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  • Length and intimacy.

    So my girlfriend doesn't want me to get any longer, but it sucks because I'd like to be visually longer NBPEL, (losing some weight may help though).

    She says "Don't get any longer, you'll hurt me and you wont be able to fully go inside of me".

    At my length she already will occasionally gasp and say "Too deep, babe".

    From a woman's perspective, is there something extra intimate/special about being able to have your pelvic bones touching, or being fully touching in general, and not stopped by extra length that isn't usable?

    For me it is special, but I also would like a bit more length, maybe just actually reach 7.0 and drop 40 pounds.

    But in the future if I ever want to go for a goal of say, 7.5 BPEL, knowing whether or not we'd lose some closeness is important to me, as the romantic side of touch, and being close is majorly important to me (My girlfriend jokes and says "I'm dating a girl!" because I'm an emotional and soft person lol).

    I can't really talk to my girlfriend about size things as it triggers my awful issues, so I'd like to ask the women of PeGym instead.

    Thank you in advance!
    09-03-2016: BPEL: 6.5 EG: 5.0
    04-16-2019: BPEL: 7.1 MEG: 5.19
    03-29-2020: BPEL: 7.36 MEG: 5.39

    No person is worth wanting to hurt yourself over, neither is the size of your penis.

  • #2
    This is very skill dependent.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Pegasus View Post
      This is very skill dependent.
      Not if the woman's vagina isn't deep enough.

      Then you just have extra length that's unusable.
      09-03-2016: BPEL: 6.5 EG: 5.0
      04-16-2019: BPEL: 7.1 MEG: 5.19
      03-29-2020: BPEL: 7.36 MEG: 5.39

      No person is worth wanting to hurt yourself over, neither is the size of your penis.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'm just asking whether or not women enjoy the closeness of having their man fully in them, rather than the distance from having extra unusable length.
        09-03-2016: BPEL: 6.5 EG: 5.0
        04-16-2019: BPEL: 7.1 MEG: 5.19
        03-29-2020: BPEL: 7.36 MEG: 5.39

        No person is worth wanting to hurt yourself over, neither is the size of your penis.

        Comment


        • #5
          My girls says she enjoy the closeness very much.Other women enjoy it too.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by 6inDongNotForLong View Post
            Not if the woman's vagina isn't deep enough.

            Then you just have extra length that's unusable.
            No.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by 6inDongNotForLong View Post
              I'm just asking whether or not women enjoy the closeness of having their man fully in them, rather than the distance from having extra unusable length.
              Yes, for me that's definitely a factor. For me there are 2 aspects to it. First, I just don't like having anything that deep inside - it ranges between not being comfortable and being downright painful. I know some of the guys on here talk about oh you just need the right angle etc. Well maybe with some women, but not with all. Yes I have been with very lengthy guys, and yes some have "found the right angle" to be able to get in further. And I hated it. Yes, hated it. I've had it happen more than once, it has never been at all enjoyable and I hope it never happens again. So when the guy is too long yes there is a hard limit to how far he can go, because I'm just not going to let him go any further. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, it's not supposed to have one partner in pain and wishing it was over.

              Secondly, (with someone that's not too long) yes I like the closeness of feeling his body right up against mine. I like knowing that he's not having to hold back at all, that he can just let go and give in to everything and fuck me with wild abandon if he wants to, without having to be too cautious or too aware of how far he's going in. To me it makes sex more enjoyable.

              I can absolutely relate to your girlfriend. PL/BF is around 6.5 (just under I think) and I have told him many times that I am really glad he's not any longer than he is because I absolutely love sex with him and I know I wouldn't enjoy it as much. At his length, at certain angles if he's going really hard he still just barely hits the spot where it starts to be uncomfortable, so I know if he was longer then it would be at the not enjoyable stage. And it would be a real shame to have to try and keep that animalistic side restrained.

              Comment


              • #8
                ..........
                Pumped340
                Senior Member
                Last edited by Pumped340; 12-18-2020, 03:00 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Qandisa View Post
                  Yes, for me that's definitely a factor. For me there are 2 aspects to it. First, I just don't like having anything that deep inside - it ranges between not being comfortable and being downright painful. I know some of the guys on here talk about oh you just need the right angle etc. Well maybe with some women, but not with all. Yes I have been with very lengthy guys, and yes some have "found the right angle" to be able to get in further. And I hated it. Yes, hated it. I've had it happen more than once, it has never been at all enjoyable and I hope it never happens again. So when the guy is too long yes there is a hard limit to how far he can go, because I'm just not going to let him go any further. Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, it's not supposed to have one partner in pain and wishing it was over.

                  Secondly, (with someone that's not too long) yes I like the closeness of feeling his body right up against mine. I like knowing that he's not having to hold back at all, that he can just let go and give in to everything and fuck me with wild abandon if he wants to, without having to be too cautious or too aware of how far he's going in. To me it makes sex more enjoyable.

                  I can absolutely relate to your girlfriend. PL/BF is around 6.5 (just under I think) and I have told him many times that I am really glad he's not any longer than he is because I absolutely love sex with him and I know I wouldn't enjoy it as much. At his length, at certain angles if he's going really hard he still just barely hits the spot where it starts to be uncomfortable, so I know if he was longer then it would be at the not enjoyable stage. And it would be a real shame to have to try and keep that animalistic side restrained.
                  Never had this experience with any woman it is more likely these guys just di not have skill.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I don't think skill has anything to do with it, if you have to much, she's not going to accept it. Like Q said it's supposed to be fun and enjoyable, even if you get her going, if she can't fit it all it's not gonna happen. Back to the OP if your gf wants you to stop gaining length, then it's probably a good idea to heed her warning, work on girth. I do agree that the woman ideal size is somewhere in the 6-6.5x5.5-6 range, I'm at 7 and alot of the time I'm not all the way in, I am strictly working on girth, that whole porn image of the 8x6 doesn't play out like it does on screen.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by 6inDongNotForLong View Post
                      I'm just asking whether or not women enjoy the closeness of having their man fully in them, rather than the distance from having extra unusable length.
                      Considering the average vagina length is 3 to 4 inches and when aroused may lengthen an inch, the average male is already above this. We can argue all day about if she can take more or not but I don't think this is the issue. As Q said, it is about the pleasure for both parties. If you are too big and she is not allowing you to go any deeper, then you are both missing out.

                      Think about it. If your balls can't touch during intercourse you are missing out on some great sensations, not only the closeness factor.

                      So to answer your question. Yes, we I like the closeness factor. I grab his ass often and pull him as deep as I can, not because I want more length, but because I want to feel my parts mashing with his parts - all of them.

                      The same goes for girth, the average circumference of a vagina is much smaller than the average girth of a penis. So that "full" feeling can be experienced every time if she is doing her kegels and your EQ is on point. If your girth is too large she may complain she feels stretched.

                      So basically your goal should be to find the optimal length and girth where you and your SO can have the ultimate experience every time. There is no perfect number as each of us is different, both men and women. Find the perfect size for you and your SO and continue PE for the health of your penis so that you can have many years of pleasure together.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thank you for the response!

                        I don't plan on getting much more length, as her comfort and pleasure is more important than mine in my head.

                        I just wanted to know
                        09-03-2016: BPEL: 6.5 EG: 5.0
                        04-16-2019: BPEL: 7.1 MEG: 5.19
                        03-29-2020: BPEL: 7.36 MEG: 5.39

                        No person is worth wanting to hurt yourself over, neither is the size of your penis.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I would say from my girlfriends actions is dont go over 7.5" BPEL (6.5" NBP) if you want that closeness of grinding pelvic areas because I have lost that now and I like the feeling of my balls being right up against the wet lips. Can't have that anymore.

                          This is only a 0.3" length gain (and EQ) and it has changed everything. Not necessarily in a good way either.

                          And to add, this is also a girl who claims her ex of 3yrs was much bigger so she should have been used to it.
                          Start:
                          6.1" BPEL
                          4.8" MSEG
                          5.5" NBP

                          Current 21/08/2016:
                          7.375" BPEL
                          5.4" MSEG
                          6" BEG

                          Short-term goal:
                          7" NBP
                          5.75" MSEG
                          6.5" BEG

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I am clearly not a woman, so take this with a grain of salt.

                            As you can see from my stats, I am not even close to "long" but have fairly decent girth. The woman with whom I am now having sex absolutely loves my girth and my EQ. Length is not really anything that I can comment on....but I can say that she loves it when I go deep (missionary style) and she loves the feeling of closeness that we share. She is really tight and she does begin to get sore after 15 minutes (likely more my girth than my length).

                            Not sure how I feel about the advice to heed her advice. Yes, we do this for ourselves. Absolutely. But, we are having sex with our partner. Sex is - as others have mentioned - fun and pleasurable. For both. So, if length or girth become an issue, it is maybe not going to be fun for both. So, what do you do? I dont have that answer.....
                            Start: August, 2017
                            Start: 5.50inches BPEL x 5.125inches MEG
                            Goal: 7.0inches BPEL x 6.0inches MEG
                            Focus: AMAZING EQ! A strong and balanced Pelvic Floor!! Awesome Hip Flexibility!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              @AverageDude, et al.:

                              Yes we do PE for ourselves, but consideration for a partner is a genuinely important discussion, particularly if the partner is or has, long-range potential. The best news is PE (for growth) can be stopped or started at ANY age with positive results for most males. So age is NOT a factor. If you're perfect for your partner the size you are currently. then BY ALL MEANS, STOP PE'ing for growth, but continue with a maintenance routine, to keep your penis healthy and performing at his BEST! Your partner will, OR CERTAINLY should appreciate that!

                              Intimacy between partners is predicated on MANY variables. Women's vaginas expand and contract depending upon their menstrual cycle, how aroused they are at a given time, their overall mood, how tired or stressed they are etc.... In MOST ways they're no different than US! If we don't relieve stress, exercise, eat properly, and stay fit both mentally & physically, our EQ & libido suffers, making our Dicks perform below-par, even if arousal & desire are both abundant!

                              My point is, studies have shown almost 100% of females LOVE feeling "FULL" from a penis inside them, AND they also LOVE feeling a guy's BALLS slap them when deep-thrusting during sex! <THIS tells us 2 things ALL MALES should strive to achieve:

                              #1
                              Adequate girth to expand her vagina, making her feel FULL .
                              #2
                              A penis that is NOT SO LONG, that it hurts her by slamming her cervix (but unable to reach her A&P fornix), without the satisfaction of being able to take it "BALLS-DEEP".

                              EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT OUR PENIS IS JUST FOR US!

                              SO, IN SUMMARY: PE ACCORDINGLY, BUT AT YOUR OWN RISK, should you decide to go beyond these 2 basic goals.

                              The good news is, if our partners change, we can ALWAYS add PE for growth back in again!...ANOTHER NICE ADVANTAGE of having a PENIS, I might ADD!

                              Comment

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