first time having sex? :S

[ajbo Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ajbo]

So hey guys, will keep it straight and simple.
I am 20 and both me and my new Girlfriend are virgins.
I heard a lot about not lasting long (not lasting a minute :P) during your first time but I also heard that if you masturbate before having sex you can last a bit longer.
But knowing that she is also a virgin, should I do this masturbation idea or should I just go in with no fear and just give it a 2nd go afterwards? (hoping that the 2nd round idea works) :P
I-have-no-idea-what-I-am-doing-300x161.jpg

So please if you have any suggestion/ideas/recommendations and heads up please share them with me :P

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey Ajbo,

I am not a guy but I am a sex blogger so I thought I would offer some insight regarding your question. Here goes...

Many guys can come pretty quickly the first couple of times when they first have intercourse. some don't even get the penis all the way inside before ejaculating. Anxiety can do that and there's nothing wrong with that. Ejaculating quickly may not be a bad thing for your and her first time. You need to remember that your girlfriend hasn't had a penis inside her vagina before. There is likely to be some rearranging or familiarizing that needs to go on inside her pelvis. So less thrusting might be better than more. It might even be that nature intended for male virgins to launch early inside female virgins.

Still, if you are worried about coming too soon, you get some really thick condoms to help dull the sensation.

I just wanted to let you know that your orgasm during intercourse might not feel as intense as when you are masturbating. After all, how many times has your unit been in your hand and how many times has it been in a vagina? When you masturbate, your fingers put pressure on the part of your penis that helps you get off. Vaginas don't have fingers. Also the sole point of contact, when you are masturbating is your hand gripping your penis; with partner sex, your whole body is feeling her whole body. It often takes time and experience to put lovemaking together in a way that beats masturbating. Give yourself time. The chances are, you're not the only nervous one between the two of you.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Okay TPW gave you some good detailed advice. My advice? Just forget about everything, go enjoy each other and get laid. You both will figure out what to do. This is one time in a male/female relationship where you should just use your dick instead of your brain!

[ajbo Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ajbo]

Will do
I really appreciate everything you guys said and TPW thanks for all the ideas and suggestions it really helps

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Will do
I really appreciate everything you guys said and TPW thanks for all the ideas and suggestions it really helps

My pleasure...go get her tiger!

[akaTrex Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close akaTrex]

I'll add become the KING of Oral. My IDOL was Gene Simmons!.............................Kidding!
Seriously I learned very early on that I was able to please a women many times before intercourse.

When it came to my first intercourse I must admit I had Lift Off before the count down was complete. I learned to use mind games to control my unintended Lift Off's.

Also you can apply a desensitizing cream on Mr. Winkie and then roll a condom or two on over the freshly desensitized Unit.

Then go Sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow and take your time.

[ajbo Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ajbo]

I'll add become the KING of Oral. My IDOL was Gene Simmons!.............................Kidding!

Seriously I learned very early on that I was able to please a women many times before intercourse.

When it came to my first intercourse I must admit I had Lift Off before the count down was complete. I learned to use mind games to control my unintended Lift Off's.

Also you can apply a desensitizing cream on Mr. Winkie and then roll a condom or two on over the freshly desensitized Unit.

Then go Sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow and take your time.

lol good one XD
I was thinking about Oral as well but to be completely honest I am not that much familiar with women and their orgasms, so I was afraid if I open with Oral how do I finish it? :P
I mean do I give her a full orgasm(s) with my Oral? (if possible), I know women can have multiple orgasms eh? but when do I stop/move into phase 2?
Actually speaking of Orals ,I am sure she will be as nervous as me but how do I approach her with the idea of her giving me one as well XD?

BTW I'v been trying edging lately and it seems that I have good control over ejaculation (can edge for 30 min straight) but not sure if that will help me with the real deal anyways :P

[Robberman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Robberman]

Best way to approach her on oral would be to openly ask her thoughts on you going down on her and her going down you and then go from there. Who knows, she may find the idea of you talking about oral a turn on

[akaTrex Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close akaTrex]

lol good one XD
I was thinking about Oral as well but to be completely honest I am not that much familiar with women and their orgasms, so I was afraid if I open with Oral how do I finish it? :P
I mean do I give her a full orgasm(s) with my Oral? (if possible), I know women can have multiple orgasms eh? but when do I stop/move into phase 2?
Actually speaking of Orals ,I am sure she will be as nervous as me but how do I approach her with the idea of her giving me one as well XD?

BTW I'v been trying edging lately and it seems that I have good control over ejaculation (can edge for 30 min straight) but not sure if that will help me with the real deal anyways :P

Thankfully our first time together I gave my now wife 3 oral orgasms before moving to intercourse. Glad I did as I found out that she was unable to Orgasm via intercourse. I gave her a few more that afternoon. Afterwards I invited her to take a shower with me and sent her home squeaky clean, walking funny and with a HUGE Smile on her face.

[bigben2012 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigben2012]

Don't have sex wait till your married. You've waited this long a ill while longer wont hurt. God is watching you my friend

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

lol good one XD
I was thinking about Oral as well but to be completely honest I am not that much familiar with women and their orgasms, so I was afraid if I open with Oral how do I finish it? :P
I mean do I give her a full orgasm(s) with my Oral? (if possible), I know women can have multiple orgasms eh? but when do I stop/move into phase 2?
Actually speaking of Orals ,I am sure she will be as nervous as me but how do I approach her with the idea of her giving me one as well XD?

BTW I'v been trying edging lately and it seems that I have good control over ejaculation (can edge for 30 min straight) but not sure if that will help me with the real deal anyways :P

Hey ajbo,

Without question, oral sex is an incredible method of foreplay but unless you are willing to go down on her for at least 15-20 minutes -which is the length of time it usually takes for a female to become highly aroused and thus ready for intercourse - you will either need to start an intense strengthening program for your mouth, lips and tongue or you can incorporate other forms of foreplay as well. Kissing and caressing her body, especially the erogenous zones can do wonders.

Now, a lot of guys would be delighted if their lover suddenly grabbed their penis and started playing with it. But females don't always appreciate or even do well with surprise grabs of their crotch. One of the reasons is because when a female is sexually aroused, her genitals grow as much as a penis does; but most of those changes are on the inside of her body, so you can't see all of them. This includes more blood flow around the vagina so it straightens out and puffs up; which helps make it ready for an incoming penis and also make intercourse feel better. If you start manual stimulation before she is adequately aroused, it can actually feel painful for her BUT it can feel awesome 15-20 minutes later when she becomes aroused through kissing and caressing and even a little dirty talk.

Finally, sometimes it makes perfect sense to go down on each other before intercourse but if neither of you have ever done it before, it can be too overwhelming - especially for her - so you may want to pass on oral the first time you have sex or at the very least the two of you need to decide together.

Last thing (I promise) - Don't have sex your first time while drunk or stoned. I know, I know this is often how it happens but the numerous horror stories from virgins who did it drunk should tell you that it is really something to avoid. Besides, couples who do it sober report a much better and far more satisfying time...

[CaptainJohnson Retired ModeratorSenior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CaptainJohnson]

Also, while some men cum too quickly, others don't cum at all the first time they have sex. Other guys still may also have trouble getting "it" up. Most of these problems are just a matter of experience and anxiety. As you continue to have sex, all this will become easier.

The important thing is to view sex as a game with no rules or winners. It is something you do just for pure fun and pleasure, just to touch and kiss each other in unique and brand new ways. Since your girlfriend is also a virgin, take your time with foreplay. Make sure you are both ready for penetration, and maybe keep a bottle of lube nearby just in case you guys decide it is needed. When penetrating, take your time. Go slow, and gauge her reaction. First-time sex can be painful for some women, so don't go straight to pounding her. Take your time, and keep the kisses coming.

[Gspot Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gspot]

Hey ajbo,
Last thing (I promise) - Don't have sex your first time while drunk or stoned. I know, I know this is often how it happens but the numerous horror stories from virgins who did it drunk should tell you that it is really something to avoid. Besides, couples who do it sober report a much better and far more satisfying time...

And some people sadly go through their entire life experiencing little more than drunk sex. I have turned down drunken girls, even older women a few times and never regretted it. I expect an engaged, capable lover (or lust partner in most cases), even if a one night stand. They did not know that sex is diminished greatly when intoxicated (or they did know and did not care or want to enjoy it too much). In fact, sex is intoxication, but instead of dulling the senses, it heightens them. Having a drink or two can help you, and especially women, to relax and indulge but more than that is negative. And if you get drunk yourself, your penis might not respond very well. I am hypoglycemic so very much alcohol and sex are impossible for me, and it is no loss at all.

Well, I do not know about virgins, but when you become more experienced and are with experienced women, go down between her legs until your jaw locks up! She might pry you away but insist softly on your great pleasure at returning between her thighs for several minutes. In fact, take a motrin so you can stay for long periods of time, then enjoy intercourse and/or other sexual act for a while and then come back to eat more of her! The changing sensations and unexpectedness all add to the enjoyment. Women seem to respond to that (strange I could not find and emoticon for : OOOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!)

[akaTrex Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close akaTrex]

Ditto Gspot!

Believe it or not but I have turned down drunk sex from girl friends and wives. Including a couple of married women that were not my wife. Who says Chivalry is Dead!

They begged or were pissed but thank fully didn't remember the next morning.
The next morning if they were not hung over ...............Game On!

And of course not with the other married women. :-)

[ajbo Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ajbo]

but unless you are willing to go down on her for at least 15-20 minutes -which is the length of time it usually takes for a female to become highly aroused and thus ready for intercourse

Well my dentist told me that I am lucky because I have a very strong tongue and the nurse was amazing for some reason :P so hopefully that is a good sign XD

But females don't always appreciate or even do well with surprise grabs of their crotch.... she becomes aroused through kissing and caressing and even a little dirty talk.

Got it, so alywas start with some kissing on the lips for a while and then slowly to the neck and so forth until reaching that area eh?
I acutally have a question regarding that. You said it takes around 15 mins, I am guessing I'll be aware with the moaning if she is getting close to oragasm right? So is there a moment where she will ask me to stop doing oral (I am assuming it gets really sensitive) and if so, do I actually stop or keep going for a small bit more?

Don't have sex your first time while drunk or stoned.

will do, thanks for the heads up