Dating a foreigner. Advise needed!

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

I hung out with this extremely attractive girl from Iran outside of college and decided to ask her out on a date, I have been rusty on my picking up woman skills but have been really confident talking to her and getting us to hang out. This is going to be my first date after breaking up with my ex-girlfriend of 3 years a month and half prior.

Here is all of the good things:
She is smart, funny, gorgeous, and extremely interesting. She gives ALL of the signs of attraction from laughing about things I say that aren't funny, keeping conversation going when it dulls down, and looking away blushing when I look at her for too long. I don't believe she is mulsim like the majority of people in her country and she seems much less conservative then others I see from Iran. (She wears more exposing clothes and such) I have been doing a lot of Kino just to increase our physical comfort level. So I am not afraid to touch her.


Here's the problem, I find her TOO interesting. Almost fascinating. She is so exotic it really turns me on. She is a 10. Straight up. I have never dated a 10 before, but in my head I know I have to treat her like anyone else, normal. I need to make it seem like I am the prize, as that is the only way I will get respect. And I know that talking about HER life and HER culture will only make her think that she is the prize. The tricky part is she is an Eastern girl and not a Western girls so her morals and values aren't going to be exactly the same as over here. I decided I should think of her as a "challenge" to progress my inner self.

The reason why humans date is to find out all of this stuff, but I really think that I need to make a physical attraction first THEN the emotional attraction. I am just having a hard time being sexual (but I am being confident so not all is lost). Now that we are officially going on a "date" I should be able to pull off more sexuality since it is more expected.

Am I going about this the right way you guys? I tend to think I am, but I would like to hear other opinion. Please don't be afraid to comment!

By the way, my current goals with her are to have sexual contact with her while we are dating but before becoming exclusive, since I have never EVER tried doing sexual things with women before becoming the "boyfriend".

[secureman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close secureman]

Dude even if she's a 10 she still shots like the rest of us, can be an asshole like the rest of us, picks her nose when people are not looking like the rest of us. Take her off the pedestal or your doomed. At the end of the day she's a woman nothing more nothing less.

[Padawan787 Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Padawan787]

What?! girls don't poo

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Have you ever watched that tv show "American Muslim" on TLC? Even though she may not look or act like it, I'm quite certain she is Muslim. There are many middle eastern women who come over here looking for a better life and who don't subscribe to the traditional Muslim values (like wearing the robe thing from head to toe and such) and rather wear their hair down, dress provacatively and such...............and I'll agree, these women are among the HOTTEST in the world.

I say just go with it and see where it leads. Just treat her with kindness and respect and it will all come back to you 10 fold.

[SilurianSoldier Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SilurianSoldier]

TALIBAN SPY!!! She's not going to give you head, she's going to take yours off!!!

Although I DO SEE the attractiveness of Arabic/Middle-Eastern women!
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/...dhabi_span.jpg

[4Samson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 4Samson]

Is she actually a foreigner as in a immigrant or was she born/raised here? Theres a big difference. If shes raised here then treat her like any other girl and just keep her families values in mind when dealing with them.

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Dude even if she's a 10 she still shots like the rest of us, can be an asshole like the rest of us, picks her nose when people are not looking like the rest of us. Take her off the pedestal or your doomed. At the end of the day she's a woman nothing more nothing less.

I have previously been great at doing this with my last girlfriend, never took shit from her or anything, she loved and respected me for that, and now I NEVER want to go back to the guy who ends up in the friend zone, see a few years back I decided I was fed up with always being in the friend zone and never getting the girls that I wanted so I hit the gym and gained a crapload of confidence! I dated a lot during those few months and was amazed at how much confidence really made the difference in relationships. I am just having a little trouble since I am rusty from not dating for so long...

But you know what? I think I needed to read that, because I am not in the right mindset right now. Even just now I am "having a little trouble since I am rusty". It is just an excuse. I can do this, I did it before I can do it again.

Have you ever watched that tv show "American Muslim" on TLC? Even though she may not look or act like it, I'm quite certain she is Muslim. There are many middle eastern women who come over here looking for a better life and who don't subscribe to the traditional Muslim values (like wearing the robe thing from head to toe and such) and rather wear their hair down, dress provacatively and such...............and I'll agree, these women are among the HOTTEST in the world.

I say just go with it and see where it leads. Just treat her with kindness and respect and it will all come back to you 10 fold.

If I am not mistaken, I remember hearing her tell a group of people that she was not Muslim, but respected the religion nonetheless. Again not 100% certain but it is coming to my mind all of a sudden.

No offence, MrBigDick, but too much kindness never got me anywhere with women, however since she is western (born and raised in Iran) she may have different values and may be attracted to kindness. I know however ALL women are attracted to confidence.

Is she actually a foreigner as in a immigrant or was she born/raised here? Theres a big difference. If shes raised here then treat her like any other girl and just keep her families values in mind when dealing with them.

She is a foreigner, born and raised in Iran. She moved to the US about 14months ago, she told me that she likes to travel and doesn't plan to move back home anytime soon. She speaks pretty damn good English, but not perfect.

TALIBAN SPY!!! She's not going to give you head, she's going to take yours off!!!

Although I DO SEE the attractiveness of Arabic/Middle-Eastern women!

That's terrible! I hope not. haha

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Go out, have fun and dont worry about a game plan. Let her like being with you for who you are because in the long run you will always end up being you. Treat her like a special, smart beautifull woman and things should go fine. Just because you treat her great doesnt mean you are a pushover, it means that you will be the guy that she thinks treats her great and makes her feel beautifull and smart.
No dutch ovens untill you have dated her for at least 6 months!

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Your right, I am not going to worry as much. It is the thoughts beforehand that kills me, but when it is time to go for it, I am fine usually. She should like me for me. Thanks.

Whats a dutch oven?!?

[Thrill Drill Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thrill Drill]

Find out for sure whether or not she's a Muslim. If you are not 100% sure then you need to. If she's a Muslim then if you are serious about this relationship and even willing to marry her, you'll need to convert to Islam. Muslim women are not allowed to marry outside their religion. If her parents/family are back in Iran that's probably why she's acting the way she is. If they're over here then you're probably being kept a secret from them. I know a Muslim woman who dated a non-Muslim man once, when they got serious her family threatened to disown her. She left the guy and went back to her family. Some Muslim women have been threatened with death, others have been honor killed. The punishment for leaving Islam is death. If I were you I'd find out for sure what she is, and if it turns out that she is a Muslim make it clear from the beginning that you will not convert to Islam (if you're not going to). If you plan on getting married and having children, let her know that they will not be raised as Muslims (again, assuming this is what you plan on doing). She may be thinking that you'll convert for her, but if you don't plan on it, then she needs to know before you two grow too attached to each other.

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Yeah she is not Muslim. Thanks for all of the information there Thrill Drill! I definitely don't want to bring up family and stuff at this point, but I really don't have anything to worry about now.

We went out the other night to a club downtown and made out with her everywhere. It was the most intense PDA I have ever been a part of. Things are going great shes all over me and I haven't even lifted a finger. She was so much more sexual than I imagined her being!

What surprises me is that I have never told her shes beautiful or smart or that shes interesting. I have just "shown" in my actions that I am sexually attracted to her. I knew I could do it, I just had to stop thinking about it and have fun.

We are going on an actual date tomorrow, so I can learn a little about her.

[Abomb123 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Abomb123]

Ok now this IS a bias opinion, BUT I have seen this happen to numerous friends.

Ok, I have always had a thing for Persian women. They are gorgeous. But what I have found is that with their Muslim background, they need to have their self esteem boosted by other men. Again this is in my two experiences. But with both, they have always looked for the next better thing. I am a good looking guy and have quite a bit going for me ( not being conceded ) but once she found they found I was interested enough that we were together. My attention wasn't important anymore ie they would need attention from other men in order to feel good. At my expense, I became more of a last resort than a priority of any kind.

All of these at the beginning were the most cute, sweet, caring women at the beginning . But after once they realize how "hot" they are they will not really care about you because they start to think they can do better.

This sounds very one sided I know. But this is MY experience. I think their background of having to wear robe or whatever makes them want to dress more sexy, and them not being able to get hit on makes them want more attention.

I will forever have a thing for these women. But my experience with them and everyone I know who has dated one where the woman was Persian and the guy wasn't hasn't ended well at all. Scary in my opinion I would make it a casual no feelings thing my dude