She gave her phone to a...friend?

[clockwise Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close clockwise]

Hey,

So yesterday my girl tells me that some one hit on her and she said she has a boyfriend... but the dude didn't give up and said: "well.. lets just be friends?" and she gave him her number cause he is "cute"... Later on she told me he sent her a massage asking her out...

So... with this information in hand I told her she was crossing the limit here.. I mean.. I don't mind her having "friends" but not the kind that hit on her and then ask her out... we had a fight over this and I didn't give up on this issue because when I had some female friends she freaked out about it!

What do you guys think? did I overreact?

[Boitim2 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Boitim2]

I agree with you on this.

hmmm she can you cant? something is wrong there!

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

... and she gave him her number cause he is "cute"...

... when I had some female friends she freaked out about it! ...

She's bang out of order. Right with you, bro.

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

Out of line. especially if she said he's "Cute"

and if she wigged out about female friends, you're standing on very sturdy ground to be upset.

I'm very fair minded... if you do something to me, expect it done back to you.

[willo012 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close willo012]

dude if that was my girl I would have rected the same way!! I dont like my girl having any dude friends andshe understands so neither of us have friends who are the opposite sex and everything has been working out perfectly for us

[Dragon1981 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dragon1981]

You reacted accordingly

I would of reacted the same. You did nothing wrong clockwise.
I guess maybe the reason why she got upset because she thinks you don't trust her?
But the actual fact is maybe you don't trust him!.....
Either way if she reacted a similar way to you in a similar situation, then she shouldn't expect double standards.
I'm with you clockwise.

Hope everything end A OK!

[robmypro Member Find all posts View Profile Close robmypro]

Time to get some new female friends imo.

[papaki Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close papaki]

the next week if you split up she is going to hang out with that guy and after that you will probably learn she fucks with him.I had learned the words friends and cute from my prebious girl and what I understood is that she was turned on by him all that time she spoke to me about being friends.So cut the line of that friendship or find another girl to not feel uncomfortable of what is going on...

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Her actions towards him and her willingness to accept his phone number was a complete and total disregard for your relationship and a sign of disrespect towards you and what you two have.

She owes you an apology and if she sees nothing wrong with what she did, then maybe she's better off at the curb?

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

dude if that was my girl I would have rected the same way!! I dont like my girl having any dude friends andshe understands so neither of us have friends who are the opposite sex and everything has been working out perfectly for us

OK, I'm just curious about this. Suppose when you met her, she already HAD guy friends that were just friends. Would you insist that she sever ties with those guy friends?

[NP97 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close NP97]

It's a control issue. I had that with an ex, my buddy I work with has this issue right now too.
Basically you're trying to trust her. Her saying he is cute and him asking her out is effed. A friend is a friend.... but to be honest I'm sure she just loves the extra attention of another dude liking her.

My girlfriend has dudes asking her out all the time, especially since we aren't near eachother... at all.
She tends to just laugh, from what she told me, and tell them she's taken. IF they persist she just walks away or ignores them. She has lots of guy friends too... and it doesn't bother me. She isn't even bothered by my girl friends, even the one I know likes me.

Either way.... she likes the attention but wants you to be her focus. You will NOT win that argument with a girl... ever.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

No you didn't over react.

If i am in a relationship and a guy hits on me.. i would not be giving his my phone number no matter how attracted to him i was if i was committed to my partner.. if the guy was persistent and kept pushing i would get his phone number ..and then throw it away when he wasn't looking.. i would not give him mine so he could pursue things with me further.


she said he was cute and he was hitting on her and pursuing her despite a boyfriend.
she gave him her phone number which is basically saying to the guy "i am interested." and want to keep my options open with you.

there shouldn't be a double standard, and i know if i had a boyfriend who gave his number to a hot girl and said i just want to be friends.. my alarm bells would be going off..esp if the girl had been hitting on him

[Gravik Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gravik]

Or a girl can be cruel and give him her digits but leave out the very last number so like 205-205-209

[Jackxxx Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Jackxxx]

I was going to say that girls, specially young, are stupid by lack of experience. They believe everything a guy tells them. Based on that, if she is young and conservative, I wouldn't be worried because just using good faith and trust, she gave her number to have just a friend.

However, if she freaks out when you have female friends, then it's a whole different story. She knows exactly what she is doing. There is a reason why she doesn't like you to have female friends. Because she is somebody else female friend and she knows what female friends do.

Start looking around. There are billions of females created as a gift for men. The ones who take care of themselves and are fit and pretty with implants and everything, deserve all the love in the world. No need to stick to just one of them.

[den15 Member Find all posts View Profile Close den15]

Please understand that I'm just giving you advice from my past experience and that you don't have to act upon any information I have provided here. I know that relationship issues are really hard to understand. Especially where your feelings for each other are and whether you guys are on the same page. With all this said and done, I'd like to say...

What she did was wrong. You're in the right man, but starting an argument with her?? By showing her that you are jealous, and getting into this argument, you are practically saying that you don't trust her and because she told you about this, I dunno whether before or after getting the date (which matters), this has offsets the balance of your relationship.

If she told you some time during your initial meeting or chatting, then it's because she wants you to know about what is going on and that she knows she did something wrong and wants to correct it. If she told after you found out, or when the other guy has text her and you asked her, then she could be hiding it from you. Sorry to say this but this means she is keeping the options open and is interested in the other guy. Her saying that the guy is cute shows this interest. Leaving her alone will cause her to turn to the first person to comfort her, because lets face it, girls love to talk. Which in this case has a high percentage of being this guy.

This is how I think this story will go if you don't correct this immediately.
You stop talking to her for a few days, because you guys had this fight. She will turn to many people. Let say this guy will be "there" for her. He takes her out and they have a lot of fun, because that's a typical first and second and third date. You guys will talk again, but you both probably won't do anything fun. Comes down to this:
Being with you = No fun, arguments, negative feelings
Being with him = fun, no arguments, new experience, positive feelings

She'll eventually break it off with you to be with this other guy.
He'll eventually break it off with her because it would seem that he's a player. (asking her for her number even though she already had a bf) Then she'll come back to you or you would have moved on. This is just a rough outline, I'm sure you could fill in the details with your imagination.

If you like her enough, try to correct this immediately. Don't let this argument stop you two from talking, because I guarantee you, she's not only talking about it to her friends, she's probably telling the world what kind of jerk you are because YOU have trust issues. They always find a way to make you the bad guy. ALWAYS

Tell her that you want to chat about it, also tell her that you've overreacted because you like her a lot (even though you didn't) try putting her in the situation, by asking her that if a girl got your number even after you've told her you got a gf or asked you on a date or you asked a girl for her number how would she feel. (If she says she wouldn't care, then she's lieing, but you'll just have to bare with it because she's just trying to protect her decision.)
And yes, you asking a girl is the same category as him asking her, because it's the same intentions: being friends.

If you can put her in this situation, more power to you, because jealousy is strong feeling. Knowing that the moment she leaves you, that you're able to pick up another chick to replace her says a lot and she'll probably understand exactly where you are coming from and even though she will be jealous. This let's her know that you're not going to put up with her sh*t, and also if she doesn't want a monotonous relationship, that you'll be OK with it, because you can pick up other chicks too and because you don't need to be wasting your time with any of her bullsh*t.

You need to restore the balance of your relationship. If you lack confidence, at least fake that you have it and to her you will. What you don't want is to be doing is crying and telling her that she's the only one for you, and that you'll go crazy without her. This sh*t never works but is often played in movies. This is reality, and you need to restore the power balance between the both of you.

I think in relationships, it's not breaking up that is what we are afraid of, it's starting over.

"We need to talk" is usually a great way to start a conversation with the girlfriend. It's always used on us guys, and we can also use it too, but don't. We usually associate this sentence with breaking up or pregnancy.

With all of that said, Always try to have a plan and Good Luck

Den15