the worst thing ever just happened to me

[iDemandU2Grow Member Find all posts View Profile Close iDemandU2Grow]

[Picard Member Find all posts View Profile Close Picard]

Tough break there, mate. Just know you're far from alone.

Now, for the issue at hand. It's very important you communicate this to your girlfriend. I myself have struggled with this during my past relationship, but I've always been honest about our sex life, as was she. For some reason I too lose erection when wearing a condom, and believe me when I say that it has nothing to do with penis or condom size. From what I gathered it had a lot more to do with me masturbating a lot and with a tight grip. I'm not sure if you do this as well, but if you change your habits, everything will fall into place.

Now, I might be wrong in saying it has nothing to do with condom size. Have you tried different sizes/textures? Thinner condoms might be a short term solution for you.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

OK, I read your story and I'm sorry that happened to you. What I'm seeing as the main issue here is performance anxiety. Nothing more and nothing less. I don't think the condom size or anything else had anything to do with it. I think it was pure mental on your part. I don't agree with you putting your relationship on hold either. That's not fair to her. You want to work on yourself and that's great and I applaud that but you're at the same time wanting her to sit back and wait for you while you self improve. Why is it you can't self improve while dating her simultaneously?

If you're not doing any kind of enlargement exercises, I highly encourage you to do so. I had some performance anxiety with my current fiancee when we first met but things worked themselves out by me simply calming down and relaxing........for some people, being with a new partner can be stressful because you don't know what they expect out of you,which was the case with my fiancee and myself and now, when we get busy, we get BUSY but it took a bit to get our sexual chemistry down. This may be the case for you also. JMO.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

I agree, performance anxiety. I had many failed attempts with my now wife before we got married. On our wedding night, I had the strongest erection ever and orgasmed twice within 20 minutes. You need the right conditions to get it done right the first time.

[bolkonsky Banned Find all posts View Profile Close bolkonsky]

No big deal man it happens to all of us guys.. shoot.

Your beating yourself up for no good reason. I like what you did and make her feel like it was her fault... But call her ass up and get her back in the sac for round 2... I promise you two will get more comfortable with each other and be hitting every position known to mankind.

I guarantee you she is feeling like shit that she couldnt get you hard. Just call her and tell her to come over. Condoms are a boner killer i know. DONT GIVE UP. take things slow.

[Picard Member Find all posts View Profile Close Picard]

Hah! I started as early as 10! Ah well, sadly it's not a competition..

To address your current issues, take it from me that you should ban porn and masturbate less frequently. If you have the willpower, you can do this without too much trouble. Frankly, I'm impressed you already managed four days without porn or masturbation from the get go.

I can't help you with condoms because I never really bothered checking out everything there is. I have heard that Durex Fetherlite feels amazing, but I can't really confirm that statement.

The issue of performance anxiety has also been mentioned, and it's something you should definitely take into account. It's very common when getting to know a new sexual partner. In this case I think only time will help you, though exercise might distract your mind and help your physique.

The most important thing is that you should realize is that most guys go through this at some point. This is nowhere near a disaster and you'll get over it in no time.

[sssssteve Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sssssteve]

performance anxiety is a dick. that said... stop watching porn and over-masturbating. just enjoy the moment. joke and play around with this girl. dont use the over-used line "it's not you, it's me" though... just let her know you have a lot on your mind and it takes a while for you to relax.

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

edited by request

don't ever try and compare yourself to other partners. You will never know how they were and don't need to. It doesn't matter anyway she isn't with them anymore so be happy you have her and concentrate on being the best you can with her. And there is absolutely nothing sad about the size of your penis so get off that pitty party! That's another road you don't want to go down. You have what it takes to get the job done well so relax and give it time. If she is in it for a relationship she will be patient understanding & supportive.

[kak03 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kak03]

I´ve had one similar experience which I actually made a thread about. You could read that if you want. Anyway there are usually three different causes. The first and most easilly fixed one is porn. You´ve already cut that out so dont worry about that. Second reason could be a weak or unbalanced pelvic floor. I´ve had weak erections and kegels and especially towel raises helped me a lot. And the final and most detrimental reason is anxiety. Being nervous can make it hard to get it up and when you realize that it just gets worse. My tip for you here is to understand that it is normal and nothing to worry about. Next time you have sex I want you to be as open as you can. Talk with a full voice. And have fun. Stop focusing on pleasing her and just have fun.

So:
1. Stop watching porn
2. Kegels
3. Stop trying to please her and have fun.

And no more problem

[bolkonsky Banned Find all posts View Profile Close bolkonsky]

@bolkonsky definitely wasn't trying to make her feel like it was her fault, i tried my best to explain that it was all me and hopefully she understood that.

As far as i can see thats the only thing you did right.. LOL Her thinking it was partly her fault benefits you dude... open your eyes.

If she 100% thought it wasnt her fault and all your fault (example: she thought you were gay) she would be looking for another guy..

Dont over apologize to her.. Dont kiss her ass.... Just dont punish yourself by not having sex... Thats a terrible way to go..

Just get more comfortable with her... Tell her you want to wait a few days.. spend every day with her.. Your just nervous. Its happend to me alot man... Go read my threads I think they would help you. https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...-part-one.html
https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...-part-two.html

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

And no more problem

what about porn for educational purposes, how soon is to soon to do that?

No it is not educational, don't depend on it as a source of information.

https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...ornmother.html

[bolkonsky Banned Find all posts View Profile Close bolkonsky]

Porn for educational use?? ....

You just told the main Educational tool to go bugger off..

Call her up. Dont apologize... and tell her to get her sexy ass over to your house.

What is wrong with these kids?

How old are you ?

[JStars Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JStars]

iD,

Sorry it was such a cockup .. or cockdown....

SO, what to do about the Condom Condition? That is simple. Practice, Practice, Practice. But not around her. Do it by yourself. Overrrr and Over again until you can get er done without deflating and without even thinking...

And afterwards keep it on and maybe do some pretend doggystyle and see how long you can go for -- just doggying with your hand for stim. Should get better over time.

And oh one more thing. Get some emery boards for nails -- real 100 grit ones not the sissy ones for women -- and file those nails down to next to nothing nubs just at the finger tips and no sharp exposed edges or corners.
(And do your toes while you are at it .. chics hate long sharp toenails on a guy in bed for sure...)

Keep on working .. and report back on success...

J

[WIItard Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close WIItard]

FYI don't ever ask women about how many partners.

Do you really want to know the answer??

Women lie about how many, period. Even to themselves. They count boy friends not random guy while she was vacation. etc. Trust me I lived on a tourist island.

Don't ever ask , how did you get so good at that??? You know how??? Because I was banging her before you ever got to her. I did every freaky thing I could think and then moved on. Just don't ask stupid question.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Hang out with her, tell her you want to lay down with her and get naked. Get naked and relax, have sex when your bone tells you too. I guarantee if you just lay there and look at her it wont take long for the schlong to go north and then its on.