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  • How to find a quality girlfriend/wife

    Hello,

    You can skip reading this paragraph if you're busy. I am 22 and I'm finishing my last year at university. I've been spending the last year trying to improve myself. I cut out video games, politics, and porn which has made me way more productive, confident and happier. I started learning how to play the piano in my free time, and started gaining muscle and loosing fat to the point where my shoulders pop out and I have abs. I'm making good progress towards getting this job I want after college by doing well in classes and passing these preliminary tests for the job. But I am still unhappy because my romantic life is trash. I've done a few fwb before, but either I grow attached or she does, and either way I end up feeling like shit. I want someone longterm but it seems ever increasingly harder to find someone good.

    My question is how do I find a quality gf and eventually wife. I recently downloaded Bumble and had like 100 matches in a few days, but none of the people I matched with seemed like quality long-term material so I ended up deleting the app. Seems like the majority of girls my age are either too promiscuous to be trusted, too far left for someone who's apolitical like me, or just not very bright/interesting. I've gone on about 6 first dates this year and not to be an asshole but all of them have left me disappointed.

    1) What makes someone quality gf/wife material?

    2) How and where do you find a quality girl?
    Start: 5.875x4.75
    Now: 7x5.125
    Goal: 7.25x5.5

  • #2
    Well, you're on the right track to be selective. Finding the right woman can take time, unless you just get lucky and she comes into your life early. Looking back, it's easy to see that a guy your age has a ton of time to find the right girl. Sounds counterintuitive, but seems like the guys that don't try too hard to find her, find the right girl faster. My advice would be to enjoy your life as you like it, be social, continue to be selective, and let it happen naturally. To your questions:

    1) You already know the obvious answer - the one that fits YOUR criteria. Attributes you'll be glad you had as criteria are honest, loyal, intelligent, caring, decisive, confident and having similar interests as you - and did I say HONEST? If appearance is important - look at her older relatives to get an idea how she'll look years from now. I can tell you that women in their early-mid 20s can look very different by the time they're 35, 45, 55. If sex is important to you, look for someone sexually curious - not necessarily experienced, but open to trying new things with a glint in her eye and orgasmic.

    2) You never know where you'll find her. Could be anywhere. Just do what you do, don't go out of your way and you'll find her. If she's a good match, you two will probably tend to go to similar places. There really is that thing people call a "spark" both people get when they meet. If you meet her and you both get that spark, don't be shy, pounce on it and see where the relationship goes. Too many guys have "that girl" in their past they wish they would have done more to get to know.
    Start: BPEL 6.75', EG 5.8", BPFL 4.5", FG 4.7", BPFSL 7.0"
    05/2021: BPEL 7.65”, EG 6.0”, BPFL 5.8”, FG 5.0", BPFSL 8.0"
    Goal: BPEL 8.0", EG 6.0", BPFL 5.75" FG 5.0", BPFSL 8.5"

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    • #3
      Take it from me; they are all quality until about 20 minutes after you say "I do"! It's downhill from there.
      The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

      Comment


      • #4
        I don't know how you can tell much about a person in 1 meeting.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Physdoc View Post
          Sounds counterintuitive, but seems like the guys that don't try too hard to find her, find the right girl faster. My advice would be to enjoy your life as you like it, be social, continue to be selective, and let it happen naturally.
          Very good advice. I should be focusing on myself and naturally I'll end up finding the right person.
          Start: 5.875x4.75
          Now: 7x5.125
          Goal: 7.25x5.5

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
            Take it from me; they are all quality until about 20 minutes after you say "I do"! It's downhill from there.
            Really? Some people probably like their marriages. Can you elaborate?
            Start: 5.875x4.75
            Now: 7x5.125
            Goal: 7.25x5.5

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
              I don't know how you can tell much about a person in 1 meeting.
              As soon as they start talking about past hookups/fwb without me asking I tend to loose any interest. This is the most common reason it only takes one date for me to decide I don't want to continue with said person.
              Start: 5.875x4.75
              Now: 7x5.125
              Goal: 7.25x5.5

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by SuperGuy View Post
                Really? Some people probably like their marriages. Can you elaborate?
                Elaborate? Okay I'm bored so might as well. I have been answering your question, how do I get a good one, for a long time in one form or another. Lot's of young guys ask the same thing. You want the truth? Okay here it is.
                Finding a quality friend, girlfriend boyfriend or whatever just seems to happen. People meet either on a dating site, at work or just going to get a cup of coffee. Things happen and some type of relationship begins. If it's a good relationship then it grows; if not it withers away.
                I have found that people who like to set up parameters or a game plan if you will usually are unsuccessful. I want a girl that looks like this, likes to do that, has a certain type of hair and on and on. They create this ideal person in their head and no one can ever live up to some vision of a woman they created in their heads. It just doesn't work.

                Whether you're talking to them in person or on social media take time to get to know them. Some of the ones you dismissed because they said this or that about a past boyfriend may have been great people if you had given them the chance to get to know you and you them.
                Hey do you want some girl you're chatting with on social media to cut you off after one conversation because you said something she didn't like? No you're a nice guy and she never gave you the chance to show her what a great guy you are. Doesn't that piss you off? It would me. Well just maybe the people you're chatting with may need more than a conversation or two to show you how great they are. You might have missed one already.

                If you try to meet people by having a game plan and check off boxes you'll be lonely for a long time. Go out, have fun, enjoy and get to know people and have a great time being young.
                The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Stop looking.
                  You never slow down, you never grow old!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by SuperGuy View Post
                    As soon as they start talking about past hookups/fwb without me asking I tend to loose any interest. This is the most common reason it only takes one date for me to decide I don't want to continue with said person.
                    I completely agree that a woman can give you enough info/clues during a first date to rule her out and not ask her out again.

                    But I will say that after my first date with my gf, I didn't think she liked me that much. We had a nice date and all, but just didn't think I did alot for her. I really clicked with her and it didn't hurt that she was as gorgeous and sexy as her Match profile pictures. Little did I know, as I'm driving home from the date thinking it didn't go well, she's on the phone with her best friend spilling about how much she liked me. Fortunately, I sent her the obligatory "thanks for the date" email, because she asked for another date in her response. Turns out she was stomach-turning nervous during the first date and was much more fun and engaging on our subsequent dates.
                    Start: BPEL 6.75', EG 5.8", BPFL 4.5", FG 4.7", BPFSL 7.0"
                    05/2021: BPEL 7.65”, EG 6.0”, BPFL 5.8”, FG 5.0", BPFSL 8.0"
                    Goal: BPEL 8.0", EG 6.0", BPFL 5.75" FG 5.0", BPFSL 8.5"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by SuperGuy View Post
                      My question is how do I find a quality gf and eventually wife. I recently downloaded Bumble and had like 100 matches in a few days, but none of the people I matched with seemed like quality long-term material so I ended up deleting the app. Seems like the majority of girls my age are either too promiscuous to be trusted, too far left for someone who's apolitical like me, or just not very bright/interesting. I've gone on about 6 first dates this year and not to be an asshole but all of them have left me disappointed.

                      Looking for a long term mate, on a first date, is a lot like buying house. You're looking for all the defects.

                      Dating should be about having fun. You are young and have plenty of time.

                      You don't know someone well enough on a first date, you need a few dates before you know if you like them.
                      Last edited by Xystum; 12-05-2020, 03:08 PM.
                      11-10-2019 :BPEL 6.25 MEG 5.50
                      01-06-2020: BPEL 6.50 MEG 5.70
                      02-01-2020: BPEL 6.90 MEG 6
                      02-20-2020: BPEL 7.00 BPFSL 7.40 MEG 6

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by SuperGuy View Post
                        As soon as they start talking about past hookups/fwb without me asking I tend to loose any interest. This is the most common reason it only takes one date for me to decide I don't want to continue with said person.
                        If they are not trying the bigger dick ex on you is that really such a major issue ?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
                          If they are not trying the bigger dick ex on you is that really such a major issue ?
                          My GF knows better. Either that, or I am the bigger ex. Lol
                          You never slow down, you never grow old!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            The bigger dick ex is a flaming red flag.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by SuperGuy View Post
                              As soon as they start talking about past hookups/fwb without me asking I tend to loose any interest. This is the most common reason it only takes one date for me to decide I don't want to continue with said person.
                              Just occurred to me after reading the other posts. When I was shopping for my last gf, I was actually looking for someone who would talk about sexual exploits. Not the bragging about big dick ex thing, but sexually open. My ex and I were swingers and I wanted a gf who would be interested in swinging. Having a gf up for an FMF, or watching her in FF, or swapping with another couple's hot wife/gf can be great fun. I knew she was in when I realized she got naked at the drop of a hat and talked about all the beads she'd get at Mardi Gras by dropping her panties, instead of the usual boob flash. Rest of story - going on 8 years of great fun together.
                              Start: BPEL 6.75', EG 5.8", BPFL 4.5", FG 4.7", BPFSL 7.0"
                              05/2021: BPEL 7.65”, EG 6.0”, BPFL 5.8”, FG 5.0", BPFSL 8.0"
                              Goal: BPEL 8.0", EG 6.0", BPFL 5.75" FG 5.0", BPFSL 8.5"

                              Comment

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