Toys and Porn

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Hey everyone!

After seeing a recent post it made me wonder, are there similarities between porn for guys and toys for the ladies?

In both instances, there is a non real human counterpart that is the source of stimulation, that is not the masturbator's partner.

Since some guys suffer from such things as ED, Pre E and DE from watching too much porn, could using toys desensitise or maybe over-sensitise a woman to her partner? Can they become addictive?

I'm aware that some ladies find it extremely difficult to climax and couldn't do so without mechanical stimulation.

But do ladies find manual stimulation (+/- the man) less exciting after toys, in other words do you reach orgasm as quick as you did before you discovered toys?

How do ladies feel about your guys watching porn? And guys how do you feel about your ladies using toys??

And last of all does any one think there may be similarities between porn and toys? Or do you find they are nowhere near similar?? and I'm just crazy?

Don't get me wrong here ladies it is not my intent to deny you of your sex aids, I've even encouraged Mrs Basset to get some if she wants, but she is happy with manual stimulation and sordid novels (as well as my efforts), she doesn't mind me watching porn (at least she tells me she doesn't), which is very rare as I am blessed with an explicit imagination.

I know there are a few questions to answer in amongst my wondering's, so I invite comment from any and all, it would be interesting to see people perspectives on this.

I was unsure quite where to post this as it concerns both parties and covers multiple topics, but felt it best here, feel free to move where necessary.

Many thanks, Burty

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

Very interesting question you pose. I can say from my experience the wife doesn't use toys too often. It's something she will bring out from time to time or to try something new. Perhaps to stimulate multiple places at one. My wife used to use toys more in the past but has stopped using them some over time. She says that manual stimulation from me is better than from a toy. She says I get her off better than the toy. We'll watch a movie together from time to time. It's not something that we do often but we'll do from time to time. She does have an issue when I watch it alone. She asks if it's that she's not enough or wanting something she's not or won't do.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

You may find the following threads relevant to your inquiries.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym/522...hindrance.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...-together.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/womans-...toy-sizes.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/womans-...turbation.html

https://www.pegym.com/forums/womans-...-toys-why.html

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Very interesting question you pose. I can say from my experience the wife doesn't use toys too often. It's something she will bring out from time to time or to try something new. Perhaps to stimulate multiple places at one. My wife used to use toys more in the past but has stopped using them some over time. She says that manual stimulation from me is better than from a toy. She says I get her off better than the toy. We'll watch a movie together from time to time. It's not something that we do often but we'll do from time to time. She does have an issue when I watch it alone. She asks if it's that she's not enough or wanting something she's not or won't do.

Thanks for the reply Bigdaddy55, it's nice to see that your wife can take or leave sex aids and is more excited by your touch.

I thought it interesting since my wife has also shown no desire for toy's since we have been together, but she says she has them in the past.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Interesting (and loaded) question Burty.

I have learned, and believe, that the main source of women's orgasms are from clitoral stimulation. Whether it be from direct stimulation, or secondary, it makes sense to accept and encourage that in the pursuit of pleasure.

I think part of the problem us guys have with it is seeing it as an outside source giving the pleasure. But, in fact, it is controlled by either the woman or ourselves. So really, it's just an extension of us, similar to using our hands. And from what I've read here, and been told by my wife, is far more pleasurable when used in a partnered situation. So really, us being involved makes the difference.

I think the other part is, like with porn, over use causes issues. Desensitization through over stimulation, creating a need in the body for that level of stimulation to have an effect. Same with porn, the answer is to abstain, and let the body recover back to being responsive to "low level" stimulation. Not sure though, that if long term desensitization occurs, if someone is permanently affected.

Personally, I have no problem with toy use by my wife. It can be fun, something we can explore together, and don't limit it to just clitoral vibrators. It's not something she needs, or that we do every time, but can add additional variety and excitement to our sexual play. It's just for fun, and that's a good reason I'd say.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Thanks for the links MrB8, I have read most of those before, but found the Sex Toy Dependence/Together thread and the Toys:Help or Hindrance thread interesting, these I had not read.

Us men have to tread carefully here I know, so as not to incur the wrath of the female vibe lovers, however I do find it interesting amongst the guys who are insecure about their partners using toys, do these same ladies have a problem with their men watching porn I wonder?

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Thanks workin_4_it for the detailed post .

My wife tells me she has used them before and apparently broken a few rampant rabbits. I have asked her if she would some new toys but has expressed little desire for them and has not owned any since we've been together, I'm all for it if she wants them.

I was going to ask about female desensitisation and possibly overcoming this, to once again be responsive to a lovers touch through abstinence and imagination.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Thanks for the links MrB8, I have read most of those before, but found the Sex Toy Dependence/Together thread and the Toys:Help or Hindrance thread interesting, these I had not read.

Us men have to tread carefully here I know, so as not to incur the wrath of the female vibe lovers, however I do find it interesting amongst the guys who are insecure about their partners using toys, do these same ladies have a problem with their men watching porn I wonder?

You will find guys insecure about the air they breath, let alone toys their partners use, insecurities are one of the worst things mankind has to face, we all have them, everyone differs in what causes their particular flavor, but we must fight them and not give up.

Personally, I would like my partner to enjoy toys, as mentioned above they can bring more fun and play into a relationship, they don't substitute for anyone involved, in my opinion, they can increase intimacy, communication and trust levels between partners.

Males should stop analyzing and over thinking stuff, instead of going with the flow, unless they are able to see the big picture and evaluate things on more than one level!

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

My wife likes me to tell her to use the toys. She loves the dick and toys together. Its hot when she comes hard and most of the time I have to hold the toy at the end. She can lose the ability to do so while she cums hard.

I love to watch her squirm and try to get away but since I am much stronger she can't. I win and so does she. We are a good orgasm team.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

My wife to be loves my built in toy and knows I watch porn periodically and doesn't mind and has in fact, offered to watch it with me. She, like me, knows it's as fake as it can be and it's like watching anything else Hollywood puts out. The people are paid actors, nothing more and nothing less. We also love the use of toys to spice things up..............it's ALL good in the hood :-)

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Thanks for the response Big O.

My Mrs also tries to escape, either that or I'm thrusting her away from me, so I have chase her round the bed. I don't think I would be able to hold on to one for her, since she heavily favours missionary position and my hands are usually either on the bed to support my weight or her hips/shoulders to stop her escaping.

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

Thanks for the response MrBigDick!

I have watched porn with Mrs Basset in the past, but I think it put her off for life, the film in particular had a crap storyline (like it needs it ), anyway she got irritated with all the BS in this film and we haven't watched one since.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Thanks for the response MrBigDick!

I have watched porn with Mrs Basset in the past, but I think it put her off for life, the film in particular had a crap storyline (like it needs it ), anyway she got irritated with all the BS in this film and we haven't watched one since.

My wife knows it's fake stuff but will watch it with me and then re-enact it :-)

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

My wife knows it's fake stuff but will watch it with me and then re-enact it :-)

You have a cool wife.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey Candyman,

I am not sure if it is because I am a sex blogger but I have a different perspective about the use of sex toys.

I do not consider the use of sex toys to be in any way similar to watching porn because the former is primarily physical stimulation while the latter is primarily mental stimulation. Now if you had asked if the use of sex toys was comparable to male masturbation I would absolutely agree.

I advocate the use of sex toys for women for a few reasons; it encourages masturbation which helps a woman to better understand her sexual body and how it can best be pleasured. She can then share that wisdom with her lover. It can help a woman achieve orgasm and the more frequently she can climax, the easier she can reach orgasm in the future; either alone or with her partner.

We also need to remember that vibrators and dildos are not a sexual replacement but a sexual accessory that simply adds a bit of variety to erotic play.

Regarding your question about manual stimulation being less effective after mechanical stimulation; some women find they have difficulty but most women don't. For these woman it is simply a different yet equally pleasurable form of stimulation.

Regarding desensitization and over-sensitization due to sex toy use, yes it can occur but it is usually in excess. As far as the use of sex toys becoming addictive; well as much as excessive masturbation can become addictive, I suppose.

About my guy watching porn; well that is sort of a tough one for me to answer honestly since he doesn't watch it. I do remember years ago, he and I rented a porn movie to spice things up but we couldn't stop laughing at the atrocious acting; so the intended purpose to arouse never actually occurred. We never rented another one as it seemed like a waste of money.