I told her everything

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

So you all remember my relationship thing with a girl about 4 months ago, no?. Well that is alright.

Well I finally told her everything, that I was still in love with her, that I wanted to try again and ultimately she said no because she met someone recently. I did everything I could and cried a whole lot, got a little angry, scared, and suicidal, but in the end it didn't matter.

I hurt a lot right now, I hurt so much and even though I said I wouldn't kill myself, because she said if I did she would do the same, not smile anymore, and be extra crazy.

I know we can be friends, but it hurts so much. I thought I could finally be happy the way I wanted, but the only way that will happen is if her and this guy break up. She said if she didn't meet him she would have said yes to me and everything.

Moral is that life sucks, I don't even get to choose to kill myself, and no matter what you do the universe is just laughing at you.

So right now I am heavily dehydrated from crying so much, really tired, irritated, and overall still pretty suicidal.

I don't want anyone saying anything negative about her and I don't expect any real advice, but I have to get this out.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

The hard part of life.
Sorry for your pain.
You will get through this.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

The hard part of life.
Sorry for your pain.
You will get through this.

I don't see how, I really don't. Part of me wants to look at this as I tried my best, but the other thinks I wasted so much time and just look like a complete idiot now.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

Many people have those exact feelings when things break .. You didn't waste your time because she filled a need you had, you had good times together and with the relationship you had with her you grew a little ..you will also continue to grow as you deal with letting her go.
Just because you didn't get the end result you had hoped for or the relationship didn't last the forever does not make it a waste of time.. And caring and falling for someone doesn't make you an idiot.
You need to learn to like yourself and you will find there are more options out there..beyond this one girl.
I am sorry your heart is hurting. but you can and will ride the storm out. and you will find yourself in the sunshine again.

[TheSnitch Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheSnitch]

So you all remember my relationship thing with a girl about 4 months ago, no?. Well that is alright.

Well I finally told her everything, that I was still in love with her, that I wanted to try again and ultimately she said no because she met someone recently. I did everything I could and cried a whole lot, got a little angry, scared, and suicidal, but in the end it didn't matter.

I hurt a lot right now, I hurt so much and even though I said I wouldn't kill myself, because she said if I did she would do the same, not smile anymore, and be extra crazy.

I know we can be friends, but it hurts so much. I thought I could finally be happy the way I wanted, but the only way that will happen is if her and this guy break up. She said if she didn't meet him she would have said yes to me and everything.

Moral is that life sucks, I don't even get to choose to kill myself, and no matter what you do the universe is just laughing at you.

So right now I am heavily dehydrated from crying so much, really tired, irritated, and overall still pretty suicidal.

I don't want anyone saying anything negative about her and I don't expect any real advice, but I have to get this out.

My first real break up was with a woman 7 years older than me, she meant everything to me, but her reputation and need to be beyond reproach caused her to keep me a secret. We dated in secret for 8 months, meeting in restaurants, parking lots, over time I came over to her house and hung out with her family but she would never meet mine nor display our relationship openly around others in our church. I thought I had loved before, but it was nothing compared to this and when it ended I cried for 3 months. I was devastated. It felt like I was drowning but couldn't kick hard enough to get my head out of water.

Looking back the pain isn't there anymore, but I can still see that version of me crushed and destroyed - weeping in the shower, in bed, while reading, on the train, didn't matter - despair and sadness can overwhelm you and literally define the parameters of your life.

That was 5 years ago, and it took about 6 months before the crushing pain went away, after that there were times when it came back, but it wasn't pain of the relationship I had lost, rather pain of shame. After another year that went away. Now, having been with several different women and learning a lot about who I am and what I really want; separating out the childish wishes from the reality of life, I'm reaching a point where being me makes me happy. Challenging myself to be something better every day, in one way or another, gives me hope and keeps me focused.

There is hope Dontrike, and it's hope you can't create or rely on others to give you, it's hope that comes after surviving the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and knowing that all of it was meant to bring you to where you are - at the precipice of something great. Time does heal all wounds, I know that's cliche, but it really does. Just keep your head up - keep riding your bike, keep going to work, keep living life and things will get better.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

Many people have those exact feelings when things break .. You didn't waste your time because she filled a need you had, you had good times together and with the relationship you had with her you grew a little ..you will also continue to grow as you deal with letting her go.
Just because you didn't get the end result you had hoped for or the relationship didn't last the forever does not make it a waste of time.. And caring and falling for someone doesn't make you an idiot.
You need to learn to like yourself and you will find there are more options out there..beyond this one girl.
I am sorry your heart is hurting. but you can and will ride the storm out. and you will find yourself in the sunshine again.

Right now the lightning from the storm is the only way to wake me up from my dead feeling.

Less jokingly I know I can, but if I go through the same things as when we broke up then it will be a month until I won't cry by the very mention of her name.

There is hope Dontrike, and it's hope you can't create or rely on others to give you, it's hope that comes after surviving the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and knowing that all of it was meant to bring you to where you are - at the precipice of something great. Time does heal all wounds, I know that's cliche, but it really does. Just keep your head up - keep riding your bike, keep going to work, keep living life and things will get better.

I know, it is just really hard. I expected my hard work to pay off and instead of waiting for something good to happen I could buy what I wanted with all of those points I earned from all the crap I have dealt with, but clearly I had a foreign currency of crap points.

[shordymac Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close shordymac]

dude... you're crying over a GIRL.

i cry too, but because of my depression, not over a girl. my depression revolves feeling like a piece of shit, because that's what my parents told me all my life.

my advice, better yourself. you seem to have many empty holes in your soul, if you are literally crying the fact that a girl won't be with you.

cut her from your life, and better yourself.

use it as gym motivation. i opened up a little to my best friend, told her i had feelings for her. she didn't respond well, so i was like you a little sad, but not on your level. all i did was use that rage and push myself in the gym. it helps.

you need to man up.

[TheSperminator Member of the Month Oct 12 Find all posts View Profile Close TheSperminator]

Being suicidal over a girl is just plain stupid. I know how powerful love can be, but comitting suicide because of the fact that you're frustrated someone doesn't love you anymore is just plain stupid.

You did everything you could, that's it. Keep your head up and move on with your life. Let her go. Go out meet some new people. Be proud that you cared so much about someone, and tell her this.

And for Christ sake stop tellling her your suicidal and stuff. It's not her fault.

Best of luck and be strong!

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

Sorry to hear your down. Ive been there. Its very hard and it hurts and I cried too (alot). I couldnt just be freinds after though because it would drive me crazy. Id want to do anything to get her back and in the end I might have looked like her best freind for it but inside it was driving me crazy I was setting myself up for more rejection and I was putting myself through it! Best thing to do is move on. There are plenty of ladies out there.

[arkham Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close arkham]

http://img1.ranker.com/user_node_img...n-photo-u1.jpg

[DarkSide Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DarkSide]

It will work out. Somehow it will. You tried your best with her. It's time to focus on other things besides your pain.

Dont tell us you don't have the ability to focus, because you do, and you know it. Whether you need to go to a yoga class, or start walking trails, you HAVE to change your daily routine. You have to temporarily fill the void she left until it can heal.

You only have one life. Wasting it on a girl who simply moved on with her life without you is unspeakable. Take your next breath, breathe deep, know that you are still alive, that you refuse to be beaten, and that you still have purpose.

Once you decide that your Life isn't over. Pick an achievable goal not too far in the future, and go get it. Use that as leverage, and do something else for yourself. Realize that Loving ones self is the only route to giving Love away.

Love Yourself. Get out of this hole, and once you do, never ever come back.

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

My first real break up was with a woman 7 years older than me, she meant everything to me, but her reputation and need to be beyond reproach caused her to keep me a secret. We dated in secret for 8 months, meeting in restaurants, parking lots, over time I came over to her house and hung out with her family but she would never meet mine nor display our relationship openly around others in our church. I thought I had loved before, but it was nothing compared to this and when it ended I cried for 3 months. I was devastated. It felt like I was drowning but couldn't kick hard enough to get my head out of water.

Looking back the pain isn't there anymore, but I can still see that version of me crushed and destroyed - weeping in the shower, in bed, while reading, on the train, didn't matter - despair and sadness can overwhelm you and literally define the parameters of your life.

That was 5 years ago, and it took about 6 months before the crushing pain went away, after that there were times when it came back, but it wasn't pain of the relationship I had lost, rather pain of shame. After another year that went away. Now, having been with several different women and learning a lot about who I am and what I really want; separating out the childish wishes from the reality of life, I'm reaching a point where being me makes me happy. Challenging myself to be something better every day, in one way or another, gives me hope and keeps me focused.

There is hope Dontrike, and it's hope you can't create or rely on others to give you, it's hope that comes after surviving the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and knowing that all of it was meant to bring you to where you are - at the precipice of something great. Time does heal all wounds, I know that's cliche, but it really does. Just keep your head up - keep riding your bike, keep going to work, keep living life and things will get better.

Yes Sir! Repped

[bigcock1 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigcock1]

BRO you gotta stand your ground man.. you cant cry while you are begging them for something cause then you look more and more pathetic... its one of those things she will notice afterwards when shes at home clipping her toe nails or something. get really mad at her (i mean call her a bitch and everything but make it look like its her fault. make her cry) then storm out and never talk to or about her ever again. for 3 months. and if she leaves you alone, NOW YOU CAN appologize for CURSING HER OUT RECENTLY but now she simply has to forgive you for cursing her out instead of remembering that she is not attracted to you or something... ask her to forgive you and that you will treat her like a flower, you should be touching her at this point (that part can never be tought it has to be natural) but TRY YOUR BEST TO TURN HER ON... AND.... WALLA the ball is in your court.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Hey Dontrike, nothing wrong with crying over lost love. I know some of you may be surprised that BigO would say that, if you are and you think I am a sissy then just take your head out of your asses. Making remarks that would say a man is less of a man for shedding a tear makes you ignorant. Got a problem with that than come out of your tough guy closet and say something, go ahead. I am waiting for you.
Sometimes the best things in life can cause the most hurt and feeling down and crying just show that you are a caring and compassionate guy. These qualities will make you very appealing to some one else. I am not saying that a blubbering cry baby is a good thing but this is not a case like that, you hurt and you need to deal with it in the way that helps you the best. Some day you will look back and remember the good and you will move on, she will be one of many relationships that may not work out. with each one you will be shaped into the man that some lucky lady winds up with. When she does she will be glad that life made you into the man she will call her own. I had relationships that I ended in my life and some that went the other way. In the end I eded up where I am at now in life. I wouldnt take the bad things out if I could do it over because I am happy with the man that I am today. Couldnt have got there on a different road my freind.
Take some time, hang out with freinds, see movies, go play some base ball or football with the guys. Kick some ones ass in a video game, just dont sit around and dwell.
You are just starting out in life and you hit the first big bump, fix that ride and drive it faster and enjoy the ride because there is alot of road left to travel.

[Squirtle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Squirtle]

I guess everyone who has been in a serious, loving relationship knows to a certain extend, how you feel.
And everyone will also tell you, that you can and will get over your ex. It has to be that way, otherwise we couldn't live a life where people are leaving us constantly (break ups, moving, death etc.).

And still, you definitely need to try to keep at least SOME of your integrity. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how shitty you feel, you will hate yourself for those moments, when your cried infront of her, begging her not to leave you etc, because you want to be a grownup man with a strong personality, a personality that doesn't get completely destroyed when someone leaves you.

You should focus now on those things you love to do. On your friends, your family, your hobbies. If you dont have things you love, that is most likely the reason why you feel so desperate, suicidal down right now. Everyone needs things in life that he can come back to no matter what. Be it your friends that you can count on, a band you play in or the gym that makes you feel better. If you have something to lean on and come back to, losses won't hurt you as much. Of course there are other important factors like selfesteem etc., but from my experience, and I have done the same freaking things you have done, with the same thoughts you have thought, what will help you the fastest is being constantly distracted with things you love to do. Making new memories to get rid of those attached to your old partner, seeing other girls and so on.

Actually, I have just searched for a video that I came across after my last break up. This guy is pretty funny but he does have some really valid and helpful suggestions. So take a look at it: How to get over your Ex