What's the matter with this girl?

[DarkKnight Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DarkKnight]

I have a lot of trust issues with girls because my ex (who I was with for 1 year) cheated on me with some guy she met at a rave. This break up was recent. Anyways I've been getting close to another girl I've known for 2 years but I'm scared to make anything official. I don't want to move too quick, end up with another girl who will cheat on me and she also seems a bit TOO clingy. She gave me a handjob two weeks ago and I was supposed to be fingering her this week.

Here's the sad part.

Some guy (who I thought was my friend) told her I was saying things about her to him. He said I called her slag, that I don't like her and I'm using her and he told her how I told her she gave me a handjob (wrong of me to tell him). She hasn't been picking up my calls or replying to my texts and just yesterday she came to my house and gave me the stuff that I bought her. She said "I can't believe you would say those things about me" and she left. She didn't care what I had to say. I've known her way longer than this guy has (he probably knew her for a few months). I went to him and told him to tell her what he said was a lie but it turns out he wants her, although he's showing too much interest in her and I don't see it working for him.

Now my question is, how can I sort this out?

I am not using her and I can't believe she would believe what this guy says over what I say. I'm frustrated and I'm beginning to feel maybe she didn't even like me and this is her way off telling me to skadoosh. Any advice on what I can do?


Oh and also I'm turning 20 this July and she's turning 17 this December (I never did anything with her when she wasn't legal believe me lol she just went to the same school as me, it's how I met her). Is the age difference weird?

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

If you can get in touch with her in person. Straight up tell her "all guys talk about sexual stuff they do with women, and that the rest of the shit he said was false information." Once you tell her that, follow up by saying, "you don't have to believe me but I have no reason to lie. That's exactly what happened and I see nothing wrong with it."

I have kind of had the same thing happen to me. I told someone something I shouldn't have and the girlfriend (we were dating for like a week) found out. She got pissed off and started saying how wrong I was and I followed by saying the stuff I just told you. I said, "Yeah I did say that and there's nothing wrong with that, if I am talking about you that just means I like you." Sure enough she believed what I said and it was no big deal after. What I said wasn't a lie, I was just confidently backing up my decision that I made.

I did this MANY times, and every time she respected me more for it. I never lied, I just followed my values and defended myself.

You decided to say that stuff about her. Stay with it, and defend yourself, just don't make it an argument. Let her make the decision to get back with you or not, but chances are, if she sees you were confident enough to explain yourself and show that it really wasn't a big deal. She will probably ask you to apologize after that. Apologize for the "misunderstanding" of the whole situation.

[DarkKnight Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DarkKnight]

I've tried texting her saying how I was wrong to tell him she gave me a handjob and that whatever he said about me and what he said I said about her is a lie but no response

I'm going to try wait for her outside her house and then just tell her. All she does though is call me a liar and it's really to try explain things properly to her. What do you think about the age difference? Is it too much?

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

I think the age difference depends on the person honestly. I am 20 and I am going on a date with a 22-23 year old woman.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Age difference is fine, you need to stop texting her because texting about important stuff shows a girl you're not confident to talk about it in real life. At the very least talk to her on the phone or leave a message, but you should really try to talk to her in person and say exactly what drummer said. Age difference is fine. Odds are she's had guys treat her poorly in the past so she probably has reason to be wary so be aware of that

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Its a bummer but with some girls what you did is a definate deal breaker, aint saying i agree with her but some take talking about what you do in private very seriously. I had something similar happen to me when I was younger. I opened my mouth, she closed the door, it was the end of the story and in all actuality i never held it against her. I fudged it up and she was hot too, damn.

[BabyDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BabyDick]

Tell her what you told us....you made a mistake telling your friend about it cause you were excited for the first time in a long time....your friend's a dick btw and wants to hit that

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

yep, BabyDick is correct about your friend, hes after her or he would have kept his trap shut.

[DarkKnight Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DarkKnight]

I knew he wanted her else he would have no reason to tell her what I said and start talking poo. I should beat him up but sadly I'm not a fighter. I still want to get back at him or should I leave it? She texted me today morning saying "FUCK RIGHT OFF" so I guess that's something. Shit why did I have to open my mouth

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Dude just go talk to her in person stop trying to text her.

[adiavroxos Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close adiavroxos]

Try to tell her the truth in person and not through texting or phone messages. If she doesnt reply to all your texts or phone calls then just text her that you really like her and you want to meet so you can sort this mess out. If she ignores that too, Im sorry but there are not much left to do. Maybe trying to find her so she (in a matter of speech) ''forced'' to talk to you? :/

[DarkKnight Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DarkKnight]

Dude just go talk to her in person stop trying to text her.

So I followed your advice and decided to talk to her in person. I went outside her house and shouted her name to get her attention but it did piss her off. I straight away grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes with my serious face (I tried my best not to smile at her) and said something like:

"I loved the handjob you gave me and I would love to return the favour to you and I know I am a complete idiot for telling someone else what we done behind closed doors. I was talking to him and I guess it just slipped out. You know I like you a lot and will never say or do anything that will hurt you. Everything that dickhead said besides the handjob thing is a complete lie because he's a predator and he just wants your ass. Please give me one more chance to make it up to you and make things right between us."

I said something like that and she invited me into her house, we sat on the sofa and she was like "I didn't think you would be the type of guy to open your mouth, it's going to take a lot to make it up to me."

I stayed in her house and we just caught up but there was this awkwardness and the odd silent moment a few times. I don't think she trusts me though.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Well hey she's talking to you know so you're on the right track now it's just gonna take time for you to prove to her you're a great guy. Just take things slowly and I'm sure eventually she'll start to trust you again. Congrats on getting her talking to you again though!

[Hoffnung Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hoffnung]

What day in july is your birthday?

[DarkKnight Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DarkKnight]

Well hey she's talking to you know so you're on the right track now it's just gonna take time for you to prove to her you're a great guy. Just take things slowly and I'm sure eventually she'll start to trust you again. Congrats on getting her talking to you again though!

She didn't let me hug her or anything. Whenever I tried she would just laugh and turn away while pushing me off What does this mean?