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  • I suck @ Relationships thread

    Wow, another failed relationship for me.

    4 months this time.

    good for me.

    I spoiled her.

    I was HER first sexual partner.

    insecure b/c she never emotionally invested, nor showed affection, nor did she initiate seeing me. I had to push for it all.

    she backed out with cold feet b/c it was too much too soon.

    but, she wanted the friendship.

    i like a pussy gave it.

    i suck @ relationships.

    we haven't talked since the breakup the morning of the day after new years
    Dante311
    Senior Member
    Last edited by Dante311; 01-03-2012, 06:55 PM.
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  • #2
    Well, meditate. Find your center. Discover something new about yourself. That will be better than a therapy. Hey it's worth a try and it's free.
    Future owner of a glorious cock.

    I'll call it, the thunder dragon.

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    • #3
      Dante... maybe stay away from women for a while. Focus on yourself and being the best you can. Make yourself happy and make sure you just be you. Eventually a good woman will find you.
      Starting Size (09/2009): ~7"BPEL x ~5" MSEG
      Most Recent Measurement (08/13/2012): 8"BPEL x 5.5"MSEG
      Final Goal: When I'm told to stop.
      http://www.towelaroundtheworld.com/#/us

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      • #4
        I think indefinitely.
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        • #5
          Have you personally changed since the last 3 relationships? I mean have you become more personally developed?

          The only reason i say the above is because i know people who go from one person to another to another and it always falls apart. It seems they don't learn anything and are the same person the whole time. Its like there is you.

          Don't say you suck at relationships because that will make it true.

          Stay away from women for awhile and work on yourself. Im not saying its you, im just saying that taking a break and just focusing on yourself will allow you to attract different women.
          Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

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          • #6
            This was a different woman.

            albeit, a very inexperienced one who didn't show affection, nor emotion. And when I tried to get her to open up... and contemplate the idea of compromising time to see me, b/c that's what a relationship is... she became frustrated, scared... and is hiding at home now with her family and friends.

            she is younger than I am used to dating, and no, she's not jailbait.

            I'm wondering... she wanted to be friends (I feel she is being selfish and self-conscious because of her age)... she wants me in her life still. If I give it a week or 2... she'll miss me, just a bit... enough that I can ask her opinion on us... I want to believe I didn't waste my time with her, but the more I don't hear from her, the more I begin to believe I did. I am wanting to tell her she can't have her friendship, it's selfish of her to want it.. I refuse to give her her cake and let her eat it too. I am going to cut my ties/losses, financial and emotional, and move on.

            I mean seriously... how often, irrelevant of the breakoff (even if this one wasn't truly broken, moreso she was scared of the idea of a real relationship (me being her first) ... and meeting my needs, as I did hers, that couples reconcile? Hardly ever, from what I know. That shit only works in the movies.

            I spoke with a therapist. He told me I said relatively healthy, other than a guy who sounds like he's going through a breakup.

            He was curious WHY I gave into the friendship after I immediately, and harshly said NO to her. My idea, being the friendship, was to play the role of building a friendship with her (b/c behind every good friendship is a solid relationship)... and since there were already romantic feelings there, which I believe will always linger, if I can be strong emotionally and control my behaviors and build this friendship... re-earning her trust, perhaps those romantic feelings will muster deep inside her. As the therapist put it, she may revert into the feelings for me again, as this is a common pattern in relationships... push/pull. I pushed (not too hard to get her to kick me out of her life), she wasn't ready and pulled away... if I can stay at a safe distance and control my wants/needs in the relationship and fulfill hers (for this friendship b/c she is ever so scared of losing me, or me hating her, which subconsciously I feel may be the same thing in her mind, but she doesn't recognize it - this because she's so young and inexperienced).... her feelings may draw back to me and with the friendship, can build a new chapter in a relationship. One that is stronger.

            This is a dream, though, and will take a lot of work and effort on my part to maintain it... and it won't be easy. He told me it isn't definite, but it's highly plausible... a 50/50 shot that could set me up for failure and hurt...

            so we'll see what I decide to do.

            I'm still deciding if I want to tell the girl to go fuck herself. In a nicer manner, though.
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            • #7
              I figure, I'll just message her on friday since we're still on speaking terms and ask her if we can talk about "us". Let her know to me, this wasn't a waste, and that I want to work through this bump in the road and not call it quits just yet.

              if she says no, I'm going to just say goodbye right there. This friendship isn't worth it to me. It'll hurt too much.

              i'm an emotional, caring, sensitive guy... as much as I look the exact opposite.
              A Bigger Beginning w/ Dante311 - Log
              NEW LOG!

              May '15 - 6.9" BP
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              • #8
                here's the thing. If you invest anything before she does, it's recipe for disaster. You never really know what to expect out of a relationship. One should never spoil their partner. Only be absolutely genuine with them. Be honest and change the way you think so your honesty is REAL honesty. Not your version of Honesty.

                When you "spoil" a woman who doesn't deserve it you have to keep it up... eventually she looses respect for you and doesn't treat you the same. Being honest means being real. if you don't like how she's been acting lately, tell her. Don't give her treats or special treatment just because she's a girl. No girl wants to be treated like a princess, or spoiled. They tell you that, but what it does is teach them to not respect you much. There's no passion in getting everything they want.

                Do NOT call and/or contact her.

                That's a period... do not initiate ANY contact. It'll hurt like hell, for a while, but when you finally get over the hump that's when you can do whatever you want.

                As far as the friendship. It's only worth it if SHE wants it. Most women say "lets just be friends" to spare your feelings. she'd rather not see or talk to you anymore. That whole thing is over, as such it's time to move on.

                The most effective way to show someone that they screwed up, is to move on without a care. If it looks like you can forget them easily, they'll soon wonder if they ever meant anything to you.

                What i've found is that women generally operate on Reverse Psychology. That's the BEST way to work with women. It's illogical to most of us guys. Pretend like you don't care, and they'll claw at you. Treat'em like they don't mean much and they'll stick to you like glue. Give them just a little morsel of affection and they'll tear your clothes off.

                Now that's for every day younger girls. quality women aren't as dumb as those girls.

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                • #9
                  hm, you are obviously experienced and more rational than I am at the moment.

                  can I just defacebook her and her sister and move on. She asked for the friendship, but she can't have her cake and eat it too...
                  I gave in after saying no. I regret that. We were never friends before...
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                  • #10
                    lol, I honestly thought she was different. Fuck my life
                    A Bigger Beginning w/ Dante311 - Log
                    NEW LOG!

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                    • #11
                      facebook is the devil!

                      I'd just unfriend her her sister, all her friends and all her family.

                      do it quietly and walk away. Nothing else...

                      I tried the whole "talk to friends and family" thing. Family stands up for family, no matter how wrong that family member is. Truth. let it go.


                      The best revenge is the be happy and move on. You don't win by being rational with other people... you win by being rational with yourself. Rationality is relative to the situation. If your rational thoughts are irrational to someone else, you both will not see eye to eye...

                      Rationally, to you, it makes sense to work it out because you care. Rationally it doesn't make sense for her because she can't bring herself to care as much as you. You have to take the L and move on.

                      Look at yourself. If you feel like all you have to offer is an exterior, you really need to evaluate your self worth. I hate it when guys say "I'm relatively good looking" You have a false confidence. That shows up when women stick around you for any period of time.

                      You need to recenter and refocus on you and finding your inner peace. Once you have inner peace the women will come that aren't about games

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by somebodyelse View Post
                        facebook is the devil!

                        I'd just unfriend her her sister, all her friends and all her family.

                        do it quietly and walk away. Nothing else...

                        I tried the whole "talk to friends and family" thing. Family stands up for family, no matter how wrong that family member is. Truth. let it go.


                        The best revenge is the be happy and move on. You don't win by being rational with other people... you win by being rational with yourself. Rationality is relative to the situation. If your rational thoughts are irrational to someone else, you both will not see eye to eye...

                        Rationally, to you, it makes sense to work it out because you care. Rationally it doesn't make sense for her because she can't bring herself to care as much as you. You have to take the L and move on.

                        Look at yourself. If you feel like all you have to offer is an exterior, you really need to evaluate your self worth. I hate it when guys say "I'm relatively good looking" You have a false confidence. That shows up when women stick around you for any period of time.

                        You need to recenter and refocus on you and finding your inner peace. Once you have inner peace the women will come that aren't about games
                        oh, la la.

                        this one seriously let me down. Thanks for the advice. The only reason I'd expect her to come around is her inexperience, and I was her first. I'm thinking, if I don't hear from her by sat or sun... To do just that. Nix the fb friendships. Prior to T and me, there was no real friendship. It sucks I spoiled her. I failed. I just want to give up. We were in a study group together, but I'm sure I can get past that
                        A Bigger Beginning w/ Dante311 - Log
                        NEW LOG!

                        May '15 - 6.9" BP
                        GOAL - 7.5 BP

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                        • #13
                          well, this shit got me peing again. Shower wet jelqs, then 10 min of stretching. I need to revamp my pe routine.

                          I wish shed come back...
                          A Bigger Beginning w/ Dante311 - Log
                          NEW LOG!

                          May '15 - 6.9" BP
                          GOAL - 7.5 BP

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                          • #14
                            Try to stay positive. It's probably not about you at all. It does help in relationships to have a developed personality. I am not saying that you don't. Some interesting partof you that attracts others as well as making yourself happy is a great asset-humbly of course. Do you play a sport well? Do you excel academically? What are YOUR interests?
                            Consciousness and intention matter here.

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                            • #15
                              sweetie, I'm in med school. Meeting/bldg a relationship is hard. I am very fit, tall... So Bodybuilding is my thing.
                              A Bigger Beginning w/ Dante311 - Log
                              NEW LOG!

                              May '15 - 6.9" BP
                              GOAL - 7.5 BP

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