The infamous girlfriends slutty past....

[hsguy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hsguy]

Bottom line, there are no trust issues in my relationship with my girlfriend. Cheating, past or present, is not an issue. According to her, I am the best lover she has ever known at 7" length and average girth. She told me she has only been with one guy before college (we are both rising sophomores), but he was 9 inches in length and was "huge and hurt me".

We have been hooking up consistently since first semester of freshman year and are now monogamous going into our sophomore year. She has claimed that I have had sex with more people than she has, but she has had more one-night-stands during college, including one with my good friend at school.

Would anyone else be bothered by the mental images of the girl they love being BANGED so casually by random guys in a hedonistic college environment? And what does this activity say about her personality/character?

I truly enjoy being with her and value our relationship, but I can't stop picturing her doing slutty stuff BEFORE WE EVER MET, and I feel like I cannot take any pride in being with her because she has surrendered herself too easily in the past.

Can anyone offer past experience/insight into my situation? We both are in love but I cannot stop thinking about her SLUTTY PAST.

[Steve23 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Steve23]

What if you had many one night stands before you met her, would you want her to judge you and base your character or personality on that?
Maybe she just didn't want a boyfriend in college and just wanted sex(Like most college kids want)
As long as you have no trust issues then I find you shouldn't be worrying about the past.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Yeah what Steve said..

[LovePE Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close LovePE]

What Steve said

[Padawan787 Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Padawan787]

Would anyone else be bothered by the mental images of the girl they love being BANGED so casually by random guys in a hedonistic college environment? And what does this activity say about her personality/character?

Um, it is college, isn't that what everyone does?

Who is she with now? oh you?

Is it exclusive? oh yeah it is!

Does that mean she likes you? yep it does!

Should you stop worrying? yes

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

I honestly think it shouldnt matter what you or her have done in the past if it doesnt effect the future. I think that each relationship should start with a clean slate and the only thing that matters are your own feelings for each other. The past is a burden that no relationship should endure. If you like her forget it and focus on the future if you fall in love marry her. Go where it takes you and have fun.

[hsarge Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hsarge]

You are the one with the problem. I guess she didn't have a right to a life before she met you? And when did you become so perfect? Maybe she should feel that way about you. It must be so uplifting to Be so perfect that you can sit in judgement of others.

[hsguy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hsguy]

sarge, there is no need for a sarcastic response. I think you missed the point of my post, which is my fault for poorly communicating.

It is not about judgement, and it is not for me to tell people what they can or cannot do. I fully support women in their right to pursue sex with whomever they please.

Its more of the mental imagery which sucks. After all, she did sleep with my ROOMMATE is who is one of my best friends. I was only asking if anyone had ever been in a similar situation and their reactive thought process.

What if you ever found out that your significant other had sex with your best friend, or multiple men you know and see weekly, before your relationship? If you can honestly say that would not bother you even a little bit, even for an instant, than I suppose you are a better man than me.

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

I have had sex with ex's of my freinds and vice versa I never had a problem with it.

[Geezus Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Geezus]

i can completely understand your situation. Im going through that right now, it is horrible to think that they have slept around with multipul random men that they may have only met that night, got drunk and horny and just wanted sex
BUT hell iv done aswell, although it disturbes me that she has had many more one night stands than i have and was so willing to seemingly in my eyes give herself to anyone. but then for girls with a bit of good looks its alot easier "hes cute, il take him" i just think if i was hounded be women everytime i went out and had the pick of the bunch for one night id surely be taking up the offers if i was single and horny. so maybe its a jealously thing
i know that years ago she fumbled around with my best mate but i didnt really know her then and more recently before we got together she went home with another close mate, luckily never did anything as she was sick everywhere. but it was me she wanted to see that night asking me to come out and i didnt show so my bad.
But if you love her and she loves you and you believe her then deal with it, took me awhile, and i would never like to leave her alone with either of them if we were out but you cant blame her for having fun if she was young free and single

whats give me the right to be so hipocritical of her.
She didnt know we would get together or even really knew me at all she was just ahving fun,

[hsguy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hsguy]

Geezus, thanks for your insight. I do believe I am being overly prideful and overthinking the situation. After all, I do have a past of my own. It is certainly hypocritical for me to hold her past against her, she never did anything intentionally to hurt me and this was before we had got together.

I guess I'll get over it, she's done nothing wrong. The image of my best friend bringing her home from the bar, and pounding her in the bed next to me while I was passed out drunk, still poisons my mind for now.

Whatever, all the shit i go through is only motivation to keep up PE and improve my personal life.

[Influence Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Influence]

You must decide whether she is worth the struggle of change.

It's easy to say forget about what she did and just deal with it... But it's not that simple. If we lived in a perfect world with perfect people - that would work.

I've been on both ends of the spectrum - crazy jealous when I was a kid (not that you are) and rationally accepting now.

And though I'd accept the baggage of the woman I love - I would never allow myself to fall for someone who's fucked a friend. There are too many women in this world to settle for damaged goods.

Most women you meet won't be virgins. And there's absolutely nothing wrong if a woman has slept around. BUT, it's something completely different when she's fucked someone you know.

In my book that's an automatic no. In yours it may not be. Just look at the situation rationally

Good luck

[Jayj Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jayj]

I agree with Influence on pretty much everything. I just want to add a little thing :

I guess I'll get over it, she's done nothing wrong. The image of my best friend bringing her home from the bar, and pounding her in the bed next to me while I was passed out drunk, still poisons my mind for now.

Did you know it before getting into a relationship with her ? If yes... well that sucks but you can't blame her now can you?
If you learned it after you started dating her then it's a whole other story and it all depends on you and what you can accept.

I know for example that I couldn't be with a girl who fucked my best friend while I was sleeping next to them (even if they were drunk) before we started dating :/

That's... disturbing...

[hsguy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hsguy]

Jay, I did know about it. You are both right that I can't blame her because I made my decision already knowing this.

Its just kind of embarrassing that all my friends know about this situation and her history of one night stands.

And also Im not questioning if i should break up with her, thats not the point of this thread. Shes great and the only thing I would change about her is that disturbing fact. After all, Ive done my fair share of sleeping around and displaying questionable judgement.

I guess Im just venting. As of now i dont intend to break up with her, the thought of that makes me sad. But I dont know if i see us together long-term yet either. Ill probably look back on this someday with good memories of a sexy, fun girl.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

She had sex before you and that is that, what can you do. Dump her and find another girl that has had sex too. You just have to stop thinking about it. You will have the same issues with every other girl. She syas that you are #1 and she IS with you so be happy and treat her well. Not much else you can do but let it go or let her go.
I hope you can process it and then shit can the thoughts. She sounds pretty cool. Dont eff it all up over her past. Good luck.