Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How to not be my own worst enemy with girls

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How to not be my own worst enemy with girls

    I have a serious problem sometimes with girls. Somtimes one may like me, but in my head Ill keep thinking up reasons why she wouldnt like me. I also have a problem to where I cant get a girl out of my head and I sort of put her on a pedestal so to speak. How does one go about NOT doing this?

    This girl, we had a class together this past semester in school where we only went once a week but it was for 6 hours. In this class everyone got to know everyone else really well and this is where I came to like who this girl is. There were a few different times nearing the end of the semester where I kinda felt a vibe that she liked me, but me being my own worst enemy my mind shot that down quick and I never asked her out or anything.

    Fast forward to 2 nights ago. Me and my friends were at the bars and were in the middle of switching bars when she was with a friend and noticed me. This was at maybe 3 AM. So we spend the rest of the night together dancing/talking with other people, just having a really good time until around 6 AM. After that it was time to go home, and my house is on the way to hers so she said she would drop me off. I asked her if she wanted to smoke so we both came inside my house to do that. After we smoked, me being my own worst enemy again I was hesitant to make a move until I noticed it kind of looked like she was getting impatient with me not making one. I wasnt about to miss out on this one so I pulled my go to question in the clutch, I just straight up asked her if she wanted to kiss me and when she said maybe with a smile, it was on!

    I kid you not, we made out with each other in my kitchen until at least 7:30, so for like an hour. We had to drink 2 glasses of water between both of us because our mouths got so dry from making out so much. It was like one of those make out sessions from high school. She ended up sleeping over.

    So about my issues. Before this incident, I would think to myself, "shes too pretty, why would she want to be with a bald guy(Im bald) when she can get a lot of the sought after guys with hair." Im still thinking that actually. I usually think to myself that a girl wouldnt like me bald because I always wear a hat out, so I get it in my head that when she actually does see me bald, she wont like it. Kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy. In this case, because of our class, I had to go to the class hatless so she knows what I look like bald, so that issue is irrelevant.

    I also have the issue where Ill think we did what we did because we were drunk, and that when sober she may think different. Ive had times before where me and a girl do something like this when drunk, and it seems like everything changes after. I had a thread about a month or 2 ago where me and a girl made out at a party and I was asking advice on how to ask her out. Well I asked her out, she said yes but had to cancel the day of. People suggested I wait for her to hit me back up to reschedule so I did, but she never hit me back up. Ive seen her like twice since then and things just seem different. This type of thing has happened a few times during my time in college.

    I dont want that to happen in this case. I dont want to act weird or anything next time we hang out. I dont want to appear needy or desperate. I have no clue when, or how, I should say something, if at all. She has been on my mind almost all the time since it happened, but I dont want her to be because Ill end up liking her way too much and act different around her. This girl is really pretty, one of those where my friends were wondering how in the world I pulled something like that. Id hate to screw it up because it seems obvious that she likes me, but my mind might convince me that she doesnt. How do I avoid this???

    Side note: Sorry for the long, rambling story. I have no one else I feel comfortable talking to about this so this is my release lol.

  • #2
    I dont want to act different around her, but I feel like things have changed for good once you make out like we did for the amount of time we did.

    Comment


    • #3
      How to avoid this kind of thinking? Focus on her and not on yourself. And stop trying
      to figure out every little turn of events. You'll drive yourself batty. Just accept that
      she likes you and if she likes you, then she'll like your baldness and every thing that
      goes with it.

      Comment


      • #4
        And don't make too much out of the long making out session. You tend to read into
        every little event that happens. The relationship may bloom and it may not. Just
        go with the flow and stop second guessing everything!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by going411by7 View Post
          And don't make too much out of the long making out session. You tend to read into
          every little event that happens. The relationship may bloom and it may not. Just
          go with the flow and stop second guessing everything!!!
          Can't say much more than this.
          Start
          6.75ishBP
          5.12G

          Now
          7.25BP
          5.31G

          Comment


          • #6
            She likely cancelled for a valid reason. Don't wait for her to lead the relationship: Take charge. text her when you're free and ask her out again. Enjoy yourself.
            You're all nervous and worried, but the answer is right in front of you: She likes you, she wants you, she trusts you. What more do you want? Who cares WHY? You may not fit your definition of a sexy man, but you obviously fit hers. She made out with you for an hour and a half? Dude.
            Don't make me come over there and kick your ass. Ask her out and tell us how much of a great time you had. Don't over think things.If she can't make it, play it cool and text her another day. Persistence works great.
            "Know the rules well, so that you may properly break them" - The Dalai Lama
            Do not criticize the seed for not yet being a tree.
            Character is destiny - Sigmund Freud
            As long as I have breath in my lungs, I will make this happen

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Toadstool View Post
              She likely cancelled for a valid reason. Don't wait for her to lead the relationship: Take charge. text her when you're free and ask her out again. Enjoy yourself.
              You're all nervous and worried, but the answer is right in front of you: She likes you, she wants you, she trusts you. What more do you want? Who cares WHY? You may not fit your definition of a sexy man, but you obviously fit hers. She made out with you for an hour and a half? Dude.
              Don't make me come over there and kick your ass. Ask her out and tell us how much of a great time you had. Don't over think things.If she can't make it, play it cool and text her another day. Persistence works great.
              +1

              And, don't worry too much about your baldness.. I really don't get how so many dudes get depressed about their baldness, when I become bald, I just shave everything of my head, it's manly/dominant/sexy. I'm even thinking to get me a millimeter coupe. Look at bruce willis, jason statham, .. A lot of women find it sexy. BUT make sure you shave of EVERYTHING .. No little spots with hair, EVERYTHING shaven off.

              I also had (and perhaps still have) some problems thinking i'm not good enough and stuff. It's obvious she's into you. And, you need to take the first step. Be glad she waited that long that night at your place. But this is your biggest hint: you must lead her. If you wonna kiss her fuck it just go for it. If she rejects okay no problem, i'm still gonna have fun tonight. It's all about how you see things man. ENJOY every moment with her. If she didn't like you, you wouldn't had the chance to kiss her in the first place. and if she eventually doesn't like you, who cares man, enough beautiful girls in the world.

              Best of luck!

              Comment


              • #8
                Lots of good advice in this thread. I know how you feel with the baldness thing/wearing a hat out etc. I do the same thing and I struggle with it still at times.. Just got to except it and be confident around the girl.
                dec 2011
                NPBEL 6.1
                BPEL 6.4
                BG 5.9 --6.0
                MEG 5.6--5.65
                heg 4.9 --5.0

                stupid small hands!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Yea, Im coming around with the baldness. I do shave everything but it just takes time getting used to. I recently grew out a little facial hair and had maybe 4-5 girls(including the one from the story) say they liked it and Ive noticed it kinda diverts attention from my head. I just started working out and Ive been trying to get in the sun at least 3 times a week to get a good tan. I read somewhere that the way to get a newfound confidence is to see a different you in the mirror, and what better way to do that than to see a bigger, darker me with facial hair?

                  The class we had together was like a restaurant mgmt class so when working as a server you cant wear a hat. In work situations I get over being bald a lot faster because you dont have time to worry about it you just gotta be yourself and work. I think thats why Im myself around her.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Toadstool View Post
                    She likely cancelled for a valid reason. Don't wait for her to lead the relationship: Take charge. text her when you're free and ask her out again. Enjoy yourself.
                    You're all nervous and worried, but the answer is right in front of you: She likes you, she wants you, she trusts you. What more do you want? Who cares WHY? You may not fit your definition of a sexy man, but you obviously fit hers. She made out with you for an hour and a half? Dude.
                    Don't make me come over there and kick your ass. Ask her out and tell us how much of a great time you had. Don't over think things.If she can't make it, play it cool and text her another day. Persistence works great.
                    Well the first girl that canceled did so because we just didnt have time, it wouldve been rushed. I went on spring break the next week and when I came back I decided that I didnt really want to pursue that. She was a freshman, and her friend told me she was a virgin. I didnt really want to deal with that.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      With the girl from this story, Im gonna ask her out. Ive just got this fuck it mentality to where if she says no then so be it but theres really no way I could live with myself if I dont ask her. Only thing I have to decide now is when and how.
                      needhelp
                      Senior Member
                      Last edited by needhelp; 05-07-2012, 01:53 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Confidence come with practice and attitude. Try to think more like a salesman whose motto is if you knock on enough doors, someone eventually says yes. Also learn to love yourself.

                        It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.- K.Popper
                        Strength is the outcome of need, security sets a premium on feebleness.-Wells

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by needhelp View Post
                          I have a serious problem sometimes with girls. Somtimes one may like me, but in my head Ill keep thinking up reasons why she wouldnt like me. I also have a problem to where I cant get a girl out of my head and I sort of put her on a pedestal so to speak. How does one go about NOT doing this?
                          If a girl likes you, she does that for a reason. If you like a girl, you like her for a reason too. From what you're saying, I think you have serious self-esteem issues. She likes you, she believes in you. So start believing in yourself too. Its actually that simple.
                          The best sound in the whole world is my wife.... having an orgasm!!!!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by second lensman View Post
                            Confidence come with practice and attitude. Try to think more like a salesman whose motto is if you knock on enough doors, someone eventually says yes. Also learn to love yourself.
                            wow man, that salesman motto is pretty good haven't thought about it that way

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X