Wife not impressed

[GettingOverIt]

So you acknowledge that the problem started before your current wife mentioned her bigger ex. The real issue is not that your current wife wants bigger dicks but that you were traumatized by your ex wife. Try to focus on healing, either through a therapist or on your own. Maybe there are guided meditation programmes for body dysmorphia or stuff like that, the internet is full of options.

My wife also tells me that it's my ex wife. I accept that too. The trauma is from the fact that I went through what I went through with my ex wife, divorced her, and thought it was one a million that I'll ever go through an ex bigger issue again. Then I met my wife, while we we were dating I thought I got to know her and made sure I knew her well, like make sure you know her past in terms of guys and sex before getting serious, because I knew myself and that I was not capable of dealing with that again, ever. My wife told me everything I asked to know, and then the dick size thing never came up. I simply didn't care, I figured if it was as important in her sexual mindset etc that would have been a good time to bring it up or joke about it in some way... so I was like okay cool, I can mentally move forward now with my life and with her. The traumatizing moment for me was when I stumbled across her second ex comments on her Facebook page. She never mentioned she dated this guy, probably cos he was black... But turned out she dated him and they broke up less than three months before we met. At the time we met and in the weeks that followed, she told me, just like me, she had been single for three years until I came along. I was also single for three years since my ex wife and I divorced. So it was easy for me not to sweat her ex because I thought he was three years ago and he treated her very violently and bad.

So I felt good about moving forward in life with her. Then when we finally got married, a month later I found out about her bigger ex. He was black, bodybuilder, Congolese and from all the dick jokes and stereotypes on the subject that I learnt from friends and in the office, coupled with my ex wife issues, just hit me really hard.

Then I found out she's had plenty of orgasms with him and she admitted she loved the crap out of him and their break up really hurt her. Then I find out he was what all those stereotype stories about black dicks were true, and, so that coupled with my ex wife issues, the shock that she lied or didn't even mention him before, and the fact that I've been struggling to make her cum, all the while thinking it had to do with her violent first ex boyfriend and she just needs to know I love her sincerely and trust me and let go in bed so she can experience the pleasure of sex, with me giving it to her... all that just went up in smoke...

It broke me, especially since I can't truly vent about it, I am expected to take it like a man, just like that. That hurts man, really hurt me. I felt like my ex wife was totally right about my size, I must be small since statistically like some one said here, she couldn't have just found some huge guy or guys... they were probably average and I must be just smaller.

This is the trauma of it. I wasn't myself for months after that... at work I couldn't think... I became mean and rude to people at the office, my family members, I was going insane.

I've learnt to deal with it these days and one way is to grow up about it, and grow up my dick about it. LOL!

Btw we're married ten years. So you see I have been good at dealing with it so much so that I didn't ruin the marriage. But now and then... it does creep around, and I go over this all over again.

It's a nightmare, but I need to keep going.

[Pegasus]

Yeah so she is working hard to lower your confidence .

[Himura]

I dont want to judge but looks like she's playing with you and lowering you confidence! Its not nice things to say and would never have positive effects in your SO.
And youre too harsh on yourself, you're struggled for 10 years with that and dont let it ruin your marriage? And tryed to work things to have better sex to please your wife right? It seems to me a true man action, dont think less of yourself because you have some low points each one of us have it.

[GettingOverIt]

Stay positive in your head bro, you'll get farther and be happier. Trust me, I know.

Thanks for the encouragement.

[GettingOverIt]

I dont want to judge but looks like she's playing with you and lowering you confidence! Its not nice things to say and would never have positive effects in your SO.
And youre too harsh on yourself, you're struggled for 10 years with that and dont let it ruin your marriage? And tryed to work things to have better sex to please your wife right? It seems to me a true man action, dont think less of yourself because you have some low points each one of us have it.

This is the part of a marriage that you have to appreciate the other good things about her. There's a lot of other things, admirable stuff. I've met many women, never dated them just as far as getting to know them and she is the best in character, for me. Our issues are really only this single thing, so it's hectic for me mentally but to me there's way worse out there and none as good as her.

So I'm not about to throw that away. I do feel if I can overcome these insecurities and at the same time grow down there, there'll be nothing to complain about.

That's why I do PE. It's therapeutic for me. Though it would be quite a bonus if she noticed the improvement.

[Johnny D]

This is the part of a marriage that you have to appreciate the other good things about her. There's a lot of other things, admirable stuff. I've met many women, never dated them just as far as getting to know them and she is the best in character, for me. Our issues are really only this single thing, so it's hectic for me mentally but to me there's way worse out there and none as good as her.

So I'm not about to throw that away. I do feel if I can overcome these insecurities and at the same time grow down there, there'll be nothing to complain about.

That's why I do PE. It's therapeutic for me. Though it would be quite a bonus if she noticed the improvement.

She doesn't care about that, though. Very few women do. You think your size is going to change things between you and her - it will not. You have some self esteem issues (which could probably be worked through with a therapist - my advice) and she's using them against you whether subconsciously or not to keep some sort of power over you. No matter how big you grow your dick, her ex will always have a bigger one.

[Pegasus]

She doesn't care about that, though. Very few women do. You think your size is going to change things between you and her - it will not. You have some self esteem issues (which could probably be worked through with a therapist - my advice) and she's using them against you whether subconsciously or not to keep some sort of power over you. No matter how big you grow your dick, her ex will always have a bigger one.

Yep .

[GettingOverIt]

Today I literally showed her with the tape measure on my erection that I'm now 7.2". She was stunned... she like got a shock to see that. She gasped in shock and said "What the! What are you doing?" I could see this impressed her and really put her into perspective. We were in the bathroom and next to the tap that I showed her the other night. So she realized that I am indeed longer. I could see her body language change and she just sort gave in and stood still while I stood facing her and pushed my erection against her vagina, she was getting wet. It was amazing, she like had no words.... then I told her next I'm gonna work on thickness, and she was like, "You're very thick already and it kinda hurts."

So I was right... she needed to see the proof by showing her clearly what my size is. Definitely turned her on and... that gasp... was priceless.

[GettingOverIt]

Today I literally showed her with the tape measure on my erection that I'm now 7.2". She was stunned... she like got a shock to see that. She gasped in shock and said "What the! What are you doing?" I could see this impressed her and really put her into perspective. We were in the bathroom and next to the tap that I showed her the other night. So she realized that I am indeed longer. I could see her body language change and she just sort gave in and stood still while I stood facing her and pushed my erection against her vagina, she was getting wet. It was amazing, she like had no words.... then I told her next I'm gonna work on thickness, and she was like, "You're very thick already and it kinda hurts."

So I was right... she needed to see the proof by showing her clearly what my size is. Definitely turned her on and... that gasp... was priceless.

Forgot to mention that she gasped and commented , she was still, but breathing changed and she was blushing... perfect response that I needed.

[southernprince]

That's great! You should post that on the success forum or on this thread: What has your wife/gf said, that motivate you to continue PE