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Interested in a man who has been a sugar daddy?

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  • Interested in a man who has been a sugar daddy?

    To all the wonderful women out there!

    Would you ever consider a serious relationship with a man who had been a sugar daddy? So, a late-40s gentleman who kept company with 20-something fit and attractive women?

    If yes, why?

    If no, why?

    Thank you!
    Start: August, 2017
    Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
    Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
    Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

  • #2
    To me there's a big difference between someone who just likes to keep company with younger people and a sugar daddy/sugar momma. To me unless you're supplying them with gifts/cash, paying for them continually etc then it's just someone who enjoys the company of younger people.

    In the first situation, I wouldn't have a problem with it - I do that myself. Most of the FWBs I've had have been early to mid 20's. PL is 17 years younger than I am. We actually had a discussion the other night about why I like younger guys and the answer is that it's mostly an attitude thing. The younger guys seem to be more likely to be able to just relax and enjoy themselves and look at it as something casual whereas the older ones always seem to be look 3 or 4 steps ahead to things like oh hey this one might make a great life partner. When I'm just trying to keep things casual and stress-free I really don't need someone to be looking at me with "those" eyes.

    In the 2nd situation I probably would have a problem with it because to me that's a character issue. And it's not because the women are younger. I wouldn't want to be with any man that's used to just paying for things and giving gifts and cash to women all the time. I mean a flower here and there, a little inexpensive token of affection - sure. But to me that's not "sugar daddy" level. The problems I would have with a "sugar daddy" are:
    - Does he have a self-esteem issue and he think that the only way he can have women interested in them is by buying them things and basically paying them off?
    - Does he have a control/respect issue and views women as objects that can be basically bought or rented. I don't want to have a guy giving me expensive gifts or paying for things all the time because I don't to give the impression that my time or affection is for sale.

    Comment


    • #3
      Qandisa,

      Thank you for your input. Very informative.

      I was wondering...I was having a discussion with some folks and some of the girls brought up the topic of "sugar daddy" (the younger ones, of course) and an older lady got really pissed off.

      It was an interesting conversation and it was clear - from the folks involved in that conversation - that the younger women had little issue with it while the older woman absolutely had an issue with it.

      Funny, in that conversation the focus was on the women.....in your "2nd situation" points you are (and, I would contend, correctly) focusing on the guy. That was my "contribution" to that conversation ("hey, you guys are missing the point here...." and "Why do I have to "buy" her time?") but the women were so focused on what is wrong with a woman such that she would do such a thing.

      Anyway, your comments are much appreciated. Very much appreciate the fact that your focus was on the man, as was mine. :-)
      Start: August, 2017
      Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
      Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
      Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh I could put the focus on the women! I guess I just kind of figured that it went without saying that someone (male or female) who would just allow themselves to be "bought" like that either had a distinct lack of self-respect or didn't have a problem with egregiously using people (which to me is both shallow and a major character flaw).

        I have had the odd FWB try to morph it into a "sugar momma" type of situation and I make it clear that's just not going to happen. I have some very clear and simple rules for FWB/casual partners - I love sex, and lots of sex, but I'm not going to just get naked with someone I don't like or don't respect, and who doesn't actually LIKE and respect me. If you can't demonstrate those qualities through your actions or words then it doesn't happen. Treating me like an ATM doesn't demonstrate respect. Similarly I have a younger friend - who is JUST a friend - who has tried to initiate sexual interactions with me, and when I asked why he said it was because he was "horny and bored". Nope, sorry, wrong answer.

        For me respect is key, even in a casual situation. If you don't respect the other person, or don't respect yourself, then there's something wrong. And I just think that using someone like that, or allowing your time/favours to be bought, doesn't demonstrate respect.

        Comment


        • #5
          You're right Q horny and bored never worked for me. Bored did at times!!!!!!!
          The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

          Comment


          • #6
            Q, if I might ask you to indulge a gentleman, what would have been - for you - the 'right answer'? :-)
            Start: August, 2017
            Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
            Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
            Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

            Comment


            • #7
              I don't think I would mind. After all someone's past is just that, the past.

              I don't think I would have the right to judge.

              And it would of made them who they are today.
              Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

              Comment


              • #8
                Thank you, Tara123! That is a good point and one that the younger girls mentioned. The older lady (with "older" being in context of that group) would not have any of it. Once a criminal, always a criminal! Sorta the point she was trying to make without using that one specific phrase.
                Start: August, 2017
                Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
                Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
                Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  What was the age of the older lady?
                  Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Meh prostitution is legal in my state.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The younger ladies were early- to mid-20s. The older lady was mid-30s. Maybe late-30s. I dared not ask! She was really pissed. I am sure that there is some story there of which I am - at the moment, anyway - unaware.

                      Totally unrelated, I do know a lady in my age group whose husband left her for a 19 year-old. This lady is in really good shape and seems nice enough, but we really don't know what happens (or, as I would bet, does *NOT* happen) behind closed doors.

                      Anyway, this was a very interesting topic | discussion.
                      Start: August, 2017
                      Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
                      Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
                      Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by AverageDude48 View Post
                        Q, if I might ask you to indulge a gentleman, what would have been - for you - the 'right answer'? :-)
                        For me the "right answer" would have been one that showed there was an interest in ME, as opposed to me just being a random warm body. If I'm interested in or attracted to a man, even if it's one I already have an established relationship/situation with, I don't just text them and say "Yo I'm horny, DTF?". No, I tell them why I'm wanting to be with THEM. The right answer, for me, to hey so why are you suggesting this all of a sudden isn't just because yeah man I'm horny and I want to fuck. It's something along the lines of "I'm attracted to you, I find you intriguing, I've often thought about what it would be like to be with you but it's never seemed like the right time." Even better if it actually makes some reference to personal or physical qualities of mine. I really like the way you smile, your eyes are such a turn on etc. I've given this guy several massages in the past and I know he's gotten turned on during them, so he could even say something as simple as "I was just remembering how much turned on I get at your touch and would really like to take things further". Any of those would be a much better answer than "I'm bored and horny".

                        I don't need to be woo'd and romanced, but at least tell me something that actually has to do with ME as opposed to "yeah I need a warm body to fuck and you might as well be it".

                        Originally posted by Tara123 View Post
                        I don't think I would mind. After all someone's past is just that, the past.

                        I don't think I would have the right to judge.

                        And it would of made them who they are today.
                        I get that, kind of, because I often have the same viewpoint. But my interpretation of the original statement wasn't so much "in the past", I read it as being something that was much more recent.

                        Now as to at what point something recent is actually far enough back to the "the past", I don't know. If someone did something last week, is that long enough ago to be "the past"? If they say "I was a smoker, but that was in the past" and you find out it was like 6 days ago, is that really "the past"?
                        Sorry that's taking things into a slightly more philosophical realm lol.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thank you for bringing that up Qandisa, however I think even if 'they' had been a sugar daddy the day before, it wouldn't bother me.

                          I wouldn't think of it as a reflection on me or them. Am I missing something?

                          Of course there are some things I would never been able to see past but a man in his 40's lavishing gifts on a woman in her 20's to sleep with her doesn't bother me at all. As long as both were happy in the arrangement.
                          Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Ladies, all excellent contributions to this question. So, thank you!

                            Qandisa, I really like your answer. And, even though I really don't know you, I sorta thought that your answer would be something to that effect. And, I totally agree....if I ever went to someone and said, "Baby, my dick is so hard...since no one else is around can you take care of that for me?" I think that I would shit myself in the process of actually saying that. It is pretty much disrespectful.....to use your words....to approach anyone with a "hey, I am horny, you will do!"

                            Gentlemen who are reading this....Miss Qandisa just gave us (for those of us who did not think of things from that perspective) a *HUGE* lesson. Take note, gentleman! It is really important to want to be with the specific woman, not just 'some woman'.

                            I also like Qandisa's point about "how long in the past" something can be considered in the past.

                            I had a situation a few months back where there were five 35+ ladies at the receptionist's desk and I walked by and they all started grilling me with questions. There were six questions, to be exact. I knew after the second question what was going on and answered all of their questions honestly. After one lady asked the sixth question and I provided an answer, I decided that enough was enough so I asked, with a huge grin, "So, ladies, did I pass?". In unison they all stated, rather dejectedly, that I had NOT passed.

                            One of the questions was "have you ever smoked pot?". I answered that question with a "yes". One lady then immediately asked "how long ago?" and I answered "November, 2013". So, at that specific point in time, it was roughly three years ago.

                            Point there is - that my "three years ago" answer was *NOT* far enough in the past to disqualify that disqualifying answer! :-) So, I challenged that. Their point was that at 45+ years of age I should know better than to do something so stupid and that the decision - at that age - to do something so stupid showed a flaw in my character and decision-making abilities.

                            All good. I did not challenge their contention with a "Do you want to know the circumstances of that decision.....the 'context' of that decision, if you will?"......because I know these ladies and they already made up their mind.

                            I tend to be a 'body of work' kind of person when formulating a decision or an opinion of something | someone so for me the 'context' of that decision would have been very valuable information to have. But, that is just me. Naturally, these ladies - at the moment, anyway - were not so interested in details.

                            Anyway, Miss Qandisa, your philosophical realm statement is actually very pertinent, I believe. I think that "common sense" plays a big part in that, to be honest. So, was my decision to smoke pot (which, for the record, I did four times - with the same person in a very secure location|situation in that I was not going anywhere after smoking - that week and threw up each and every time......so, no thank you!) at 45+ did have a very interesting context and might have actually disqualified my "yes" answer. But, they never asked for details. Just a simple "yes | no" question.

                            Funny thing is - of the five women, four of them have significant details in their past that would more than disqualify them from any gentleman of value's interest (were they to be forthcoming and answer honestly should one ever ask any of these ladies probing questions). Funny how that shoe fits a little differently there! :-)

                            Very interesting, ladies! I am glad that I asked this question and I am even more glad that you ladies have shared with us your thoughts and ideas.
                            AverageDude48
                            Senior Member
                            Last edited by AverageDude48; 01-22-2017, 07:56 AM.
                            Start: August, 2017
                            Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
                            Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
                            Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

                            Comment

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