Sex once a week?

[Thirdeye Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thirdeye]

Hey everyone, so, I fear a grave issue is arising in my relationship with my girlfriend. In the beginning, we were having sex about 4 times a week, if not more. 5 months in, were down to sex once a week, if that. I ask her many questions as to why this is the way it is now, and she simply just says, "I'm just not in the mood"
She's NEVER in the mood anymore. Last week, today, we had sex 3 times back to back to back. I came, went again. Came, went again. Came, went again. You get the idea. However, we were both at a get together and were pretty drunk. After we walked back to my place we proceeded to have sex in the shower and twice on my bed.
I know she's not cheating on me, she never would have time to. She's always working, or with my friends mom at her place (it's where she's living at the moment). I'm usually always there too, and she's showed me her phone, no suspicious texts or calls.
She claims she is still attracted to me and loves me to death, but just is "never in the mood".
I tell her every time how this makes me feel. It makes me feel unattractive, or that there's something wrong with my dick, or I just don't suffice. As some of you know, I had surgery on my dick 5 times to fix a fistula and hypospaidious. I'm very self conscious about my dick, the size, and how it looks aesthetically. She says nothing's wrong with it and she loves it, but, I just don't know.
I almost feel like the girl in this situation. She's all sweet to me and really really affectionate in the beginning of the relationship. Having sex often, going down on me often, etc.
Now? I have sex with her maybe once a week and she RARELY goes down on me. If she does, she either just licks it and doesn't even suck, or if she sucks, it lasts all but 20 seconds. I don't get it. Do I taste bad? What is it?
I precum a LOT and she always says how she doesn't like it getting in her mouth and I tell her I can't help it, I just precum enormously.
Anytime we do have sex though, she always says its really good. She says I'm incredible at going down on her. So with that being said, wouldn't you want to do something that feels incredible and is really good more often than once a week, if that? Nothing is adding up.
Anytime I try to talk to her about it now she just gets mad and asks, "why does it always have to be about sex? Why can't we just hang out and have a good time without having to have sex?" I tell her we can, and its not a problem, but if we have a great day, I'd like to make love to you at the end of it. What's the harm in that?
She says, "we don't always have to have sex! I just am not in the mood, it's always all about sex to you".
It's really not. If it was, I would have left long ago because she's not meeting my sexual needs. She's still not, but I love her so more than I love sex so yeah.

Anyways, what should I do? How can I bring it up to her again and have her be more open about it? I don't understand what's going on, but I'd like to.

If anyone women wouldn't mind commenting as well, I'd like to know what you think of this. Is she crazy? Is she a normal girl? Am I doing something wrong?

Please, anyone, help me.

- Thirdeye

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Thirdeye, it sounds to me like she's already told you what the problem is. She doesn't want it to be all about the sex. Do something else, like go stargazing, take her out to a movie, go to a fancy restaurant, get dressed up and out dancing, pretend that it's prom night, that kinda stuff.

The thing is, if she doesn't want it to be all about the sex, it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't want sex. It's just that you're going about it the wrong way, and she's letting you know. Ease up, man. Take the pressure off of the sex. Do something else, let her know you're completely capable of being a totally chill dude that can just hang out. Pay attention to her, give her love and affection, and cater to her needs. She'll be ready for some lovin' when she feels fulfilled in those other aspects.

And of course, the sex will be better when she wants it and is into it.

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

I started a thread about the same thing. Here is the link. Had lots of good replies. Enjoy.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...-lover-do.html

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey Third Eye,

A lack of frequency of sex the longer a relationship goes on is (sadly) not uncommon. Couples sometimes forget that intimacy and sex require the same level of commitment than any other worthwhile endeavour. There could be various reasons that are causing her current lack of sexual interest:

1) She is tired and stressed about things going on in her life that are causing her libido to take a nosedive. Sex begins in the mind and if her mind is focused on other things it makes it difficult, if not impossible to become aroused.

2) Her hormones are out of whack due to her birth control pills, health, etc.

3) She is angry at you for something and using a lack of sex as a punishment. Ask her if she is angry with you.

4) She is concerned that you only are interested in a sexual relationship with her and wants to determine whether or not that is true by refusing sex and seeing if you will still “want “her. Try showing interest in her like you did at the beginning of the relationship. Remember; women never lose the longing to be romanced and to feel special.

5) She has become bored – sexually. Again, not uncommon in long-term relationships. Try changing things up. You can find some ideas here: http://wp.me/p31Ekg-UM

6) She is sexually dissatisfied. And it has nothing to do with your penis! A great lover is seldom determined by his penis size and shape alone – it is what he does with that virile rod, what he does with his mouth and hands, how he makes a woman feel about herself, how comfortable he is with his own body, etc. Also, most men think that foreplay is necessary just before sex but it begins well before that –in fact, it often starts when your last sex session ended. If you rocked her world before, during AND after your last encounter, she will crave it much more readily the next time. And also remember that if you are hoping to have sex one evening, start the foreplay that morning – with kisses, caresses, sexy texts, sexual innuendo, etc., throughout the day.

7) If she has a problem with your copious amounts of pre-cum, which is beyond your control, consider adding a fun element like whipped cream, chocolate sauce or even candies to help her mask the taste. Here is some candy-coated ideas: http://wp.me/p31Ekg-12Z

8) It could be that going down on you is not pleasurable for her for other reasons. To help her better enjoy giving oral sex, try these tips: http://wp.me/p31Ekg-ZU

Good Luck!

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

Maybe she is just tired all the time. You said she is always working.
Did anyone think of that?

[Thirdeye Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Thirdeye]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I think you're all right when you say I've been making the relationship seem too sex oriented. I do, care about her and spend time with her and be romantic and love on her, but in my head and my sex drive, I guess I feel some sort of expectation of a "give back". So, with that being said, when she denies sex or anything sexual, I get frustrated. I don't masturbate, so I solely rely on her to get off. Sometimes I get really built up and the tension becomes massive. I guess I have to control myself more.

Maybe if I lay off the sex talk and just wait for it to happen, it will happen and more often.

She also mentioned something to me when I brought it up to her today.
She told me how her sex drive hasn't been as high lately, I think due to stress and she smokes cigarettes, so those too. But, those were and haven't been an issue, even in the beginning.
She also mentioned that she is turned on and horny and ready to go anywhere else other than my room. She says for some reason she just loses all drive to be sexual when we get to my room. I do still live with my parents so maybe that's a factor? I am getting out soon, but even still, it's odd my room causes her to feel that way. Maybe I'll just initiate a sexual advances in my car next or somewhere else, other than my room. Somewhere more, "taboo", if that's the correct word. Something more exciting.

Thoughts?

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I think you're all right when you say I've been making the relationship seem too sex oriented. I do, care about her and spend time with her and be romantic and love on her, but in my head and my sex drive, I guess I feel some sort of expectation of a "give back". So, with that being said, when she denies sex or anything sexual, I get frustrated. I don't masturbate, so I solely rely on her to get off. Sometimes I get really built up and the tension becomes massive. I guess I have to control myself more.

Maybe if I lay off the sex talk and just wait for it to happen, it will happen and more often.

She also mentioned something to me when I brought it up to her today.
She told me how her sex drive hasn't been as high lately, I think due to stress and she smokes cigarettes, so those too. But, those were and haven't been an issue, even in the beginning.
She also mentioned that she is turned on and horny and ready to go anywhere else other than my room. She says for some reason she just loses all drive to be sexual when we get to my room. I do still live with my parents so maybe that's a factor? I am getting out soon, but even still, it's odd my room causes her to feel that way. Maybe I'll just initiate a sexual advances in my car next or somewhere else, other than my room. Somewhere more, "taboo", if that's the correct word. Something more exciting.

Thoughts?

I'd be uncomfortable letting loose and having wild, monkey sex if I were in my boyfriend's bedroom while he still lived at home - I'd be stressed the parents or other family member might walk in - definite mood killer. Find somewhere else to have sex.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Hey everyone, so, I fear a grave issue is arising in my relationship with my girlfriend. In the beginning, we were having sex about 4 times a week, if not more. 5 months in, were down to sex once a week, if that. I ask her many questions as to why this is the way it is now, and she simply just says, "I'm just not in the mood"
She's NEVER in the mood anymore. Last week, today, we had sex 3 times back to back to back. I came, went again. Came, went again. Came, went again. You get the idea. However, we were both at a get together and were pretty drunk. After we walked back to my place we proceeded to have sex in the shower and twice on my bed.
I know she's not cheating on me, she never would have time to. She's always working, or with my friends mom at her place (it's where she's living at the moment). I'm usually always there too, and she's showed me her phone, no suspicious texts or calls.
She claims she is still attracted to me and loves me to death, but just is "never in the mood".
I tell her every time how this makes me feel. It makes me feel unattractive, or that there's something wrong with my dick, or I just don't suffice. As some of you know, I had surgery on my dick 5 times to fix a fistula and hypospaidious. I'm very self conscious about my dick, the size, and how it looks aesthetically. She says nothing's wrong with it and she loves it, but, I just don't know.
I almost feel like the girl in this situation. She's all sweet to me and really really affectionate in the beginning of the relationship. Having sex often, going down on me often, etc.
Now? I have sex with her maybe once a week and she RARELY goes down on me. If she does, she either just licks it and doesn't even suck, or if she sucks, it lasts all but 20 seconds. I don't get it. Do I taste bad? What is it?
I precum a LOT and she always says how she doesn't like it getting in her mouth and I tell her I can't help it, I just precum enormously.
Anytime we do have sex though, she always says its really good. She says I'm incredible at going down on her. So with that being said, wouldn't you want to do something that feels incredible and is really good more often than once a week, if that? Nothing is adding up.
Anytime I try to talk to her about it now she just gets mad and asks, "why does it always have to be about sex? Why can't we just hang out and have a good time without having to have sex?" I tell her we can, and its not a problem, but if we have a great day, I'd like to make love to you at the end of it. What's the harm in that?
She says, "we don't always have to have sex! I just am not in the mood, it's always all about sex to you".
It's really not. If it was, I would have left long ago because she's not meeting my sexual needs. She's still not, but I love her so more than I love sex so yeah.

Anyways, what should I do? How can I bring it up to her again and have her be more open about it? I don't understand what's going on, but I'd like to.

If anyone women wouldn't mind commenting as well, I'd like to know what you think of this. Is she crazy? Is she a normal girl? Am I doing something wrong?

Please, anyone, help me.

- Thirdeye

It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong at all. I think your girl just wants to be able to spend quality time with you WITHOUT feeling the obligation of having to have sex. And I say this because my own situation is very similar to yours. My gf and I have sex MAYBE once a month and that's only because between the two of us, we have 4 kids and very little privacy. My gf has openly told me that while she LOVES the connection sex brings us, whether it be physical or oral sex, she also likes the fact that we can spend time together and hang out and it doesn't HAVE to be about sex. Make sense?

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

I'd be uncomfortable letting loose and having wild, monkey sex if I were in my boyfriend's bedroom while he still lived at home - I'd be stressed the parents or other family member might walk in - definite mood killer. Find somewhere else to have sex.

Funny, I just did this last night.........my gf and I just said "fuck it" and had sex in my room (with the door shut) while my mom was in her room across the way watching a crime show.........and my gf is loud during sex so we went into it knowing she'd have to be quiet...lol........

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Funny, I just did this last night.........my gf and I just said "fuck it" and had sex in my room (with the door shut) while my mom was in her room across the way watching a crime show.........and my gf is loud during sex so we went into it knowing she'd have to be quiet...lol........

LOL...well then...good on you mate!!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

LOL...well then...good on you mate!!

Don't get me wrong, I'd PREFER she weren't around but when between me and my gf we have 4 kids and she has hers 24/7, we do what we have to do to take care of business....lol

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Don't get me wrong, I'd PREFER she weren't around but when between me and my gf we have 4 kids and she has hers 24/7, we do what we have to do to take care of business....lol

No need to explain...I agree...have it whenever you get the chance!

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

I am going through something simular. My wife is helping others or going to the gym or going out with freinds and she always comes home too tired or she stays up until im too tired. the way I see it its important to me a I will gladly make time for it in my life hell I'll miss work for it. It upsets me and I feel as though she is being insensitive to my needs actually. We have been together 18yrs and im honestly debating leaving her for this reason sometimes.

[minds eye Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close minds eye]

Funny, I just did this last night.........my gf and I just said "fuck it" and had sex in my room (with the door shut) while my mom was in her room across the way watching a crime show.........and my gf is loud during sex so we went into it knowing she'd have to be quiet...lol........

Im the the same position. I still live at home and my moms room is right above mine. My girls also loud but, i love covering her mouth when shes about to cum. To me its the sexiest fucking thing hearing her muffled moans and feeling her breath on my hand as i'm pumping away lol

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

I am going through something simular. My wife is helping others or going to the gym or going out with freinds and she always comes home too tired or she stays up until im too tired. the way I see it its important to me a I will gladly make time for it in my life hell I'll miss work for it. It upsets me and I feel as though she is being insensitive to my needs actually. We have been together 18yrs and im honestly debating leaving her for this reason sometimes.

Hey Fella,

Have you tried speaking to your wife about the lack of intimacy and sex in your relationship?