Things in common with your partner.

[Robberman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Robberman]

I'm currently in the middle of an internal battle, I'm involved with a girl and the affection side is great but I have this thought in the back of my mind where I don't think we have much in common and it's bothering me more and more.

So, I have a few questions:
1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?
2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?
3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?

Any other opinions on the subject would be greatly appreciated

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

Having things in common is critical.

It's a long story, but the short version is my wife and I (before we dated) became "best buds" for 5 years. We did everything together and loved eachother's company - without any affection or sex ever!! Then we got married and went through some hard times. If it wasn't for having so much in common we would not be married today. thank God we stuck together, cause now that we are older and more stable, we have a wonderful sexually charged and fun life together. So that's my story, take what you want from it.

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

things in common

shooting
racing
fishing
movies
spending time with kids and family
eating italian food
being together

we went racing and fishing or out on a date when we first met

[gettingintoshape Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gettingintoshape]

I'm currently in the middle of an internal battle, I'm involved with a girl and the affection side is great but I have this thought in the back of my mind where I don't think we have much in common and it's bothering me more and more.

So, I have a few questions:
1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?
2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?
3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?

Any other opinions on the subject would be greatly appreciated

Yes, we had a lot in common and quickly realized we were soul mates.
Very, you have to enjoy each others company. My wife and I were best friends before we married and remain best friends to this day.
Yes, but you will still need to have things in common, other than sex. Is is also important that each person have their own identity, but at the end of the day you can come back together and enjoy your time.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Yes my bride and I have much in common. She likes to do everything that I like to do whether she likes it or not. It is as it should be!( and we're pretty good friends, as long as she sees things my way!) Okay can I help you in any other way?

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

A happy wife provides a happy life. So says she who must be obeyed.

[CaptAbe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CaptAbe]

My wife and I have much in common also. It's comforting knowing that the person next to you understand the messages they are trying to convey with little effort. Cuts down on the frustration of trying to decipher "woman speak". We were co-workers, then we dated, then married. What's funny is her mother actually set us up, she told my wife that she met someone just like her.

So yea I think having stuff in common is very important, although opposites can survive a long term relationship, they still need to have something in common other than fun in the bedroom. Also personality type need to compliment each other.


~Abe

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?

Yes, when me and my wife met we had quite a bit in common, personality and interest wise.

2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?

I think it's important. Sharing similar views and common interests makes getting along easier. You want to be able to share things with each other, and having something in common makes that more possible, and pleasurable.

However, having differences can be a plus as well, keeping things interesting.

3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?

I suppose so, it's not unheard of. It would probably take very good communication, understanding, and an open mind.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

I'm currently in the middle of an internal battle, I'm involved with a girl and the affection side is great but I have this thought in the back of my mind where I don't think we have much in common and it's bothering me more and more.

So, I have a few questions:
1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?
2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?
3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?

Any other opinions on the subject would be greatly appreciated

Yes, my fiancee and I have a ton in common but have enough difference between us to make things work. Having some common ground in a relationship is one of the keys to relationship success. If both of your interests are totally different, it may not work out. That was my ex wife and myself....just didn't have enough common ground between us.

I think every relationship, in order to be successful, needs some common ground. That's not to say, however, that there are exceptions to every rule.....

[wannahung Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close wannahung]

my wife and I had sex before we even said a whole sentence to each other. We moved in together immediately, I did things she liked she did thinks I liked but we are opposite in everything. That was 17 years ago and we have a great marriage. just goes to show a successful relationship can be built off great sex

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

My GF have very little in common. Probably why I don't see a ring in her future with me. I just don't want that with her unfortunately.

Making due right now for budget reasons. Fixing things that may be broken, but as it stands, she and I don't really have much in common and she's said as much.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

I'm currently in the middle of an internal battle, I'm involved with a girl and the affection side is great but I have this thought in the back of my mind where I don't think we have much in common and it's bothering me more and more.

So, I have a few questions:
1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?
2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?
3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?

Any other opinions on the subject would be greatly appreciated

Hey Robberman,

It really depends on what you don't have in common. Is it your core values and beliefs? Your hobbies and social interests? Your political/religious/cultural views? Your sexual preferences/relationship perspectives? Your personalities? While some differences are far easier to accept and assimilate, there are others that won't be so easy to resolve and will likely cause problems within the relationship later on.

Having said that, I do not think it is essential for the success of a relationship that couples have EVERYTHING in common; in fact, many relationships not only survive but thrive when couples have different interests because it can lend a continuous air of mystery and adventure to the relationship; which is always a plus.

Keep in mind that many differences can be resolved with compromise and time but only you and your girl will be able to determine that.

Good Luck.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

I'm currently in the middle of an internal battle, I'm involved with a girl and the affection side is great but I have this thought in the back of my mind where I don't think we have much in common and it's bothering me more and more.

So, I have a few questions:
1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?
Yes very much. What struck me initially was his wit/humor.

2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?
Extremely important! It is the communication and friendship that sustains a relationship IMO

3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?
Opposites attract and that can last a VERY long time. But in the end (everyone's end is at a different age/time) it doesn't hold up IMO

Any other opinions on the subject would be greatly appreciated

Sometimes just because someone has not done something before or like something doesn't mean they wont. I think if you like her then try to do stuff together you like. She may find out its cool/great and then BOOM another thing in common. Same thing with you and her. I find many people look at the list and shy away. Rather than actually doing the new things together and creating an US list

Good luck

[mrimalive1 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mrimalive1]

We both like free style music,cornbeef with white rice is our favorite dinner.we both like to dance bachata.
We both have the same favorite tv show(law and order special victims unit).
One of our biggest thing we talk about with each other is fashion.I like to dress nice and she values my opinion when it comes to how she looks and dresses.

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

My GF have very little in common. Probably why I don't see a ring in her future with me. I just don't want that with her unfortunately.

Making due right now for budget reasons.

I didn't know nice women cost more? Hmmm, I suppose that helps explain why I'm so broke.