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  • How do you cope?

    Hi, everybody.

    I'll try to keep it on point.
    I'm in my early 20's, I've tried the whole PE concept various times in the past with almost no success. Even though, you might say I'm average (around 5.5 inches), this issue has been the center of the Universe of my worries. I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but my shaft looks "childish", I have myself checked- hormonally and medically everything is OK. It looks like very little has changed after puberty, also I have the smallest size of testicles that is considered normal. When it comes down to looks, my body tends to store fat around the belly and I don't have muscular body type, but I'm not fat either. I'm not social misfit, I have friends and I hang around various social circles and I have sense of style and pop culture.

    I'm good at my career and anything I put my mind to, except dating. I have done extensive research on the science behind mating and the conclusion that I came up with is, that there is a genetic predetermination to what kind of mates are gonna be attracted to you, and vice versa. It seems that testicle size is in relation with your dating strategy ('promiscuous', 'monogamous', 'mixed'). I don't have problem (used to have) with (only) being in one to few long term relationships in my lifetime, but I do have with the choice I'm "offered" for a mate.

    My question is, how do you cope with dating someone, that you don't find attractive (intellectually and/or physically). It's like being in prison for life, nothing you do will change the situation you're in, how do you cope with that? So far I think is far better to be alone, than to be with someone you have no interest in, and my life experience shows that sooner or later you'll(I'll) have to pick up some girl from that pool.

    I'm asking you this because I want to challenge my theories and beliefs, so your answers will be greatly appreciated.

  • #2
    Maybe you just think to much. If I was you I would stop reading whatever it is you're reading. You date a girl you like, not one based on the size of your nuts. Doing so will make you nuts!
    The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

    Comment


    • #3
      I don't really know what to tell you about the relationship stuff other than don't settle for someone you have no attraction for. I think I have rather small testicles and used to think my penis looked somewhat child like also, mainly because I thought it looked too thin so your not alone in feeling that way.
      Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Ben Franklin, 1775.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by CUSP82 View Post
        Maybe you just think to much. If I was you I would stop reading whatever it is you're reading. You date a girl you like, not one based on the size of your nuts. Doing so will make you nuts!
        Ahahah being nuts over your nuts...

        Back to OP

        I think you got that right when you said:
        Originally posted by RealBiggieSmalls View Post
        So far I think is far better to be alone, than to be with someone you have no interest in, and my life experience shows that sooner or later you'll(I'll) have to pick up some girl from that pool.
        It's definitely better to be with someone you like and find attractive and share common interests (that's a lot right? ) than to be with someone just to be in a relationship! There is ABSOLUTELY no point in dating someone if it's not because you're interested in her!

        In my part of the world we say :
        "Better alone than in bad company" (I don't know if there is an equivalent in english).

        Don't think too much! Everything will come to you one day, you just have to give it a little help sometimes.
        The girls I've dated were all girls I met by chance...

        And you don't get girls based on your balls' size! That's just ridiculous! You don't spend all your time showing your balls to people now do you? So people don't see you for your nuts but for what you project! If your show them confidence, you'll attract girls (hot and not)!

        It's all about self-confidence : girls aren't really attracted to guys because of their body/looks/dick size but because of their self-confidence (that's what I have learned with my experience).
        04/11/11: BPEL 6.97'' / MEG 4.88''
        04/11/12: BPEL 7.80'' / MEG 5.39''
        04/11/13: BPEL 7.95'' / MEG 5.39''
        04/11/14: BPEL 7.76'' / MEG 5.35''
        Short term goal : 8(BPEL) x 5.5
        Long term goal : 8(NBPEL) x 6

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks for the replies,

          I know that "I think too much", but the fact of the matter is that once something is learned it can't be unlearned. I can see I haven't elaborated enough on the theory of the relation between testicle size and mating strategy, but that probably should be a new thread all together. The point is that, mating and picking up mates is unconscious process- you can't change the strategy, you can just become aware of it. Of course mating is complex and it can't come down just to testicle size, but the sad thing is that the other factors that are looks based aren't in my favor too.
          There is no way in real life I can put this theory to test, can't go around and ask people what the size of their nuts is and how promiscuous they are. What I can tell is that me having really small testicles, I have never been the object of female sexual worship and rarely I get interest form women. I also know some friends to have pretty large sack and have more mating opportunities and urge to spread their genes.
          There is a evolutionary logic why this is, and I won't go into it now.

          The main problem in my dating life is that most of the girls that are attracted to me, I have no interest in- they are either not physically attractive by social standards (I don't expect them to look like porn or Hollywood stars, but they are very close to the opposite side of the spectrum) or/and not particularly intelligent. Having a stream of these kind of mating options made me depressed. I don't know what to do, I don't want to be with a girl I don't like, but I have the fear that as I grow older the options that I have are just going to deteriorate even further in their qualities.

          Comment


          • #6
            Bro, from what I have been reading, women prefer an average size... Because you can hit up against it with your body, where as with a bigger one it's hard to get it all the way in and they say it hurts... So, I wouldn't worry bro, if you know how to use it...

            I mean, I have an above average, and I always please the girl I'm with, but I know how to use it to... So, I guess it's how good you can Pilot ^^

            Good Luck

            Comment


            • #7
              I think reading is important. Definitely. It can increase our intelligence and understanding of things and situations...

              But! There will come a time when one needs to put what they read and learned into practice. Sometimes it works out and sometimes, it doesn't.

              That is where we all as a person learn and grow. Nothing is 100%. Ever.

              As for relationships, there is a point where idealistic sometimes, okay...rarely, meets realistic. There is no such thing as a 'perfect' person for you. I have a lot of friends who date one girl after another because they become not 'attracted' to them anymore because of their perceived short comings of the person they were with. It is extremely unrealistic and borders on narcissism.

              Just keep your options open. Be receptive to people. Enjoy meeting people. Don't worry about testicular size blah blah blah. Pure attraction is truly unspoken. There is no formula on attraction. I don't believe in eharmony etc. When you 'see' someone and she 'sees' you. You will know the intense chemical and physical attraction that occurs. You can't put it in a bottle. You can't make a flowchart about it. Writers for centuries, heck in prehistoric caveman days, have been trying to figure it out. My minor in anthropolgy (or was it sociology, I forget) attests to that!

              Comment


              • #8
                I would follow Brandon's advice if I were you.

                And just to add a quick little thing:

                Originally posted by RealBiggieSmalls View Post
                Thanks for the replies,
                I don't know what to do, I don't want to be with a girl I don't like, but I have the fear that as I grow older the options that I have are just going to deteriorate even further in their qualities.
                Just to say: you'll be pleased to see that's actually the complete opposite! As you get older, your chances get bigger (or at least with a "wider range" of girls). Girls change when they get older. When they're young (and the younger they are) they go for the look/body/big dick guys. But as they start to have more experience in life they tend to change their orientation and look for a mature, secure guy who can provide for his family (and I'm not only talking about money there). When I was a teen, I always wondered myself why I couldn't get a girlfriend? The other guys were not better than me! My mom would always tell me: "don't you worry, girls change as they get older. When they age, they realize what's really important in life more than look... Honesty, Righteousness, Kindness, etc."

                So the future is bright! Do not despair
                04/11/11: BPEL 6.97'' / MEG 4.88''
                04/11/12: BPEL 7.80'' / MEG 5.39''
                04/11/13: BPEL 7.95'' / MEG 5.39''
                04/11/14: BPEL 7.76'' / MEG 5.35''
                Short term goal : 8(BPEL) x 5.5
                Long term goal : 8(NBPEL) x 6

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Jayj View Post
                  I would follow Brandon's advice if I were you.

                  And just to add a quick little thing:



                  Just to say: you'll be pleased to see that's actually the complete opposite! As you get older, your chances get bigger (or at least with a "wider range" of girls). Girls change when they get older. When they're young (and the younger they are) they go for the look/body/big dick guys. But as they start to have more experience in life they tend to change their orientation and look for a mature, secure guy who can provide for his family (and I'm not only talking about money there). When I was a teen, I always wondered myself why I couldn't get a girlfriend? The other guys were not better than me! My mom would always tell me: "don't you worry, girls change as they get older. When they age, they realize what's really important in life more than look... Honesty, Righteousness, Kindness, etc."

                  So the future is bright! Do not despair
                  Why the hell would you even want a girl who ran around having her fun with good looking, handsome. big dicked guys and then when she feels her clock ticking she runs back to you? If you guys really want to be someone's booby prize fine. But for me I'll find a woman who doesn't operate like that in the first place. I can't believe you guys put up with that shit it's weak and your better then that! I can't believe how feminized we've become.
                  secureman
                  Senior Member
                  Last edited by secureman; 01-28-2012, 07:17 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Good point secureman. The number of threads started b/c a girl called your dick small, or told you she banged the entire Chicago Bulls 1993 roster, or told me my ED/pre. ejac. was unacceptable are pretty staggering. Where the heck are you finding these women and why are you sticking around with them when they're clearly mean-spirited and/or using mind games to control the relationship. I usually date sweet, caring, mature, intelligent women (I'm mid-20s too) and if any of them said anything like the things mentioned above then I would be disappointed in myself for misjudging the girl's character so badly, then I would kick them to the curb.

                    It truly boggles the mind how many girls are willing to stay with guys who treat them like absolute shit and how many guys are willing to stay with girls who continually put them down. Not being in a relationship at all is better than an abusive relationship, believe me. I think some people just feel like something is wrong with them if they aren't in a relationship and thus are willing to put up with way too much just so they can say they're still in a relationship.
                    Rando
                    Senior Member
                    Last edited by Rando; 01-28-2012, 07:26 AM.
                    Starting as of 2/1/11: 6.4 BPEL x 4.8 MSEG (5.6 NBPEL)
                    Just hoping to put together one full month of actually sticking to a routine and go from there.
                    My goals mainly revolve around developing high EQ erections that last during sex.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by RealBiggieSmalls View Post
                      Hi, everybody.


                      I'm good at my career and anything I put my mind to, except dating. I have done extensive research on the science behind mating and the conclusion that I came up with is, that there is a genetic predetermination to what kind of mates are gonna be attracted to you, and vice versa. It seems that testicle size is in relation with your dating strategy ('promiscuous', 'monogamous', 'mixed'). I don't have problem (used to have) with (only) being in one to few long term relationships in my lifetime, but I do have with the choice I'm "offered" for a mate.

                      My question is, how do you cope with dating someone, that you don't find attractive (intellectually and/or physically). It's like being in prison for life, nothing you do will change the situation you're in, how do you cope with that? So far I think is far better to be alone, than to be with someone you have no interest in, and my life experience shows that sooner or later you'll(I'll) have to pick up some girl from that pool.

                      I'm asking you this because I want to challenge my theories and beliefs, so your answers will be greatly appreciated.
                      Your testicles depict your dating strategy?... So in your mind, learning new strategies is never going to happen? You're forced to be doing the same thing for the rest of your life? I have this image of you believing that your balls tell you how you're going to act, so there's not much point in doing something new.

                      I don't believe that there is a genetic determinant for who you're going to end up in bed with. Girls respond much better to how you make them feel, rather than your penis size. A small guy can make a woman feel like he is the biggest guy in the world through his actions.
                      Some of the ugliest motherfuckers in the world get the hottest girls.
                      Why?
                      Behaviour. You can raise your value in a woman's eyes by how you act and who you hang out with. And ALL of them started off too shy to approach a girls. They learned new behaviours, unlearned old ones and became a new person.
                      If you do not want to believe this is possible, then you're going to hold yourself back in life.

                      How would I cope with someone I don't like? Very easily: I call them up, and tell them I'm not seeing them anymore. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure; I probably wouldn't date a girl I don't enjoy to begin with.
                      Unless it's something you learned. Like, you started off liking her, and then for whatever reason, you start to dislike her.
                      But you already told us you can't learn new things. So that probably does not describe you.

                      It sounds like you need to get out in the field and start dating more girls. It sounds like you have some serious confidence issues. How do you stay social with this sort of internalized problem?

                      Did you know that you can do testicle jelqs to increase the hang length and testicle size?
                      That, in itself, disproves your bogus theory.

                      Biggie, it sounds to me like you're taking on this defeatist ideology. "Once something is learned, it can never be unlearned." That's bullshit. Babies learn that it's okay to take a dump in their pants.
                      Then they learn to potty train.
                      If you want something bad enough, then you must take the steps to go get it. If you want to date more women, then sitting around and thinking up how your balls are determining your success will only be the block.
                      But it's your mind, not your junk, that's blocking you.
                      Toadstool
                      Senior Member
                      Last edited by Toadstool; 01-28-2012, 01:00 PM.
                      "Know the rules well, so that you may properly break them" - The Dalai Lama
                      Do not criticize the seed for not yet being a tree.
                      Character is destiny - Sigmund Freud
                      As long as I have breath in my lungs, I will make this happen

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by secureman View Post
                        Why the hell would you even want a girl who ran around having her fun with good looking, handsome. big dicked guys and then when she feels her clock ticking she runs back to you? If you guys really want to be someone's booby prize fine. But for me I'll find a woman who doesn't operate like that in the first place. I can't believe you guys put up with that shit it's weak and your better then that! I can't believe how feminized we've become.
                        I think you misunderstood...

                        I never said I would want a girl who "ran around having fun with good looking, handsome, big dicked guys and then when she feels her clock ticking she runs back".

                        I was just saying that usually, what a girl wants changes over time. When she's younger she wants something, when she gets older (and wiser?) she wants something else.
                        04/11/11: BPEL 6.97'' / MEG 4.88''
                        04/11/12: BPEL 7.80'' / MEG 5.39''
                        04/11/13: BPEL 7.95'' / MEG 5.39''
                        04/11/14: BPEL 7.76'' / MEG 5.35''
                        Short term goal : 8(BPEL) x 5.5
                        Long term goal : 8(NBPEL) x 6

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Listen to the Meatloaf song, Paradise by the Dashboard lights. There is a lesson to be learned by letting your dick make your relationship decisions. Waiting for the end of time.

                          My little dick found a perfect match after waiting 28 years.
                          not2big
                          Senior Super Moderator
                          PEGym Hero
                          Last edited by not2big; 01-28-2012, 02:08 PM.
                          Valued Member of 12+ years at the PEGym
                          12/'09 (start) NBP EL - 4.5, EG - 4.4
                          12/11 NBPEL - 5.1, MSEG - 5
                          01/13 NBPEL - 5.35, MSEG - 5.1
                          01/14 NBPEL - 5.35, MSEG - 5.25
                          01/16 NBPEL - 5.4, MSEG - 5.5
                          Fat Pad = 1+/-

                          Real cars have two seats. Everything else is a bus.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by RealBiggieSmalls View Post
                            I know that "I think too much", but the fact of the matter is that once something is learned it can't be unlearned.
                            Well, then just stay stuck where you are since that seems to be your goal. Seriously. If you want to change your situation, start by challenging and confronting beliefs about yourself like the one in the above sentence.

                            The rest of your post is all bs footnote in support of your worst thinking. You're just rationalizing your situation. Nobody really knows enough about evolution to be drawing the conclusions you are. And you have no basis for limiting yourself to only a certain type of girl that is attracted to you. You really don't know unless you've interacted with every type of girl, and you really don't know what the future holds either.

                            If you really want to do something about this, I suggest you find one of the dating/self-improvement sites and post there with your concerns. You have a lot of work to do, and there are people who can help you get started. May you find them!
                            HotRod
                            Senior Member
                            Last edited by HotRod; 01-28-2012, 03:20 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Wow! talk about stereotyping girls!! You are young, the girls you mingle with are young (yes girls not women) We are all bombarded with what we should look like, what the perfect mate looks like, everyone you see on TV and in the print media are beautiful people with perfect skin, etc....

                              When young you don't know who you are and what you want, it kicks in later in life, for me it was 23 and I knew then. I was prettier than most of my friends (good figure, great hair, pretty face and everybodies friend) and would be hit on by the meat head guys (you know the ones) all good looks and muscles who thought they were "it and a bit" I hated it, no normal man would look my way. I wanted substance, don't get me wrong I did go out with a lot of them, for a short time as I realised they had nothing to offer. I even gave up dating and became a hermit for a year, as I was fed up with it all. Only after meeting my now hubby by chance did I meet a man who had some depth to him, he is just a Mr Average, wears glasses, works too hard and I have never measured his dick (it doesn't matter) He is everything I need/want and more!!

                              Stop focusing on yourself, find your spark for life, become the guy everyone wants to be friends with. A real woman won't be looking down your pants she will be looking in your eyes to see the real you inside.... Sheesh!! rant over

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