How you use it matters most

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I'm starting this thread since it gets to the heart of what many men overlook when they worry about their size. I posted this a little while ago on another thread, but I think it merits a thread of it's own.

What do women really mean when they say that " how you use it is more important than how big it is"" or something like that?

I cannot answer for all women of course, but in my experience the physical pleasures of sex for females have much more to do with foreplay, position, and thrusting (force, variation, rhythm) than penis size. MUCH MUCH more. It is the friction -- between his body and mine, his pubis (or fingers) and my clit, his cock and the skin around the opening of my vagina, his glans and my G-spot -- that stimulates me. The sensations come from the motion and friction, first and foremost. Size of his cock is truly secondary.

Just something to think about.

[Panther Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Panther]

My girlfriend has essentially told me the same thing. She is more interested in the thrusting rhythm and changes. For instance she loves it when I thrust with about 1/3 to 1/2 of my dick for about 7 - 10 thrusts and then I do a couple of deep ones. Then back to the shallower thrusts. Makes the deep ones feel some much more intense according to her. Also circular thrusts are better than just straight in and out.

Nothing wrong with a big dick unless you don't know how to use it. Everything right with an average dick that's used just the way your lady likes.

[DownLow Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DownLow]

My girlfriend has essentially told me the same thing. She is more interested in the thrusting rhythm and changes. For instance she loves it when I thrust with about 1/3 to 1/2 of my dick for about 7 - 10 thrusts and then I do a couple of deep ones. Then back to the shallower thrusts. Makes the deep ones feel some much more intense according to her. Also circular thrusts are better than just straight in and out.

Nothing wrong with a big dick unless you don't know how to use it. Everything right with an average dick that's used just the way your lady likes.

I use the short stroke, long stroke thing too. I like to start and do 1 short, one long, then 2 short, 2 long, and work up to 10 or so, then work back down. By the time I am done, she is waiting to be pounded hard and squirt.

[Mike5150 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mike5150]

Since my girl and I have started having sex we have tried alot of different things. We both agreed that I was doing all the work... being on top. So we decided she would get on top... guess what, I am still doing all the work lol. She says she can't go as fast as me... so I end up grabbing her hips and as she says "pounding it". We have some terms we use... such as "long strokes" "Pound it" "tease it" "shove it in". At first and I sometimes still do I would go slow... feels good for me but what I found out is that what she likes is for me to rub my erect dick between her lips adding pressure on the down slide over her clit and then surprising her by shoving it all the way in once then back out to "tease" her clit... then shove back in doing this a few times before she want's me to "pound it". My head when fully aroused is larger than my shaft... which she says she loves and when I am "pounding it" with "long strokes" this is what she says she likes best... I am not complaining

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Nothing wrong with a big dick unless you don't know how to use it. Everything right with an average dick that's used just the way your lady likes.

Exactly!!!

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

My girlfriend has essentially told me the same thing. She is more interested in the thrusting rhythm and changes. For instance she loves it when I thrust with about 1/3 to 1/2 of my dick for about 7 - 10 thrusts and then I do a couple of deep ones. Then back to the shallower thrusts. Makes the deep ones feel some much more intense according to her. Also circular thrusts are better than just straight in and out.

I use the short stroke, long stroke thing too. I like to start and do 1 short, one long, then 2 short, 2 long, and work up to 10 or so, then work back down. By the time I am done, she is waiting to be pounded hard and squirt.

At first and I sometimes still do I would go slow... feels good for me but what I found out is that what she likes is for me to rub my erect dick between her lips adding pressure on the down slide over her clit and then surprising her by shoving it all the way in once then back out to "tease" her clit... then shove back in doing this a few times before she want's me to "pound it". My head when fully aroused is larger than my shaft... which she says she loves and when I am "pounding it" with "long strokes" this is what she says she likes best... I am not complaining

Varying rhythms, lots of friction, teasing, reading your partner's responses, and building up arousal until she is crazy for more -- that's what makes it great for a lady.

[NP97 Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close NP97]

Talking and finding out what she likes is so important!

[GTO Retired ModeratorPEGym EditorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close GTO]

Talking and finding out what she likes is so important!

Yup - and when you do, use your powers for evil and make her climb the freggin wall!

I agree with BW about the varying strokes and all of that - variety in sex is what makes it spicy and keeps it fresh. You don't want to just pound away all the time - mix it up like a good pitcher and keep her off balance. A slow stroke orgasm can be just as intense or even moreso than a fast stroke one - for both her AND you ...

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Yes, but the point is that it is not really the size that matters, but what you do with it!

NP97 makes a great point -- one of the best ways to build intimacy and find out how to please a lady is to talk about it. Ask her questions if you are not sure, there is no need to guess! I went for years having sex without talking much about it with my partners, it was a revelation to me to discover how much I could learn -- and enlighten my partner -- by simply talking about it. Duh. Yet so many of us don't, because we are embarrassed somehow. We all need to get over that.

[ErictheGed Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ErictheGed]

Reps to BW for kicking off this thread. There could be a possibility i've got something lined up for this weekend, this thread came out at a great time, a nice reminder! Will be the first time since i started PE, but i know for a fact i'm a better lay than i was before! I used to just pump away, was always fun, but should've been so much more.

[kingpole Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close kingpole]

I don't know, my vinal lady does not communicate her desires.

On a serious note batwoman is correct.

[Leviathan Member Find all posts View Profile Close Leviathan]

Well said. Especially on the "foreplay" aspect!

Foreplay can last for HOURs...it can go on throughout the day, the actual act of intercourse, not so much. ~

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Gotta agree that foreplay is REALLY important to women. To be clear on this: when I say foreplay, I mean everything that comes before penetration. This can (and hopefully does) include lots of kissing, naked play, stroking, and oral sex (though not to orgasm, at least for the guy).

When I think back to really memorable sexual episodes I've had, it is frequently the foreplay that stands out in my mind. I utterly love it when we spend a long long long time in those activities.

Good foreplay, in my opinion, involves multiple cycles of arousal for both partners in which arousal builds up, you back off a bit, then builds again -- each time to a higher level. The culmination of what penetrative sex feels like after a long buildup like this is fabulous! And foreplay is a LOT more fun if you talk while you are doing it, asking your partner what they want, and telling your own desires.... whispering your thoughts, and letting your partner know exactly how good things feel.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

I should get a rep point for reading all this and not getting a heart attack! Don't do this stuff to an old guy in the morning! Time for a cold shower!! What a way to start the day!

[ErictheGed Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ErictheGed]

I got the best erection i've had in months!