had sex with an older woman and my performance was lackluster. What the hell?

[Azorius Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Azorius]

hi guys. basically, i haven't been doing these exercises for long, maybe a couple months irregularly, but i've got an average penis size, about just over 5 inches in erect length and about the same in girth (when fully erect!). but i now understand why it's much better to have a bigger penis. i met an older woman on a dating site about a month ago and we eventually had sex on saturday night at her place, but my performance was so lackluster. i will be honest, i'm 25 and haven't had many sexual partners, so my experience isn't great, but i gave her lots of oral because my penis wasn't performing as it should have been. it kept going from limp to 80% erect and it was really frustrating me. in the end i wanted to avoid penetrative sex altogether and just give her oral, as she seemed to enjoy that. i just couldn't enjoy the sex because of my penis.

why does this happen? i wasn't feeling nervous or anything, i just guess my experience (or lack of) showed on saturday when confronted with trying to please an older woman. She was 43 years old, so there's 20 years difference in age almost. i am sure she's had great sex in the past, but i just know that my performance was disappointing.

When will this bigger penis come to me?! I am desperate to get it. Also, should i be exercising/jelqing every day to see better gains? i think my irregularity is what is not giving me consistent gains.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Anxiety. Okay next question. Hey while you're thinking of the next question do you have anythng for me to eat?

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

because my penis wasn't performing as it should have been. it kept going from limp to 80% erect and it was really frustrating me. in the end i wanted to avoid penetrative sex altogether and just give her oral, as she seemed to enjoy that. i just couldn't enjoy the sex because of my penis.

When will this bigger penis come to me?!

Dear, you should be worried about the EQ of your dick instead of getting it bigger!

I'd much rather have a 5 inch 100% EQ dick than an 8 inch anything less than 100% EQ dick.

Don't rush through exercises hoping for fast gains. These exercises take time and consistency on your part. Good luck to ya.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

There is nothing wrong with your penis, if you stop regarding sex as a performance and a competition with the ghosts of the past then everything will be okay.

The Perils of Goal-Oriented Sex

Debunking A Popular Myth About the Female Orgasm

Just relax and enjoy, if you don't stress it, your EQ will be high and both you and your partner will enjoy it a lot more, savor the experience and be in the moment, instead of worrying about this and that.


Gains will come if you are consistent and persistent, patience is very important. PEing everyday will only cause harm, you need rest and you must not over-train, your PIs will guide you on how to go with your routine, so listen to them carefully.

Physiologic Indicators (PIs) to Help Penis Growth!

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

i am sure she's had great sex in the past, but i just know that my performance was disappointing.

Hiya Azorius,

How do you KNOW that your performance was disappointing? Did she actually say that to you? Or are you just making assumptions?

And the fact that you are referring your experience to a performance is not in anyway helpful either. MrB8 has provided you with some worthwhile threads to read and SLU has provided you with excellent advice about the importance of EQ.

Now I am going to provide you with one more thread to read that will be very helpful:

https://www.pegym.com/forums/relatio...l-anxiety.html

[Joint-Expansion Senior Member Member of the Month August 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close Joint-Expansion]

As others have said, most likely performance anxiety. I have had that happen in the past. Don't beat yourself up over it. Really concentrate on your erection quality (kegels, jelqs, abstinence from porn, etc) and you will be just fine.

P.S.-Congrats on hooking up with an older woman-they are the BEST.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

I agree older women are the best! 😘👏👍

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

I agree older women are the best! 

Spoken like a true "older woman"! Sorry Landi but I just had to. You know I'm here and I am such a child! ( but you left yourself open for that one)

[Picard Member Find all posts View Profile Close Picard]

I wish there were older women at university. I envy you, OP.

[danimal1211 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close danimal1211]

I also find older women to be more open (often more open than I am) to just about everything sexually and in my experience show their satisfaction or lack there of more clearly. That being said I agree with everyone else that it's most likely a performance anxiety issue. I had my first similar experience when I was 27 only for me it was the woman that was the issue. On our date she told me she had wanted to hook up with my friend and only agreed to go out with me when she found out he had a girlfriend. She was downright rude the entire night, but we ended up at her place. Amazing what you'll put up with for a piece when you're young. I wasn't able to get above about 50%. I never hooked up with her again, but it got in my head and the next few times I had sex after that I struggled a bit but eventually got over it. I seriously doubt there are any physical problems for someone your age and over the course of the next couple weeks of routine PE, your EQ will be better than you've likely seen it in a very long time. Read the suggested reading above and learn to be a confident lover and everything outside of that will just be icing on the cake.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Spoken like a true "older woman"! Sorry Landi but I just had to. You know I'm here and I am such a child! ( but you left yourself open for that one)

It's ok cookie. I embrace my older women ness lol. Muah!!

[MrPriapus Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MrPriapus]

I wish there were older women at university. I envy you, OP.

Why? Experience is great, but I would never trade that in for age. Plenty of "experienced" women at university, you just need to put yourself around them.

[MrsLooking4more Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Feb 2013PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrsLooking4more]

I agree with the poster it was anxiety so next time just calm yourself down.

As a woman I agree with SLU EQ is where is at. My husband who is a member here came here because ED and he was already above average but what good does the size do, if you can perform intercourse is that is what you want?

We did all kinds of things for the years WE struggled with ED and Pre-E but so much of it is in the head, just like a woman's orgasm. In both cases you have to let your mind go and enjoy the moment. Good luck and don't beat yourself up, this has happened to all of us and one point or another. Have fun!

[asian_man Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close asian_man]

hi guys. basically, i haven't been doing these exercises for long, maybe a couple months irregularly, but i've got an average penis size, about just over 5 inches in erect length and about the same in girth (when fully erect!). but i now understand why it's much better to have a bigger penis. i met an older woman on a dating site about a month ago and we eventually had sex on saturday night at her place, but my performance was so lackluster. i will be honest, i'm 25 and haven't had many sexual partners, so my experience isn't great, but i gave her lots of oral because my penis wasn't performing as it should have been. it kept going from limp to 80% erect and it was really frustrating me. in the end i wanted to avoid penetrative sex altogether and just give her oral, as she seemed to enjoy that. i just couldn't enjoy the sex because of my penis.

why does this happen? i wasn't feeling nervous or anything, i just guess my experience (or lack of) showed on saturday when confronted with trying to please an older woman. She was 43 years old, so there's 20 years difference in age almost. i am sure she's had great sex in the past, but i just know that my performance was disappointing.

When will this bigger penis come to me?! I am desperate to get it. Also, should i be exercising/jelqing every day to see better gains? i think my irregularity is what is not giving me consistent gains.

big penis ain't going to please anyone if the hardness isn't there. take a deep breath and work on your quality of your erection.

[FinallyBig Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close FinallyBig]

I think because she was 43 and probably more sexually experienced than girls your age, you got intimidated. You had thoughts like, "She's probably had a lot of partners by now, she must have had guys way bigger than me, she'll probably be disappointed by my size, etc...." You psyched yourself out man! If you're having sex with a hot older woman you are already a winner in my book no matter what size your dick is. Be confident that by having sex with her you've already won and relax, your dick should get hard then. Unless she directly comments about your size/performance don't even give it a thought because it's not going to help you.