Pulling out my hair! Very upset and in need of help.

[phil88]

He says my pussy is 'strong' and grips him, so I don't think it is about tightness.

In a guys mind I dont think we hear why not? or what dont you enjoy? I think what we hear is "What is wrong with you?"

Now this was enlightening! Never crossed my mind.

Thats good. The other reason I mentioned would theoretically be easier to fix. He wants to be sure that you care about what he desires and needs. A mans lack of communicative skills would mean action not words is what is needed to reassure him.

I sort of went through something similiar with a girl who refused to give head. The fact that she was willing to go against her principles in order to get a response out of me (extreme pleasure in this case) really said i was more then just another cock for her to fuck. It said something special about me, that she was willing to do that. My wants and desires overrode hers. lol its an ego thing.....

[mistydawn]

Thats good. The other reason I mentioned would theoretically be easier to fix. He wants to be sure that you care about what he desires and needs. A mans lack of communicative skills would mean action not words is what is needed to reassure him.

I sort of went through something similiar with a girl who refused to give head. The fact that she was willing to go against her principles in order to get a response out of me (extreme pleasure in this case) really said i was more then just another cock for her to fuck. It said something special about me, that she was willing to do that. My wants and desires overrode hers. lol its an ego thing.....

Anal sex is painful for me. I did it in the past for a man and I have been disgusted with myself for doing that. What comes into my mind is 'you want to degrade and humiliate me'. That is what I hear when a guy says he wants to screw my ass. I also think the guy is watching too much porn.

[phil88]

lol both very possible. Do not focus on the fact he wants anal lol, focus on the reason why. He wants you to do something special for him, something he thinks would go against your code, something that is a reflection on the relationship between you two and how much you value it. He wants you to sacrifice something for him, as a way of saying its real. He could also be pushing your bounds to see if you will accept him for what he believes he is (from what i gather his opinion of himself is even lower then the one you have of him). Men do that, we are really, really screwed up lol.

[DemOne]

Titty, I have no doubt that you are correct. I just feel I should not waste time and money going there for 1 sexual encounter and maybe more if he feels like it. I am going to see himnot really my family, does that not show him that I do this for him, to be with him? I go to see him and visit my family!

The way I read that, it would not show him, nor any man, that you're going there for him. It shows that you're going there for yourself, not him. Before you even get in the car to drive there, it's clear you're only going with the intentions of having sex. If you were going there for him and not just for your own sexual fantasies/needs, there never would be this whole feeling of it being a waste of time and money for you to go there and have sex only once.

If you were going there for him, it should not matter if you have no sex, or sex multiple times every day you're there.

If he indeed does want more than just sex, there being a set amount of times you two have to have sex for you to go up there would make him feel used. Guys don't want to have sex 24/7 nor be told when they have to have sex.

[somebodyelse]

The way I read that, it would not show him, nor any man, that you're going there for him. It shows that you're going there for yourself, not him. Before you even get in the car to drive there, it's clear you're only going with the intentions of having sex. If you were going there for him and not just for your own sexual fantasies/needs, there never would be this whole feeling of it being a waste of time and money for you to go there and have sex only once.

If you were going there for him, it should not matter if you have no sex, or sex multiple times every day you're there.

If he indeed does want more than just sex, there being a set amount of times you two have to have sex for you to go up there would make him feel used. Guys don't want to have sex 24/7 nor be told when they have to have sex.

Exactly...

[ErictheGed]

What i was really trying to say i suppose Misty is if i was him i would've pulled the plug on this deal long ago. In a previous thread you basically said there was absolutely no chance of this guy being boyfriend material, and i got the impression then that you aren't even really interested in what he has to say.

All this stuff about it being "worth your while", i mean what? And you said a few posts back that you only saw each other a 4th time because he didn't cum the 3rd time? You guys might as well draw up a contract! Guys want a cool, easy-going set-up, but you have turned having sex with this dude into a military operation. The appeal is probably starting to be lost on him.

Thats where i think the anal sex thing comes in- certain types of guy, when they percieve a chick as "desperate", will lose respect for her and will just see her as something to abuse and degrade- exactly as you said above. And the way you were talking about the kind of guys in your life on another thread yesterday i would not be surprised if this one is now thinking "you know what- if this chicks gonna keep pestering me about this, i'm gonna get myself some anal out of it."

Sorry to sound nasty Misty but you have to go through this thread and listen to YOURSELF, not anyone else. The way you're talking about this whole thing is unbelieveable. The ONLY thing you seem to like about this guy is the fact he makes you cum. Can you not maybe find someone A) closer to home, and B) that you think you could possibly have a future with?? And forget all about this one.

[GTO]

The way I read that, it would not show him, nor any man, that you're going there for him. It shows that you're going there for yourself, not him. Before you even get in the car to drive there, it's clear you're only going with the intentions of having sex. If you were going there for him and not just for your own sexual fantasies/needs, there never would be this whole feeling of it being a waste of time and money for you to go there and have sex only once.

If you were going there for him, it should not matter if you have no sex, or sex multiple times every day you're there.

If he indeed does want more than just sex, there being a set amount of times you two have to have sex for you to go up there would make him feel used. Guys don't want to have sex 24/7 nor be told when they have to have sex.

And the dark clouds part and the rays of sunlight shine down on this quote ... read and take heed!!!!

[rimlas]

Sorry to sound nasty Misty but you have to go through this thread and listen to YOURSELF, not anyone else. The way you're talking about this whole thing is unbelieveable.

I agree, all I hear is "me me me me me me". Eric's post shouldn't be ignored.

[GTO]

The way you're talking about this whole thing is unbelieveable. The ONLY thing you seem to like about this guy is the fact he makes you cum. Can you not maybe find someone A) closer to home, and B) that you think you could possibly have a future with?? And forget all about this one.

While it may not be the case, this sure does ring true with the what's being relayed ... Excellent point Eric

[mistydawn]

I wrote my friend this email yesterday:
I'm sorry if I came across strong concerning the number of times I wanted to see you. I've thought about this and understand your uneasiness. I know you don't want to hurt me by not being able to follow through. I misunderstood that it wasn't negotiable and I continued to try. If you could have seen me you would have seen I was being lite hearted and just thought we could work something out. You cannot tell that in text unfortunately.
>Misty

His response:
Good morning Misty,
Everything is negotiable. Lol

I don't have a clue how to take this. He made it clear he wasn't gonna budge, no contracts. WTF?