Hey guys, new here and just needed a place to vent and put it out there and get some input. This may be lengthy.
I was with this girl for a year and a half. The first few months I didn't feel she was committed to me so I ended up cheating on her twice with a former fwb. A few months pass and we got really serious. I fell in love with her and she was head over heels for me. I bought her a vehicle, took her in, and paid her living expenses for an entire year. Just recently in January she started working her first job and started contributing to the household by sending all the money she earned into my account and I took care of everything.
Fast forward a couple of months in late April she got a job at Hooters. Everything was going good until about a few weeks in. She had made friends with two girls and a friend group that would come in frequently to shoot pool. I trusted this girl entirely, I thought we were inseparable. She was all over me with affection, I was to her, we were looking at buying a home together and getting our futures established. I viewed a home with her and she loved it, called her mother and told her how excited she was. Two days later, she hangs out with her friends and doesn't text me or come home until after I fell asleep at midnight. This was very unusual for her but I let it slide because I was happy she was finally having friends after being cooped up with me for a year and no social life. I woke up the next morning kind of annoyed, she tried to hug me and I just laid on her and then left to work. The next day she did the same thing, said she was going to get her nails done and go to top golf, I send her the money and she goes out to have fun. This time she was out really late again and when I woke up at 3:30 A.m she wasn't home. I panicked and thought the worst may have happened to her. I called her and she picked up, said she was outside in the parking lot. She came up after sitting out there for about 30 minutes and I had a sit down talk with her about her unusual behavior. She sat quietly and listened and just stared off into space.
After my speech was finished, she sat there on the couch in silence for about 15 minutes. She finally looked at me and said, "for the past month I have lost feelings for you, I am no longer in love with you and don't see us working out long term." I was shocked...Just about 5 days ago we were celebrating my birthday having a great time, and just two days earlier she was calling her mother all excited about the home we viewed. I was devastated. I went into my room and cried like a bitch into my pillow and she was balling saying she was sorry and she was gonna go stay at her friends house.
The next day my sadness turned into anger and I suspended her phone line. She immediately transferred 1k out of my account that I couldn't stop and then attempted a 10,000 wire transfer that I thankfully blocked. An entire week went by going at each others throats over the money, back and forth with the vehicle I bought her, and she came over grabbed all her shit and I got her off the lease.
About a week and a half goes by of hardly any contact and she sends me a message on facebook with pictures of her crying and that she quit her job at hooters and has lost everything. That she was in love with me and made a terrible mistake and was under a bad influence with the new friend group. And that she wants me back but said there was something that could prevent that from happening. She told me she was sleeping with a guy just for a place to stay and was using him only for shelter and begged for forgiveness. That she wanted to run away to a different place with me and start over. I said no thanks and she then did the whole I'm gonna kill myself spill. So at this point I am hurt, I get emotional and told her I cheated on her twice at the beginning of our relationship. She immediately went on an insult tirade and blocked me. This was 5 days ago.
I know the guy she is seeing is verbally abusive and she told my sister about it all. My sister is 100% convinced she will not last with him. I reached out to her the day she blocked me with a love email and told her I am willing to forgive and forget if she will and we can fix this. Her only response was if she can get some crap out of my apartment so she can take to the new dudes house when she gets back from her trip. She fled to her family in florida after she sent me all those messages because I sent them to her friends and the guy she was staying with. She left with one luggage and all of her stuff is at the new guys house.
So guys, this is what I am struggling with. I feel like deep down she is still in love with me, but she feels I did her wrong financially, I cheated on her, and she would have to face my family and her new situation if she were to come back home. At the same time, she did this to me with no knowledge I cheated on her. She did it so abruptly, after being really affectionate with me. I have lost feelings for a woman before and my actions were the opposite. I distanced myself and gave her no affection. She didn't do that with me. she was trying to hug and kiss me two days prior to the breakup. she told me she was testing me with it and that I just brushed her off, which I did because I was agitated with what she was doing at the time. I don't know what to think or believe. Part of me thinks she is just young, she is 20, and she is just confused and this new guy and group have changed her and put a barrier up and deep down this isnt her. but then another part of me says it is impossible to do that to somebody you are in love with.
At this time I have broke contact with her in every way. I feel like she wont reach out to me until she comes back from her trip and to the new guy and hits rock bottom when she realizes they wont last. Or maybe she will never reach out to me again. I am willing to forgive her and move forward with her during her time out there but if she goes back to that guys place I can't take her back. I have been severely depressed with this situation and have already last 20 pounds in less than two weeks as I have barely eaten. I am so hurt by this it wont leave my head, I don't know what to do. I am so confused. Just a month ago she was telling me in the shower if I died before her she would kill herself and just a week prior she was telling my family she wanted to get married. Half my family thinks she is confused and isn't being herself and is easily influenced and will come back. The other half says she didn't love me. How could she go from super affectionate and enjoying our time together to such an abrupt stop that nobody saw coming?
What do you guys think?
I was with this girl for a year and a half. The first few months I didn't feel she was committed to me so I ended up cheating on her twice with a former fwb. A few months pass and we got really serious. I fell in love with her and she was head over heels for me. I bought her a vehicle, took her in, and paid her living expenses for an entire year. Just recently in January she started working her first job and started contributing to the household by sending all the money she earned into my account and I took care of everything.
Fast forward a couple of months in late April she got a job at Hooters. Everything was going good until about a few weeks in. She had made friends with two girls and a friend group that would come in frequently to shoot pool. I trusted this girl entirely, I thought we were inseparable. She was all over me with affection, I was to her, we were looking at buying a home together and getting our futures established. I viewed a home with her and she loved it, called her mother and told her how excited she was. Two days later, she hangs out with her friends and doesn't text me or come home until after I fell asleep at midnight. This was very unusual for her but I let it slide because I was happy she was finally having friends after being cooped up with me for a year and no social life. I woke up the next morning kind of annoyed, she tried to hug me and I just laid on her and then left to work. The next day she did the same thing, said she was going to get her nails done and go to top golf, I send her the money and she goes out to have fun. This time she was out really late again and when I woke up at 3:30 A.m she wasn't home. I panicked and thought the worst may have happened to her. I called her and she picked up, said she was outside in the parking lot. She came up after sitting out there for about 30 minutes and I had a sit down talk with her about her unusual behavior. She sat quietly and listened and just stared off into space.
After my speech was finished, she sat there on the couch in silence for about 15 minutes. She finally looked at me and said, "for the past month I have lost feelings for you, I am no longer in love with you and don't see us working out long term." I was shocked...Just about 5 days ago we were celebrating my birthday having a great time, and just two days earlier she was calling her mother all excited about the home we viewed. I was devastated. I went into my room and cried like a bitch into my pillow and she was balling saying she was sorry and she was gonna go stay at her friends house.
The next day my sadness turned into anger and I suspended her phone line. She immediately transferred 1k out of my account that I couldn't stop and then attempted a 10,000 wire transfer that I thankfully blocked. An entire week went by going at each others throats over the money, back and forth with the vehicle I bought her, and she came over grabbed all her shit and I got her off the lease.
About a week and a half goes by of hardly any contact and she sends me a message on facebook with pictures of her crying and that she quit her job at hooters and has lost everything. That she was in love with me and made a terrible mistake and was under a bad influence with the new friend group. And that she wants me back but said there was something that could prevent that from happening. She told me she was sleeping with a guy just for a place to stay and was using him only for shelter and begged for forgiveness. That she wanted to run away to a different place with me and start over. I said no thanks and she then did the whole I'm gonna kill myself spill. So at this point I am hurt, I get emotional and told her I cheated on her twice at the beginning of our relationship. She immediately went on an insult tirade and blocked me. This was 5 days ago.
I know the guy she is seeing is verbally abusive and she told my sister about it all. My sister is 100% convinced she will not last with him. I reached out to her the day she blocked me with a love email and told her I am willing to forgive and forget if she will and we can fix this. Her only response was if she can get some crap out of my apartment so she can take to the new dudes house when she gets back from her trip. She fled to her family in florida after she sent me all those messages because I sent them to her friends and the guy she was staying with. She left with one luggage and all of her stuff is at the new guys house.
So guys, this is what I am struggling with. I feel like deep down she is still in love with me, but she feels I did her wrong financially, I cheated on her, and she would have to face my family and her new situation if she were to come back home. At the same time, she did this to me with no knowledge I cheated on her. She did it so abruptly, after being really affectionate with me. I have lost feelings for a woman before and my actions were the opposite. I distanced myself and gave her no affection. She didn't do that with me. she was trying to hug and kiss me two days prior to the breakup. she told me she was testing me with it and that I just brushed her off, which I did because I was agitated with what she was doing at the time. I don't know what to think or believe. Part of me thinks she is just young, she is 20, and she is just confused and this new guy and group have changed her and put a barrier up and deep down this isnt her. but then another part of me says it is impossible to do that to somebody you are in love with.
At this time I have broke contact with her in every way. I feel like she wont reach out to me until she comes back from her trip and to the new guy and hits rock bottom when she realizes they wont last. Or maybe she will never reach out to me again. I am willing to forgive her and move forward with her during her time out there but if she goes back to that guys place I can't take her back. I have been severely depressed with this situation and have already last 20 pounds in less than two weeks as I have barely eaten. I am so hurt by this it wont leave my head, I don't know what to do. I am so confused. Just a month ago she was telling me in the shower if I died before her she would kill herself and just a week prior she was telling my family she wanted to get married. Half my family thinks she is confused and isn't being herself and is easily influenced and will come back. The other half says she didn't love me. How could she go from super affectionate and enjoying our time together to such an abrupt stop that nobody saw coming?
What do you guys think?
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