wife/gf earning and being more succesful than you - does it bother you?

[billows Member Find all posts View Profile Close billows]

Hi
Just wanted to know how the guys feel about this does it get to you and would love the ladies views about it. i dont mean to come across as sexist or anything, i'm really sorry if i do. Its just something i've been thinking about lately and wanted to know what any of you think

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Her earning more doesn't bother me. Her prioritizing her job over me does bother me.

[alan020 Member of the Month Jan 13 Find all posts View Profile Close alan020]

I wouldn't say it would bother me but rather make me feel inadequate because I feel I should be the one out earning for her. That's not me being sexist its just I feel I should be able to support her as much as possible.

Then again if she is happy earning money and doesnt hold resentment against you for being out working if she feels she shouldnt then so be it.

I guess when you are in that situation you really need to pull your weight at home in regards to cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids etc.

[GTG Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GTG]

Personally, I think it would bother me, and motivate me to become more successful.

It wouldn't be an issue though, it would be a purely selfish, motivational thing. A bit cave-man-esque. I like to think I set high standards for myself, and being a provider, and enabler would fall into that. However, I know it is really nothing to have an issue over, as in my opinion that would be a-bit, I don't know, extremely selfish and misogynistic.

Atleast thats my opinion

[DaddyDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DaddyDick]

It must bother me a bit because I decided to start PE. Now I am over it.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

Sometimes it is helpful to pretend "the shoe is on the other foot"; put yourself in the other persons position. Often you might discover you need a different outlook on the situations.

[DaddyDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DaddyDick]

Sometimes it is helpful to pretend "the shoe is on the other foot"; put yourself in the other persons position. Often you might discover you need a different outlook on the situations.

That is true. If the person did not love you they would not work hard to provide for you or the family. They would just leave. I believe that I have figured this out without her knowing.

[billows Member Find all posts View Profile Close billows]

I think i kinda agree with everyone.lol. I do know that if it bothered her a lot she wouldnt be with me. I do however want to do better and earn more because of it ( i think theres a bit of caveman in me as well ). However, considering our professions, chances are i'll never earn more than her and because of this i feel like i need to be perfect in every other aspect. PE, working out are all a priority for me now because of this. Its very silly because she has no problem at all. This is just something that i need to grow up and deal with - i do believe it will take some time for me though.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I had a friend who had a good job in I.T. His wife became a corparate high flyer, she earned so much money it wasn't worth hin working, what with tax etc , besides he had to move all the time because of her jobs. He became a house hubby and became good at cooking and cleaning, they have no kids .

[billows Member Find all posts View Profile Close billows]

Do you think he is happy?

[DaddyDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DaddyDick]

I had a friend who had a good job in I.T. His wife became a corparate high flyer, she earned so much money it wasn't worth hin working, what with tax etc , besides he had to move all the time because of her jobs. He became a house hubby and became good at cooking and cleaning, they have no kids .

Where do i signup? I don't even need cooking classes.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Sadly, I have a known couples who have split precisely because of this issue. The husband/partner somehow felt "less than" and this created other relationship problems.

[vulcan Retired ModeratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close vulcan]

It must bother me a bit because I decided to start PE. Now I am over it.

Wow DD, you have managed to earn from PE - good going.

[DaddyDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DaddyDick]

It is really sad that Mr. Macho feels insecure that his wife got a big brake and he did not. People need to realize that times-be-a-changing and that it is not our dad's/grand dad's world anymore.

Why can't someone just be happy for someone's success?

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

I think income disparity may not be as big of an issue with couples who are married or in long-term live-in relationships because the income is often pooled together for mutual benefit. The resentment men feel is often those in the dating scene primarily because when dating a girl who makes more money, there is often a difference in where and what they do for fun, how they travel and even where they live.

For those husbands who do have an issue; it is often because they feel a societal pressure to be the primary earner; that provider and protector are what makes a good husband, good. When those roles are taken from them, however, it can lead these men to all kinds of emotional/psychological issues including sexual dysfunction.

EDIT: Men whose wives earn more money are more likely to cheat.