I cant satisfy her

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

I hate to be this guy but after last night I know without a doubt size does matter. I had sex with my gf late last night and out of curiosity I asked her how good it was and she said "It was pretty good but from her tone of voice in her mind she was probably thinking it was mediocre". Now I know I never should have went there but I did and i asked how I compared to her ex. I could tell she felt very uncomfortable with this question and just said "I don't want to make you jealous" But I kept prying. Eventually she ended up telling me sex with her ex was way better and i didn't compare. I then asked why he was so much better and again she didn't want to tell me so I knew it was bad. She said it was because his dick was bigger.

I felt sic to my stomach and it was so painful hearing those words. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die! I then asked her if she had sex with him more and she said yes and that a lot of the times she initiated it. 90% of the time im the one to initiate sex with her. I also put in a LOT of effort, I finger her and eat her out for a good while before I even penetrate her. I go above and beyond because its important to me that my partner is satisfied. This whole time Im thinking Im doing the job for her but now I hear from her that I dont satisfy her. Her words "Your not bad but your not good, mediocre". I also asked is this the reason you don't feel up to having sex most the time and she responded with yes. I go above and beyond in the bed with her and her ex never even ate her out or did much of foreplay but yet I don't compare.

So to break it down: her ex put in way less effort than i did but yet got way more unsolicited sex than me just because he was larger. Whenever we have sex most the time its like its a chore to her like "duty calls". It would feel nice to be wanted/desired but it hurts so much that im not because of my dick size

This kinda destroyed me in ways that I have never experienced. I couldn't sleep at all last night after this and had work in the morning. For 8hours at work I was extremely depressed and I had to pretend like nothing was wrong because of costumer service. I dont want to be mellow dramatic but I feel like Im having a mental break down. Ive been having thoughts of suicide and the only thing keeping me from acting upon this is PE. Wow if it wasn't for PE and this site I would be in way worse shape than I am now. This site has been a blessing to me. Her ex was 8inches and she was there when he measured so its not an exaggeration. I know that with dedication and time that i might be able to reach this length in some years. This thought does help and is basically the only thing keeping me going but this doesn't change the fact that I feel utterly destroyed.

I know some of you guys are going to say that she is just playing head games with me but this coudn't be farther than the truth. This girl loves and cares about me and she didn't want to tell me this but I was the one to open pandoras box. The tone of her voice when she was telling me this wasnt in a mean way but a "im being completely honest way".

This girl is amazing and she still loves and wants to be with me even though sex could be way better. i love her to and Im glad that she chooses to see the positives I bring to her life instead of breaking up with me like some girls have done because of their bfs size. I know this probably sounds really pathetic and weak but imagine what this does to a mans confidence knowing that what he brings to the table sexually is something that has to be over looked.

Sorry for the long post guys but i just really had to get this off my chest. I just feel so beaten down.

[drfrankencock Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close drfrankencock]

I'm sorry. That is a horrible situation to be in. Keep on growing!!!

[downthere Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close downthere]

this-moment, that has got to sting like crazy. If I were you, I wouldn't go around all sad-sack around her. If she loves you like you said, just be fun and energetic around her and do PE in the meantime. You're right, you did open Pandora's Box. I kinda give her kudos for telling the truth. I hate liars. It hurts, but you asked for it, and that's why I never went there with my wife.

Are you able to please her to orgasm in the other ways you described?

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Well, I'm sorry to hear this. First, get those self harming thoughts out of your head. No...you will not let the opinion of another make you do something so drastic. The opinion of another does not make it true, or make you less. It is simply their opinion.

I think there's something else. That may not make it any easier to hear, but I do. You are after all only an inch away from 8, with a sizeable girth. Honestly, that's not enough to make those kinds of statements. It's just not.

It is an easy answer, that (as far as I can guess) she would believe is unchangeable.

So, an inch - just one inch - makes foreplay unnecessary, increases desire and enjoyment, changes mediocre into good, and trumps emotional connection and a considerate lover who goes out of his way to please his woman? I just can't see that.

Yes, you went where you shouldn't have, and compared yourself to her ex. The ladies here have stated that puts them in a no-win predicament. Be honest and possibly hurt feelings, or lie and risk damaging trust. But presentation is a choice, and honesty doesn't have to be brutal or hurtful. Her comments prior indicate she knew the effect it would likely have.

So, we know that size can be increased. But, what if it couldn't? What then? It sounds like she loves and cares for you, so if this really bothers you, communicate. Talk about what she would like, since "making it bigger isn't an option". *ding* You asked to find the problem, so follow through. Ask to find the solution, and therein lies the root!

Keep your head up bud. There is no problem that is unfixable. Some easy, some hard, but all fixable.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

I'm going to chime in here with my opinion. And it's just that, my opinion, my interpretation.

It wasn't the size of his dick. She actually doesn't know why the sex was better. She just knows that one of the obvious differences was that his dick was bigger. That doesn't mean that it was the reason.

I'm going to wager that it was something else that made sex with him good. Yes, you spend a lot of time on her, fingering, eating her out, etc. The question is, do you actually enjoy it yourself, or are you doing it just to say you're a good boyfriend? There is a HUGE difference.

I personally LOVE going down on women. The smell, the taste, the feeling of their thighs against the sides of my head... it's all freaking amazing. And women can tell that I genuinely enjoy being there. I'll stay there as long as they let me.

Also, are you doing all this just to get her off? Trying to give her an orgasm? That's a lot of pressure. Just enjoy the sensation of having your finger in her pussy. Doesn't that feel great? Man, that feels awesome. And then lick your finger. Wow, what an amazing taste and smell. And express how wonderful it is. You expressing how much you enjoy all of it, without the pressure of having her get off, will free her up to express herself, too.

[CS] and I have freaking AMAZING sex. We've only been seeing each other for 3 weeks. No intercourse yet (penis-vagina), it's all been oral and manual. And we cannot keep our hands off of each other. And hey, look at the size of my penis (5.75" x 4.125"). Not the biggest by a longshot. Plus, it's never been inside her yet. And she's had her first orgasms in YEARS with me.

So, no it's not the size of your penis. It's about whether or not you actually enjoy sex, and then show your partner how much you enjoy it. That makes a WORLD of difference.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

So, an inch - just one inch - makes foreplay unnecessary, increases desire and enjoyment, changes mediocre into good, and trumps emotional connection and a considerate lover who goes out of his way to please his woman? I just can't see that.

And, yes to emotional connection and being a considerate lover. This trumps all else.

[downthere Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close downthere]

this-moment, I just looked at your size on your profile, and if that's true, you've got nothing to worry about size-wise.

The two guys above me made excellent posts for your situation.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

And, yes to emotional connection and being a considerate lover. This trumps all else.

Agreed Qarzan. It sounds like the connection is there, and with the size being so close, it shouldn't be an issue at all.

[downthere Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close downthere]

Agreed Qarzan. It sounds like the connection is there, and with the size being so close, it shouldn't be an issue at all.

Totally agree...It's almost sounding to me like he's trying too hard or something, and that's getting in the way of her pleasure.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

This is a standard female head game and she is playing it hard . Anytime someone is working this hard to knock you down, you should get clear of them.

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

It wasn't the size of his dick. She actually doesn't know why the sex was better. She just knows that one of the obvious differences was that his dick was bigger. That doesn't mean that it was the reason.

I'm going to wager that it was something else that made sex with him good.

One thing that I havent mentioned is that its almost like were not entirely compatible. When i first kissed her it was one of the most awkward kisses Ive ever experienced. She is really beautiful but she does have a huge nose and when we first kissed it got in the way and was really awkward to work around. The awkwardness didnt stop at kissing. When we first slept together it was also really awkward in a physical way. Like we weren't that compatible. It was like her thighs were getting in the way of my hips and made it hard to thrust. We both talked about this and we both agreed that it felt awkward for us.

Perhaps you are right that she doesn't actually know why the sex was better and the bigger penis is the most obvious. I wonder if its because we're not that physically compatible.

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

This is a standard female head game and she is playing it hard . Anytime someone is working this hard to knock you down, you should get clear of them.

If this is true and she is playing a head game why do you think she would want to hurt me like this? Wouldn't she want me to feel confident?

[spencerdiaz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spencerdiaz]

Why do women (especially young women) do anything? She likely doesn't even realize how deep of an Impact her words can create.

[AM7797 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AM7797]

Dude, your size is more than fine! I can't believe that she's not okay with that! Most girls don't even like it at 8 inches because it's painful when it hits the cervix! Maybe your girlfriend likes being pounded real deep! And it can't be your girth. You've got a good girth dude! Just remember that none of this is your fault. Your actually above average in the size department. I know you love your GF, but she is straight up a size queen!

[this-moment Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close this-moment]

Dude, your size is more than fine! I can't believe that she's not okay with that! Most girls don't even like it at 8 inches because it's painful when it hits the cervix! Maybe your girlfriend likes being pounded real deep! And it can't be your girth. You've got a good girth dude! Just remember that none of this is your fault. Your actually above average in the size department. I know you love your GF, but she is straight up a size queen!

Yeah that is what Im thinking