getting the girlfriend to do anal sex?

[jcm08 Member Find all posts View Profile Close jcm08]

Ive been dating this girl in which I fell in love with since April. Anal sex is very important to me and most times I can get what I want but this one wont budge. Ive set her down numerous times and explained how it will not be so bad but nothing works. I mean nothing. She wont even let me eat her ass I have to sneek and get it when im eating her pussy before she realizes it lol.

Apparently she has had one and one only instance with anal and it was very bad. No warm up or lube was used and she said she bled for awhile. I tried explaining what went wrong but I guess it was so much of a trauma she wont budge at all.

Ive managed to get a finger in and her not tell me no. She did at first. But thats it so far. What should I do? I cant make my needs just go away...ive told her that. Ive always loved women's assholes its something im born with. Should I just give up and let it go or keep trying to get into the holy grail of sex? (For me)

Thanks for any help.

[PanBird Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PanBird]

No it's not something you're born into.
If she doesn't like it, why push her? Let it go, and then maybe one day you'll get some when she wants to give you something special.

Born into? God these people...

[OneEyedWilly Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close OneEyedWilly]

You're 8 x 6, going for 9 x 7 and you wonder why she says no?!!! I'd be saying HELL NO

[burtybasset Retired Moderator Member of the Month May 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close burtybasset]

It's not something I've ever done or something I'm interested in, I think if you love this lady you should respect her wishes.

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

Anal is really overrated in my opinion.

You are also 8 x 6 so I would imagine your size would be an issue for anal for her too.

If she doesn't want to do anal, why try to get her to? Would you really enjoy having anal sex with her knowing that she doesn't like it/only doing it to please you?

Perhaps talk to her about why she doesn't like it. If it is because she doesn't enjoy it/moral reasons etc, then you should respect her wishes and drop it. If she doesn't want to do it because of her past experience of a guy not using lube/being rough, explain to her that you will use lube and be careful, if she is interested in trying it again.

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

You need to respect her wishes if you want her to continue to respect you. Getting someone to try anal if they do not have an interest in anal, is a long tedious process. You can begin by inserting your lubed finger a little in the beginning when she begins to orgasm and slowly increase the penetration a little more on successive sessions. This will get her to associate anal penetration with pleasant experiences.

You will need to proceed slowly over months before you slowly start to partially introduce your penis into the process.

[gerg Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gerg]

I never understood this whole anal sex stuff. Why play in the dump when the park is right next door.

[benschmidt Senior Member Member of the Month July 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close benschmidt]

Don't push the issue. It's okay to nudge a bit, but don't force it. If she's not entirely open to it and relaxed, she will not enjoy it and will want to do it again even less.

Odds are, if you give her time, she will open the back door when she is comfortable with it.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Sounds like she's just not into it, and you will need to let it go.

You can bring up the idea, tell her you're interested, offer suggestions to make it more pleasing and comfortable....but ultimately, if she doesn't want to do it, or doesn't like it, it's her choice.

Bringing it up repeatedly, and making her feel like she isn't meeting your needs because she doesn't like it, is only going to cause problems. The more you push the idea in that way, the more she'll hate it.

Her experience makes her hesitation understandable. Especially with your size.

So, will you consider her needs as well, or is this important enough to you to be a deal breaker? That's only one way to enjoy sex. There's plenty of others to move on to.

[Joint-Expansion Senior Member Member of the Month August 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close Joint-Expansion]

Generally, a gal will either be down for it, or they won't.

There's some women who simply HATE it, and some that are absolute fiends for it.

It sounds like you may have one of formers.

If you love her and really want to be with her, you might have to come to the realization that you may have to live without it. You can continue to try and express your desires, but if she's vehemently opposed to it, you are in for some frustration I'm afraid. If you don't see yourself settling down long term with her, then there are a million other gals out there who will certainly go there.

All comes down to how much you are willing to sacrifice to be with this lady. How much do you love her, and what can you settle with, in order to make things workable for you both.

[Pirate Retired AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Pirate]

Give up trying to convince her. She knows that you want it and will let you know if she changes her mind.
Yarrr!

[OneEyedWilly Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close OneEyedWilly]

As usual, everyone is offering excellent advice. Hopefully the OP will follow it. Anal is a very personal issue and must be dealt with in an extremely patient manner. It could take years, it might never happen, but if you truly love her, you'll respect her decision.

on the other hand... you could buy her an 8 x 6 strap on for her to use on you. That would be fair, right?

[jcm08 Member Find all posts View Profile Close jcm08]

Thanks guys for the ones that actually made meaningful posts I appreciate it. I figured id get some flame but thats typical on the internet lol but its all opinion no hurt feelings. Its a serious matter to me but it looks like I may have to let it go. Im not gonna dump her bc she won't do it so I guess ill live without it for now

Im just not gonna bring it up to her anymore. Somebody mentioned that she may bring up that she cant fit my needs....well this already happened. Alright im just gonna back off. Always got porn and fantasy right? Lol

[Pirate Retired AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Pirate]

I don't suggest that you suddenly go silent on the issue. Talk to her, listen to her, share your desires, your thoughts, and your decision.
Communication takes work and must not be taken for granted.
Yarrr!

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Fantasy, sure. Porn, not so much.

Don't turn to porn for something she can't or won't do. It's tempting to fulfill your fantasies, but she will be upset when (not if) she finds out. It will create the "I'm not enough" feeling with her.

Or in this case, even more.