Logistics of meeting women in bars?

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

A lot of men and women will go to bars looking for hookups, but what I've never been able to figure out is what comes after? Most of the time one or both have had enough to drink that driving is out of the question. Walking maybe but that could be really annoying. How's it done?

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

Well, I have done both city and suburb bar hookups. Here is how it works. Meet the girl, talk to her, flirt with her, dance with her, if she wants more flirting, lets go to my place. If you're both wasted, grab a cab or an Uber. If one can drive, leave the other car at the bat.

If you live in the city, you just take a cab or train to your neighborhood.

Easy breezy. Go get it.

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

Aren't you young Kelthuzad? Just install Tinder and join the future. It easier and costs less!

IMO I've always hated bar hookups. It takes practice, often buying quite a few drinks, and consuming more alcohol than I generally want to and a frequency I don't like. Despite being a fit attractive guy my standards are high and I'm terrible at approaching women. Online dating and apps literally were a game changer for me. Not only did I get to do quite a bit of sexting and hookup with a bunch of women I found my soulmate to boot!

[Phoenix7672 Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Phoenix7672]

being a fit attractive guy...

Arguably part of the reason online/tinder worked well for you. Unless you are an 8 or better, most girls won't even respond to you, because there is a 9 or 10 posing with a supercar only a few more swipes away.

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

I agree online is the way to go. All my friends are married so I dont go to bars much anymore. I use POF for hookups or Match if looking for a serious girl.

If you are active online, you can go out 3 or 4 times a week with different women. Getting them to your house is the more difficult part. But you can get laid or get a bj once a week easy.

And Phoenix, you don't have to be an 8 or above. Maybe to score an 8 woman, but you have to date in your league. If you are a 5, you can't expect a 9, online or in a bar. Not only that, you can use it for practice. Less attractive women are easier to seduce since they have less choices. Then with some game you work your way up.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

I go to Smithfield meat market! Works for me!

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

Arguably part of the reason online/tinder worked well for you. Unless you are an 8 or better, most girls won't even respond to you, because there is a 9 or 10 posing with a supercar only a few more swipes away.

It definitely helps, but I've seen guys way less attractive than me snag gorgeous women way out of their league, so what you look like only goes so far. Confidence goes a long way too. Though, reaching in your league makes things easier. My problem was I'm an intellectual nerd stuck in the body of a jock, the women I was intellectually attracted to wrote me off or weren't that attractive, and the women I was physically attracted to bored me to tears.

I agree online is the way to go. All my friends are married so I dont go to bars much anymore. I use POF for hookups or Match if looking for a serious girl.

If you are active online, you can go out 3 or 4 times a week with different women. Getting them to your house is the more difficult part. But you can get laid or get a bj once a week easy.

And Phoenix, you don't have to be an 8 or above. Maybe to score an 8 woman, but you have to date in your league. If you are a 5, you can't expect a 9, online or in a bar. Not only that, you can use it for practice. Less attractive women are easier to seduce since they have less choices. Then with some game you work your way up.

Interesting, I found only hookups on Match(Despite what they claimed they wanted) and found hookups and my soulmate on POF.

[Phoenix7672 Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Phoenix7672]

It definitely helps, but I've seen guys way less attractive than me snag gorgeous women way out of their league, so what you look like only goes so far. Confidence goes a long way too. Though, reaching in your league makes things easier. My problem was I'm an intellectual nerd stuck in the body of a jock, the women I was intellectually attracted to wrote me off or weren't that attractive, and the women I was physically attracted to bored me to tears.

Not saying it doesn't happen, but saying that it is easier in real life when you actually get to talk to them for a bit. When everything is online, it is too easy for a girl to go through her shopping list of items (eg. must a certain age range, be 6' or more, must have a square jaw, must have bodyfat at 10% or lower, etc, etc). If you don't have that, then they won't even read your message or respond to you, when someone else is a click and a millisecond away.

Maybe I'm a little biased with the above...but I've tried online before with next to no luck, whereas it is much easier if I meet them somewhere in real life, at least for setting up an actual date. Also like you, I need a brain properly attached, and most girls put 5 words or less in a profile...so it is easier to see if there is a mental connection if you can talk to them for 5 minutes before anyone makes judgments. The only strong point for online is you know they are single and looking, vs meeting someone, chatting with them, and then finding out they actually have a bf or aren't interested in more than friends.

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

Phoenix, women do not have that detailed of a checklist. Square jaw, 10% bodyfat? Where are you getting this info from. Women are attracted to the entire man. Women date average guys every day. I'm way more picky about women then they are about guys. Women dig confidence and personality more than anything.

So having a profile that doesn't make you look like a douche is key. When you message them you don't say, "Hows it going?" Quality pictures that make you seem happy.

I've learned much over the years. I also lie about my age. Im 38 and most women have a cut off of 35 for some reason. Once they meet me and like me I tell them it was a typo. I like dating 25-30 year olds.

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

It definitely helps, but I've seen guys way less attractive than me snag gorgeous women way out of their league, so what you look like only goes so far. Confidence goes a long way too. Though, reaching in your league makes things easier. My problem was I'm an intellectual nerd stuck in the body of a jock, the women I was intellectually attracted to wrote me off or weren't that attractive, and the women I was physically attracted to bored me to tears.



Interesting, I found only hookups on Match(Despite what they claimed they wanted) and found hookups and my soulmate on POF.

Zman, Im very similar. I was a jock all my life but also a computer nerd and into science and history and all kinds of things. I find most women to be rather shallow. They don't have many interests. Its very hard to find a gorgeous and smart, intellectual woman.

I found a few long term relationships from Match, but ironically Im now dating a girl I met over a year ago on POF. I broke up with Match girl for POF girl. Funny how the world works.

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

Zman, I'm very similar. I was a jock all my life but also a computer nerd and into science and history and all kinds of things. I find most women to be rather shallow. They don't have many interests. Its very hard to find a gorgeous and smart, intellectual woman.

I found a few long term relationships from Match, but ironically Im now dating a girl I met over a year ago on POF. I broke up with Match girl for POF girl. Funny how the world works.

Yeah, I've competed in Powerlifting, Strongman, Bodybuilding, am a Personal trainer and own my own fitness center..... I also have an IQ in the low 130s, and a total tech, science, political nerd, and even host a weekly DnD group, haha. I'm literally on both ends of the spectrum simultaneously. My list of requirements in a girl was quite lofty, most bored me and I'd quickly lose interest.

Im 28 and only spent around 5-6 months in the online dating world. Went on quite a few dates, but met my soulmate on POF. She is young(24), gorgeous, thin, works out, successful, educated, driven, and has a personality that perfectly compliments me. I mean, she is a data nerd and gets turned on by spreadsheets and organization! I had to expand to a 200 mile search radius to find her and put up with a half a year of long distance before she moved in, but it was well worth it. Just bought her engagement ring!

Online dating allowed me to filter out all of my deal breakers i.e. Not a college grad, unmotivated, ugly, fat, unintelligent, smoker, kids, partier, etc. plus, it got me past the part of dating I was terrible at... And supplied me a steady stream of women to have fun with while I was searching for the right one. I highly recommend it.

I also agree, how a profile is made, the pictures, and the initial interactions are critical. Even an average guy can come across and fun, confident and intriguing or boring, insecure, and unmemorable. The reaction a profile illicits matters a quite a bit.

Edit: Apologies for typos, tablet was not cooperating with my fat fingers this morning.

[Phoenix7672 Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Phoenix7672]

Phoenix, women do not have that detailed of a checklist. Square jaw, 10% bodyfat? Where are you getting this info from. Women are attracted to the entire man. Women date average guys every day. I'm way more picky about women then they are about guys. Women dig confidence and personality more than anything.

So having a profile that doesn't make you look like a douche is key. When you message them you don't say, "Hows it going?" Quality pictures that make you seem happy.

I've learned much over the years. I also lie about my age. Im 38 and most women have a cut off of 35 for some reason. Once they meet me and like me I tell them it was a typo. I like dating 25-30 year olds.

Not saying all but some...and most under about 25 years of age. That said I do know a few who are in their 30s and still have a long list (one likes to boast how she wrote it out one time and it was 2 pages)...I think she's been single for the last 5 or more years, since she dumps anyone who she finds out is missing one of her points.

Online makes it too easy to eliminate someone....the fact you have to lie and say 35 so they don't just click on to the next proves that...considering there is much less chance in real life someone will stop you mid sentence to ask your age, then walk away if it isn't what they were hoping for.

[Phoenix7672 Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Phoenix7672]

Also not sure if others are like me or not....but over the years I've learned I'd rather date an average girl with an above average brain and quick wit than a supermodel who can barely complete full sentences without quoting a Kardashian. The scenes with Veronika and RR in Deadpool sort of highlight what I really like, plus this comes to mind as well:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoWJAKgDd64

[master-gauge Senior Member Member of the Month May 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close master-gauge]

Ok guys and ladies.. Sorry to high jack but.. How long should a profile be?? I have one standard page of one typed up and not used yet.. It's broken down into the following:

-Intro
-About Me
-What I like to do
-What I'm looking for
-What I don't want
-Closing para..

I even have these titles at the start of each para for them... Seem too anal or organized or is that something a women would want set up for them?? I had planned on POF for this one.. Like it was mentioned before, I hate going solo to bars.. All the friends are moved or married off and have kids by now.. Good luck setting up just stopping by the house, my own brother included..

Oh and Congrats on the ring Zman!!

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

Ok guys and ladies.. Sorry to high jack but.. How long should a profile be?? I have one standard page of one typed up and not used yet.. It's broken down into the following:

-Intro
-About Me
-What I like to do
-What I'm looking for
-What I don't want
-Closing para..

I even have these titles at the start of each para for them... Seem too anal or organized or is that something a women would want set up for them?? I had planned on POF for this one.. Like it was mentioned before, I hate going solo to bars.. All the friends are moved or married off and have kids by now.. Good luck setting up just stopping by the house, my own brother included..

Oh and Congrats on the ring Zman!!

Thank you, its gorgeous! We picked it out togehter, so I know what the answer is going to be, haha.


Remember, it isn't about what you say, but how you say it is crucial as well. Your level of organization and analysis will speak louder about your personality than the words you use. If you are looking for a woman who analyzes everything and likes to break things down into logical segments like that it would be appealing. That will definitively limit the pool of women who show interest. One caveat, most people do not want to read a book on you and succinct and precise is important. I wouldn't have any of those sections be longer than two sentences, remember less will be more. Also, be careful with "don't want" sections, they can come accross negatively. If you do list it, make is something more palatable. What you say is just as important as how you say it. I would definitely go for shorter than one full page.