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  • I'm starting to have doubts about my relationship

    My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 15 months now and I love her to death but she's been really controlling lately and she's always getting mad at me over the tiniest things.

    The whole controlling thing started probably back around 10 months ago where she would get mad at me if I hungout with these two guys who used to drink and smoke (I was the one who got them to stop). A few months later she started getting mad at me for going to my sister's track meets. Then this past summer she let me know that she hated it when I hungout with my best friend but she still tells me she doesn't mind me hanging out with him. I now know that is a huge load of BS.

    This is what I think is totally ridiculous though. Around 2 weeks ago, I went over to my cousins house cuz I hadn't seen her and her husband in a long time. I had a great time just watching tv and eating pizza with them. The next day my girlfriend asks me what I did and I told her I went over there and then she freaks out on me for chosing another girl over her. I was in shock because I told her she was my cousin but then she said "I dont care, you would get so pissed off if I went and hungout with another guy." I told her I would but not if it was her cousin or other relative.

    Well everything got cleared up from that but a few days ago I was with her at her house and was looking at her facebook and saw she was messaging this guy in her anatomy class and saw her say "we really need to go to [mexican restaraunt] soon ). I got really angry with that because it was the same day that I was over at my cousins house but she tells me she had no intensions of actually going with him and that I overreacted. This still bugs me and she doesn't care whatsoever.

    Oh and I almost forgot. something. I told her last night my best friend and his family is taking me paintballing today for my christmas gift and I asked if she she was angry and she said "sure. gotta go. bye."

    I do really care about my girlfriend but I am starting to have so many doubts and thoughts of her wanting to be with other guys. Does anybody have some advice for me?

  • #2
    Ahh, this reminds me of what I went through a while back.
    Basically the only thing you're allowed to do is be with her. Can't even glance at other women and if you have a friend that is a girl... oh god, don't talk to her.
    Now SHE is allowed to talk to whomever and flirt with anyone she wants. Anything she does is okay but if you have fun without her it's a no, no.

    Now, you're gonna get the thoughts and doubts. If you want to be happy with her you just have to put them out of your mind. The thing is, can you really be happy with someone that gets pissed at you for having fun? Especially since she gets pissed at you for being with your family. You have to think about that more than her talking to other guys.
    Starting Size (09/2009): ~7"BPEL x ~5" MSEG
    Most Recent Measurement (08/13/2012): 8"BPEL x 5.5"MSEG
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    • #3
      I was in one of these relationships years back too and the best thing I ever did was break it off. Her being controlling like that and doing whatever she wants means she doesn't respect you or your wishes and sounds like a selfish b.i.t.c.h. When a girl is controlling theres manipulation also, the two go hand in hand. I recommend you weigh up the relationship status, so how does she make you feel, is she encouraging to you, does she build you up, do you trust her, does she trust you, does she have selective memory, is she quick to go against you, are you really happy etc. I mean if you spend alot of your time thinking of ways to win an argument to make her see and prove a point then that ain't right and is too much stress and if you win she probably isn't going to care anyways.

      The right girl is meant to make you feel good about yourself and make you proud shes your girl.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by justadude View Post
        I was in one of these relationships years back too and the best thing I ever did was break it off. Her being controlling like that and doing whatever she wants means she doesn't respect you or your wishes and sounds like a selfish b.i.t.c.h. When a girl is controlling theres manipulation also, the two go hand in hand. I recommend you weigh up the relationship status, so how does she make you feel, is she encouraging to you, does she build you up, do you trust her, does she trust you, does she have selective memory, is she quick to go against you, are you really happy etc. I mean if you spend alot of your time thinking of ways to win an argument to make her see and prove a point then that ain't right and is too much stress and if you win she probably isn't going to care anyways.

        The right girl is meant to make you feel good about yourself and make you proud shes your girl.
        If I can be honest for a minute... you're dating a selfish bitch, I dated a girl just like her for far too long and guess what? Once you dump her and you should immediately take this as a learning experience at what you DON'T WANT from a girl. Only when you date a girl who is a true partner will you realize what a nightmare your current GF is!
        carcajou
        Member
        Last edited by carcajou; 12-26-2011, 04:57 PM.
        4/1/2010 Beginning BPEL-6.2"/EG-5.2"
        Current BPEL-8.75"/EG-6.5"
        Goal- BPEL-9.0"/EG-6.5"

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        • #5
          Dude, think VERY carefully before going any further with her. As was said above, she doesn't respect you, doesn't care WHAT is important to you and while I hate to say it, she sounds EXACTLY like the witch I dated last year and broke it off with. She did things that were IDENTICAL to what your gf is currently doing to you. You don't need that shit bro...........move on and kick her to the curb. If you're having doubts about the two of you, take notice. The doubts didn't just appear out of nowhere.......
          It's a tough job being good looking and hung :-)

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          • #6
            Originally posted by NP97 View Post
            Ahh, this reminds me of what I went through a while back.
            Basically the only thing you're allowed to do is be with her. Can't even glance at other women and if you have a friend that is a girl... oh god, don't talk to her.
            Now SHE is allowed to talk to whomever and flirt with anyone she wants. Anything she does is okay but if you have fun without her it's a no, no.

            Now, you're gonna get the thoughts and doubts. If you want to be happy with her you just have to put them out of your mind. The thing is, can you really be happy with someone that gets pissed at you for having fun? Especially since she gets pissed at you for being with your family. You have to think about that more than her talking to other guys.
            Man I think I might be dating your ex...I know what you're saying though. I think I'm just going to have a talk with her and if she choses not to change then I guess that's it for her and I.

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            • #7
              break it off now, save yourself the stress... it sounds like your best option is to end it and move forward. Your ladies issues are deeply rooted and you should let her know her behaviors a turn off and that's why you can't be with her anymore, it's highly unlikely she'll make the changes your looking for. If my girl was trying to rendezvous with dudes behind my back, that would be it. Trust is key, and your relationship is lacking it in major ways. If your girl is really down for you, you would know it. Sounds unhealthy to me my dude

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              • #8
                All I see is you spending time with others and not her. If you are seeing these other people without inviting her or scheduling it so she can go with then she is feeling left out. If you are doing these visits while she is at work or school that's different.

                15 months is a long time to just toss her because for her to all of the sudden have insecurities there is lack of communication on both parts.

                Good luck
                The Dick is the Best Toy Ever!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by islander View Post
                  All I see is you spending time with others and not her. If you are seeing these other people without inviting her or scheduling it so she can go with then she is feeling left out. If you are doing these visits while she is at work or school that's different.

                  15 months is a long time to just toss her because for her to all of the sudden have insecurities there is lack of communication on both parts.

                  Good luck
                  I'm with her almost every day of the week and if she goes out with her friends, I usually sit at home waiting for her to get back. Also, I have invited her to every family get together and she chooses not to go and she always says she doesn't want to go.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Raider View Post
                    I'm with her almost every day of the week and if she goes out with her friends, I usually sit at home waiting for her to get back. Also, I have invited her to every family get together and she chooses not to go and she always says she doesn't want to go.
                    Raider, she should WANT to be with you, irrespective of where you are. Her refusal to go to family events even after being asked to go.............that's messed up. I didn't start doing that stuff until well after I was married and I would only not go to certain family functions because I didn't want my daughter (she was 2 at the time) around one of her older female cousins because I felt this cousin was a bad influence on her. Other than that, I always went. I think you know what you need to do my man.........
                    It's a tough job being good looking and hung :-)

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                    • #11
                      Something changed. Think about what did and talk about it. That's very difficult to be with someone that doesn't want to be around your family ( assuming they are not drinkers, drug users etc)
                      Good luck to you
                      The Dick is the Best Toy Ever!

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                      • #12
                        Thanks guys, I'll let you know what happens.

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                        • #13
                          Raider, RUN! Don't walk.

                          It goes beyond just being controlling. She wants to isolate you.

                          She is also projecting her own insecurities on you. She is accusing you of choosing another girl over her, yet she is making plans for dinner with another guy.

                          You have many sad days ahead it you stay with her.

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                          • #14
                            Wow! You all gave Raider some really good advice, wish i was on this forum before i met my gf/ex gf or even in the early stages, she did exactly that, getting angry about small stuff, very skillful in a controlling way, attempted isolation in a different way - using physiology, she even used guilt, just like someone above i realised she was making plans with other guys etc, even had a relationship going on when things were rough and another when on a 'break', I was goin 2 break up with her because thats just not healthy plus the STD factor {biggest concern}.....So Raider good luck man.
                            ___________________________________________
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                            BPEL= 6.4 inches {curved to left}
                            EG= 5.4 inches
                            BPFSL=
                            FG=
                            ------
                            Short Term GOAL
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                            • #15
                              Dump that bitch!!!

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