl is meant for you. The sooner you can recognize that the better. Humans have been crated to be so diverse that there isn't one specific mold that works for all. Just like with fishing, sometimes you have to catch and release. Some of the worst relationships I've had were the ones that I forced to happen.
              Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
              Recommended Routine
              2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
              BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

              Comment


              • #8
                When you are with a new partner and become sexual you can benefit a lot from asking them what did they like best and was there anything they didn't like or anything that made them feel uncomfortable. If you have these convos with every partner you will begin to see patterns and generalizations of likes and dislikes. For example, I know that most women love their hair pulled and ass to be spanked. Most women also love a mixture of slow, intimate sex and rough hard pounding. Changing up the pace from time to time keeps the sex from becoming boring. YOU WILL NEVER GO WRONG putting her first. Make sure she orgasms before you, hopefully several times. Don't focus on yourself, focus on her. Pay attention to how her body responds to what you are doing and follow the positive signs just like we follow the positive PI's when doing PE. If you put her first and make sure she is taken care of you will almost guarantee that she will be coming back for more. However, if you choose to be selfish and wham bam thank ya ma'am, unless you are really attractive to her, she probably will still be looking for someone else.
                Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
                Recommended Routine
                2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
                BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ultimate Burrito View Post
                  When you are with a new partner and become sexual you can benefit a lot from asking them what did they like best and was there anything they didn't like or anything that made them feel uncomfortable. If you have these convos with every partner you will begin to see patterns and generalizations of likes and dislikes. For example, I know that most women love their hair pulled and ass to be spanked. Most women also love a mixture of slow, intimate sex and rough hard pounding. Changing up the pace from time to time keeps the sex from becoming boring. YOU WILL NEVER GO WRONG putting her first. Make sure she orgasms before you, hopefully several times. Don't focus on yourself, focus on her. Pay attention to how her body responds to what you are doing and follow the positive signs just like we follow the positive PI's when doing PE. If you put her first and make sure she is taken care of you will almost guarantee that she will be coming back for more. However, if you choose to be selfish and wham bam thank ya ma'am, unless you are really attractive to her, she probably will still be looking for someone else.
                  This is a big one. A lot of people seem to think women want to be thrusted by a machine, and trust me, a machine will out perform you every.single.time! You have use your hands, legs, thighs, chest, arms, mouth, teeth, tongue, nose, cheek, words, sounds, and noises. Those same words of affirmation that the Burrito gets about his burrito works the exact same way for the lady. When she is having sex, everything on her body is more sensitive. Make her feel close in the moment!

                  Number two, dance in the vag. Don't always do doggy/cowgirl/missionary. Be goofy and silly and try other stuff like doing a handstand off the side of the bed and thrusting. I think a lot of men take sex way too seriously. It's not. It's just normal adults doing what they do.
                  1 inch at a time
                  GOAL: +1.5 BPEL, +1 MEG
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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by JustALilMore View Post
                    Those same words of affirmation that the Burrito gets about his burrito works the exact same way for the lady. When she is having sex, everything on her body is more sensitive. Make her feel close in the moment!
                    That is so critical! It helps erase any insecurities that she may have when you compliment her body and the way she makes you feel. It's a great way to remove barriers she may have.

                    Originally posted by JustALilMore View Post
                    Number two, dance in the vag. Don't always do doggy/cowgirl/missionary. Be goofy and silly and try other stuff like doing a handstand off the side of the bed and thrusting. I think a lot of men take sex way too seriously. It's not. It's just normal adults doing what they do.
                    I will say not every lady is goofy or cool enough to be down for this. Some want the guy to act like a man and not a boy. Nothing wrong with either, just some women are more narrow minded in their views of what's sexually attracted to them. Once again, communication and being able to read a woman is crucial.
                    Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
                    Recommended Routine
                    2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
                    BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Ultimate Burrito View Post
                      I will say not every lady is goofy or cool enough to be down for this. Some want the guy to act like a man and not a boy. Nothing wrong with either, just some women are more narrow minded in their views of what's sexually attracted to them. Once again, communication and being able to read a woman is crucial.
                      Very true! Some women will think it's corny, some will find it fun. There isn't a set rule. I guess my main point was to not be afraid to change your style up sometimes. A lot of my women friends tell me they are tired of these guys doing the same ol, same ol. If I was single...heh.
                      1 inch at a time
                      GOAL: +1.5 BPEL, +1 MEG
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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by JustALilMore View Post
                        Very true! Some women will think it's corny, some will find it fun. There isn't a set rule. I guess my main point was to not be afraid to change your style up sometimes. A lot of my women friends tell me they are tired of these guys doing the same ol, same ol. If I was single...heh.
                        Anytime you can become a "first" for something with the lady you will never be forgotten. Then if she decides to part ways and gets back into boring sex, don't be surprised if she hits you up again later because she remembers how fun you were.
                        Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
                        Recommended Routine
                        2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
                        BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I like how you use bait in your Tinder messages. For example the "except Wednesday".

                          I use the same strategy when they ask me what I do - I use a specific line to bait and leave myself open to sexualize the conversation without it being weird.

                          Here's my usual routine after the opener:

                          me: "Are you in "x" city?"

                          her: "Yes, and you?"

                          me: "Yea! I just came back a few days ago since I had to travel a bit for my job - this week has been a bit crazy..."

                          her: "Oh, what do you do?"

                          me: "Are you sure you want to know, you're not shy right? "

                          her: "No, no pls tell me!"

                          (this way you frame her as open minded and she accepts your frame so in the future, when you go more sexual, she'll comply since she's already accepted your frame as being "not shy", "open-minded" or whatever). If she pulls back you can say something like "I thought you were open-minded!" - most of the time she'll fall back in line and go with it "Yes, yes I am" etc.

                          Everyone wants to be viewed as open minded, fun and adventurous (even very shy girls). So that's an easy and effective frame to put on them, hard to deny.

                          What you write after this is up to you.

                          It's amazing since you can predict what and when they'll ask a specific question and you already know how to reply + it baits her, frames her as open minded AND gives you an easy transition into sexualization.

                          vamaci
                          Senior Member
                          Member of the Month Sept 2020
                          Last edited by vamaci; 09-04-2020, 04:09 AM.
                          August - Sept 2020
                          6.7"x5.3" - 7.1"x5.45"

                          Short Term Goal:
                          7.25"x5.5"

                          Long Term Goal:
                          8"x5.75"


                          Hard work, discipline, sacrifice, and dedication.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by vamaci View Post
                            It's amazing since you can predict what and when they'll ask a specific question and you already know how to reply + it baits her
                            Yes! This is a strategy I recently came up with and has been really successful. My aim is to present myself as someone that is not a threat, someone they can feel comfortable with and someone that has a good sense of humor and doesn't have a boring life.

                            One of my favorite ways to transition to a more sexual direction is to talk about how I love to cook. It leads to me sending a few food porn pics and the responses are usually, "that looks really good" or "OMG when are you cooking for me?" Then I'll slide in another pic of me wearing only my apron holding a dish I prepared and let me tell ya, there is something about a guy that can cook and is wearing only an apron that really turns women on. Based on how she reacts after that I know if she is going to be easy or if she's gonna be a challenge. Nothing wrong with either, it just sets the tempo.
                            Progress Log | Extender Progress Log
                            Recommended Routine
                            2016 (5 1/2 x 4 1/2) > 2017 (7 5/8 x 5 5/8) > 2020 (8 x 5 3/4) > Oct 2021 (7 1/2 x 5 3/4)
                            BPEL Gains: 2.5" | MEG Gains: 1.25"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Good advice so far. I was out of the dating game for awhile so I fumbled getting back into things. Let me give my basic advice and then follow it up with some questions too.

                              1. Take good pics. I have a house with a bare wall facing East, so in the morning it has amazing light. With a simple SD card camera I took a few shots that look semi-professional after applying a few filters. I'm wearing a goofy t shirt but it showcases my personality and body. Pictures of you with friends or better yet, groups of other women at a social event like a bar scene go extremely far in pre-selection (other people already like you, so they should too). Shirtless mirror selfies on a serious profile are bad, but shirtless beach pics are great. If you aren't sure, ask your friends for some honest feedback about your profile.

                              2. Download snapchat. I was slow to adopt it myself, but women love using it, especially younger women, so it's really a must. It makes communication so much easier when you can snap random pictures back and forth about things you are talking about, books, cooking, house decor... and you can post stories about interesting things going on in your life. And when you get to heavy sexual flirting, it has obvious advantages. Overall it just gives you more chances to keep in touch and pick up random conversation later on if you don't slam dunk on the first night of texting.

                              3. Download Instagram and post your pictures and cool activities there too. Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating, all let you link your Instagram account to your dating profile so you have a nice showcase for your hobbies. (Also, make sure you HAVE hobbies). Things that you shouldn't post on your profile, like car pics, post here.

                              4. You're going to strike out a lot. Don't take it personally. Out of a dozen women I send messages back and forth with and really vibe with, I might actually meet one in person. Attractive women on dating apps are getting constant messages and validation. You have to rise above your competition, yes, but it's also a numbers game pure and simple.

                              5. Know how to escalate things in order. You need to get her attention in the first couple messages, move off the app to texting, flirt back and forth (and if she's receptive, escalate to more sexual conversation) and find the right time to suggest a meetup later that week. Skipping any steps will spook them off. One of my first matches last year I asked out for a coffee date about four messages in, huge mistake. Another girl I did alright with until I suggested a date a few hours later the same night, just came off too eager.



                              I want to ask though, what size city are you living in Burrito? How far do you have your distance settings and how close is your average match and meetup? I live in a rather dull area myself, about 45 minutes away from the two closest metropolitan areas so I don't have nearly the pool of women I'd like to pick from. Is it worth opening up the distance in your opinion?

                              And how often do you get girls that love dirty texts and pics but never want to meet up or share much in return? I'm not entirely sure they want anything more than the fantasy to get off on, but if you have any tips to convert them into meet ups I'd be interested.
                              MulejuiceMcQuaid
                              Senior Member
                              Last edited by MulejuiceMcQuaid; 09-04-2020, 08:46 AM.
                              BPEL-MSEG in inches (fatpad 1.0)
                              Jun '16: 6.0 - 5.0 (ballpark)
                              Apr '17: 6.5 - 5.3
                              Jan '18: 7.0 - 5.4
                              Sep '18: 7.5 - 5.5
                              Current: 7.8 - 5.6
                              Goal__: 8.0 - 5.6 (I'm stuck in a plateau)

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