So theres this girl..

[needhelp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close needhelp]

Hopefully someone has been in this situation before because I dont really know what to do. My roommates girlfriend has been bringing one of her friends over every now and then for about 2 weeks now. Me and this girl would talk a lot, shes cool as fuck and fun to be around. Anyways Thursday night before we went out I kinda got this feeling about her when I would look her in her eyes. In my mind she went from girl who comes around to potential suitor just from one little interaction. So Saturday night we were at this party and we were both drinking and we started making out a lot. I really think she likes me and that it wasnt just the alcohol(even though it was definitely a factor in making out in front of the party lol), but how should I go about things here? I did get her number but when should I text her? Thanks.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Text her whenever you want, let her know you're definitely interested but don't seem overly eager or desperate. If she likes you, which it sounds like she does, then she's going to be waiting for your text . I don't play mind games if I really like a girl, but that also doesn't mean I text them all the time or act anxious to talk to them. Just be cool and be yourself.

[Sonic Member Find all posts View Profile Close Sonic]

Text her whenever you want, let her know you're definitely interested but don't seem overly eager or desperate. If she likes you, which it sounds like she does, then she's going to be waiting for your text . I don't play mind games if I really like a girl, but that also doesn't mean I text them all the time or act anxious to talk to them. Just be cool and be yourself.

Totally agree with you Brian. Text her whenever you want just dont bombard her with texts and sound desperate otherwise she will lose interest. Good luck bro.

[mrmark Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrmark]

Don't text her TALK to her,if i met a woman who was interested in me and she could not take the time of day to speak to me then maybe shes not for me.Manners and confidence cost nothing i am not like computer i have feelings and hearing someones voice is so much better than a few words displayed on my phone.

[rickthedick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rickthedick]

Don't text her TALK to her,if i met a woman who was interested in me and she could not take the time of day to speak to me then maybe shes not for me.Manners and confidence cost nothing i am not like computer i have feelings and hearing someones voice is so much better than a few words displayed on my phone.

AGREED! Thats the problem with technology now-a-days, Nobody ever talks anymore. Everybody just hides behind words on a phone screen. Make it more personal and talk with her, that way you can feel her emotions on the phone and not have to read between the lines of what she meant, because its hard to tell how someone said something unless they throw a fucking LOL in there or two.....and god I hate lol's

[CaptainJohnson Retired ModeratorSenior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CaptainJohnson]

Okay, quick rundown:

Your roommate's girlfriend brought a friend over.

This friend came over repeatedly after the first time with your roommate's girlfriend.

Strikes me as an excuse to come over. Nobody wants to play the third wheel. She probably liked you before you liked her.

Phone her to come over to your place for lunch. She's been to your place enough, so you can skip the coffee dates and other outings.

Hang out, talk, and let stuff take its normal course. Tell her what you think about her, like how she's cool, makes you laugh, and you're finding yourself attracted to her. I would avoid physical compliments, as you are making it clear it is more than that. Have fun, and when that eye contact after your confession of interest hangs a bit longer than it should, slowly move in for a kiss and see if she does too. If she doesn't, hell throw in a compliment about her as a kisser in a light-hearted joking way, hinting at you wanting another one o' those. She'll get the message.


EDIT: Note on what BTBrian said, screw the mind games. I fully agree. There is confidence in forwardness and honesty. Go for the gold.

[needhelp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close needhelp]

Thanks for the replies guys, they were helpful. As for the talking vs texting debate, I think it depends on what age you are. Im in college, and texting is pretty much what people my age do these days. I mean after you've been talking for a while then calling is what you do but initially its all text.

Captain I like what you had to say. Ill invite her to lunch on campus or something, she's a freshman and has no ride so I doubt she could come to my house.

One thing I forgot to mention in the OP is that she may have ex boyfriend issues, but Im not sure. Its just that at one point Saturday night she would keep texting and checking her phone, with her mind clearly not at the party. Then I looked and she just started crying and I then told her she needed to go outside so no one would see her like that. When I asked her later she didnt wanna talk about it so I just left it alone. But I was wondering how/if I should bring this up.

[jd10021 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jd10021]

It sounds like your roommate and/or roommate's girlfriend tried to set you guys up.

Text, call, talk or do whatever it is young people do nowadays. Don't obsess about asking her out or worry about the formalities of being boyfriend/girlfriend or exclusive/non-exclusive. If you like her, just arrange to see her and do things together and see where it goes.

[rickthedick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rickthedick]

Thanks for the replies guys, they were helpful. As for the talking vs texting debate, I think it depends on what age you are. Im in college, and texting is pretty much what people my age do these days. I mean after you've been talking for a while then calling is what you do but initially its all text.

Captain I like what you had to say. Ill invite her to lunch on campus or something, she's a freshman and has no ride so I doubt she could come to my house.

One thing I forgot to mention in the OP is that she may have ex boyfriend issues, but Im not sure. Its just that at one point Saturday night she would keep texting and checking her phone, with her mind clearly not at the party. Then I looked and she just started crying and I then told her she needed to go outside so no one would see her like that. When I asked her later she didnt wanna talk about it so I just left it alone. But I was wondering how/if I should bring this up.

While some of the older gentlemen on her may subscribe to the old way of thinking by using horseback mail, pigeon carrier or pixie cup and string, I am not one of them. I'm only starting my 30's and am hip to the technology. I guess I just believe in traditional methods of communication. Your story kinda reminds me of when my wife and I first met. She was expecting me to text like everyone else and was shocked that I called and I think brought us closer, quicker. But, to each his own, brother. Sounds like she likes you regardless, just don't mess it up and say; I like long walks on the beach and I also PE, check it out! then you show her the helicopter cock twirl

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Thanks for the replies guys, they were helpful. As for the talking vs texting debate, I think it depends on what age you are. Im in college, and texting is pretty much what people my age do these days. I mean after you've been talking for a while then calling is what you do but initially its all text.

Captain I like what you had to say. Ill invite her to lunch on campus or something, she's a freshman and has no ride so I doubt she could come to my house.

One thing I forgot to mention in the OP is that she may have ex boyfriend issues, but Im not sure. Its just that at one point Saturday night she would keep texting and checking her phone, with her mind clearly not at the party. Then I looked and she just started crying and I then told her she needed to go outside so no one would see her like that. When I asked her later she didnt wanna talk about it so I just left it alone. But I was wondering how/if I should bring this up.

Yeah, I hafta say that calling would definitely send a clearer signal to her than a text. And, in terms of her crying the other night, don't worry about it and don't ask about it. When and if she wants to tell you, she'll bring it up, but don't pry.

What I prefer to do nowadays is to talk in person. Only use the phone to coordinate plans that have already been made. This really gives a nice feeling of "oh hey, we just kinda kept bumping into each other" kinda vibe... it feels more like destiny or fate than anything plotted or planned. Girls like that feeling a lot better.

[needhelp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close needhelp]

I prefer in person talks as well, but I need to get in contact with her in order to set up an in person situation.

I was thinking of sending a text along these lines, something like "Hey had a lot of fun with you the other night was wondering if you wanted to get lunch later this week?"

Or something like "Hey had a lot of fun with you the other night and Id like to get to know you more, lunch later this week?"

What do yall think?

[CaptainJohnson Retired ModeratorSenior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CaptainJohnson]

Thanks for the replies guys, they were helpful. As for the talking vs texting debate, I think it depends on what age you are. Im in college, and texting is pretty much what people my age do these days. I mean after you've been talking for a while then calling is what you do but initially its all text.

Captain I like what you had to say. Ill invite her to lunch on campus or something, she's a freshman and has no ride so I doubt she could come to my house.

One thing I forgot to mention in the OP is that she may have ex boyfriend issues, but Im not sure. Its just that at one point Saturday night she would keep texting and checking her phone, with her mind clearly not at the party. Then I looked and she just started crying and I then told her she needed to go outside so no one would see her like that. When I asked her later she didnt wanna talk about it so I just left it alone. But I was wondering how/if I should bring this up.

Glad you got something out of my post :P

Just to chime in with the other guys, I am 23, I am still in University since I took a year and a half off, and I can tell you I call if I am as close as you are to a girl. I got my texting game down pat, and there is a time and a place for it (say a random girl in a coffee shop gives you her number, you text, not call). In this situation, you have spoken lots of times to this girl. Hell, you've made out at a club. I say call. It shows more confidence.

As for the ex-boyfriend thing, ignore it. It's her business, and if you got the balls to try handling her, I say don't sweat it. She will come to you and talk about it when she is well and ready... BUT if these insecurities she has start making a clear impression on how you two are relating, bring up that night, explain what is going through your mind, and ask her if you guessed right. Its walking on egg shells, because you want her to understand you only want to help.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

I think texting is great. Don't text her to have a conversation with her though. Just do some quick flirty joking texts while asking her to hang out. Texting is great as long as you don't try to use it as a conversation. Conversations/getting to know her should be done in person, not via text and not via phone call. Sounds like you already know her pretty well though so just text her asking her to hang out.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

I prefer in person talks as well, but I need to get in contact with her in order to set up an in person situation.

I was thinking of sending a text along these lines, something like "Hey had a lot of fun with you the other night was wondering if you wanted to get lunch later this week?"

Or something like "Hey had a lot of fun with you the other night and Id like to get to know you more, lunch later this week?"

What do yall think?

That's exactly what I'd do.

[CaptainJohnson Retired ModeratorSenior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CaptainJohnson]

I think texting is great. Don't text her to have a conversation with her though. Just do some quick flirty joking texts while asking her to hang out. Texting is great as long as you don't try to use it as a conversation. Conversations/getting to know her should be done in person, not via text and not via phone call. Sounds like you already know her pretty well though so just text her asking her to hang out.

The phone call is used for more serious, to-the-point situations. Lets say I met a girl at a Starbucks yesterday. With a text, I might say,

"Hey, I know this great sushi bar... I also know this cute girl I met in Starbucks yesterday. Think she'd like it? "

With a phone call and the situation needhelp is in I would say exactly what you guys are saying should be in a text.

Texts are informal and do not convey emotion well. Comedy and light hearted behaviour is easy with them, while sarcasm and direct questions are not.

Speaking on the phone allows you to show off your confidence through your voice, and your playfulness as well, with a simple direct question. Texts cannot do this. It also puts her on the spot to decide. If she likes you, and you recently lip wrestled with her drunk, she will be less likely to overthink.