Edging for Women

[domnus]

Thank you Mrs. L4M,

That is a very helpful answer...
Now, if I can pick your brain for a moment more?

Length is not an issue for us. I am am able to control and have never gone too deep or hurt her in that way. I am happy with a some of the shaft out in the air, and for some reason, that is a psychological thrill for her, too.
Our issue is girth. After her orgasm, the girth is uncomfortable to painful. Before orgasm it is fine.
So my first question is, was girth ever an issue for you and did you adjust, or were L4Ms girth gains always a good thing?

My second question, and I hesitate to pry, but how do you two go about edging? Is it all PIV?

That is what I aim to work on, some sort of PIV edging that won't distract from the moment.

I don't know if you realize the can of worms you are opening by asking this question, but I look forward to the answer. Mr & Mrslooking4more enjoy bdsm lifestyle, whether it is their lifestyle or that they just enjoy this in sexual play is unclear. I haven't seen it plainly stated which is their preference but, at any rate, I look forward to both of their answers.
Their answers could be very lengthy posts (pun intended) but should be very entertaining.

[incogneeetoe]

If your wife is postmenopausal or menopausal then the drop in estrogen can be your issue. Estrogen helps to maintain that fluid and keeps the lining of the vagina healthy, thick, and elastic. During menopause there is a drop in estrogen therefore the lining of the vagina thins and becomes for no better word, dry.

Your situation reminds me of a time in my life when once I orgasmed during PIV it was uncomfortable for him to continue because I would literally dry out. It was a weird scenario as I just came and so there was moisture down there but I felt dry and so it felt like he was rubbing my insides with cardboard. So the moisture was good, but not the right moisture - my natural sex lube had stopped flowing. I don't remember how long this lasted, months even years maybe, but we added a little artificial lubricant during sex and it fixed the issue. Don't know if this is what your wife might be experiencing but this is one easy fix that can't hurt anyone trying. Hope it helps.

She thinks she is pre-menopausal. I am not so sure as she is still fairly regular. I keep track of her monthly cycle.
And dryness is not a problem. She has even remarked about the amount of lubricant. I think it is more of a muscular thing, IE lack of conditioning, combined with my girth gains that are causing discomfort.

When we were first involved she would be worn out by sex. I was much bigger than she was used to, and an orgasm from PIV sex was new for her, so after her orgasm she had to stop. But it took much longer to get her there, so I was happy. These days she orgasms quickly, very quickly, and seems to orgasm much harder, and cannot continue. But like a man with pre-mature ejaculation, she cannot seem to have control over it. The last three times it was 30 seconds, 2-3 minutes and 1 minute. The first time I was just going at it jockey as normal, the second she was on top, the third jockey, but I stopped moving.

So I want to help her slow it down. But I do not want to just pull out and cause a spoiled orgasm situation. Just wondering if others have done it and how.

[TheZZWoman]

She thinks she is pre-menopausal. I am not so sure as she is still fairly regular. I keep track of her monthly cycle.
And dryness is not a problem. She has even remarked about the amount of lubricant. I think it is more of a muscular thing, IE lack of conditioning, combined with my girth gains that are causing discomfort.

When we were first involved she would be worn out by sex. I was much bigger than she was used to, and an orgasm from PIV sex was new for her, so after her orgasm she had to stop. But it took much longer to get her there, so I was happy. These days she orgasms quickly, very quickly, and seems to orgasm much harder, and cannot continue. But like a man with pre-mature ejaculation, she cannot seem to have control over it. The last three times it was 30 seconds, 2-3 minutes and 1 minute. The first time I was just going at it jockey as normal, the second she was on top, the third jockey, but I stopped moving.

So I want to help her slow it down. But I do not want to just pull out and cause a spoiled orgasm situation. Just wondering if others have done it and how.

So after her orgasm has she said what it feels like? What exactly is happening that she says she's done? Is she spent and exhausted and the muscles feel tight, or do you feel uncomfortable to her? I think knowing exactly what is happening to her body and what she is feeling just after her orgasm may clue you into what the real issue is. You maybe right about conditioning but what I don't understand is why now? She wasn't always 30 second Suzy and it seams to me that as you increase slowly her body would adjust and this would be her conditioning unless you were inconsistent with your sexual active. As ZZM improved, I adjusted right with him size wise. The biggest difference in sensation came from the increased EQ. So, also ask her if it feels different during and what is different, do you feel bigger to her or harder to her? Every woman is different but these questions may get you closer to a solution. Just some thoughts.

[incogneeetoe]

So after her orgasm has she said what it feels like? What exactly is happening that she says she's done? Is she spent and exhausted and the muscles feel tight, or do you feel uncomfortable to her? I think knowing exactly what is happening to her body and what she is feeling just after her orgasm may clue you into what the real issue is. You maybe right about conditioning but what I don't understand is why now? She wasn't always 30 second Suzy and it seams to me that as you increase slowly her body would adjust and this would be her conditioning unless you were inconsistent with your sexual active. As ZZM improved, I adjusted right with him size wise. The biggest difference in sensation came from the increased EQ. So, also ask her if it feels different during and what is different, do you feel bigger to her or harder to her? Every woman is different but these questions may get you closer to a solution. Just some thoughts.

Thanks for taking an interest ZZWoman,

Our sexual activity was inconsistent last fall, between new jobs, her irritable bowel syndrome and other things we were down to about 3~4 times a month. And that has often been isolated around her within ovulation...then 2-3 weeks without. At the same time I was working girth, so there may be some mismatch between my gains and her adjustment.

After orgasm, she complains that it is "too big" and that "it is painful". Hard to stop at that point and ask her to detail the pain, but I'll see if I can't explore more.

[6inDongNotForLong]

I told my girlfriend about edging and she said "I don't understand how you can do that to yourself"
I explained that it's self discipline to be able to stop yourself from achieving orgasm.

She's edged me during handjobs ect, and I've tried edging her and when we have done it, she'll have a very powerful climax, however there are times where she'll "lose it" and can't orgasm.

If it's a planned thing to do, I'd say it's a lot of fun for women, but if it's not I'd say giving your woman multiple orgasms instead of one extra powerful one is more satisfying for them.

@Incogneeetoe

Amazing to me how different women are, your girth is much larger than mine, but if I wear a C-ring which takes me to like 5.45, she gives me that same reaction. "Too big, it hurts" and after sex I found myself apologizing because of the display of pain I was seeing.

Blows my mind that she dealt with someone "quite a bit bigger".

Do you think if you and your lady had almost an "excessive" amount of foreplay that she wouldn't deal with the pain you're describing?

[incogneeetoe]

@Incogneeetoe

Amazing to me how different women are, your girth is much larger than mine, but if I wear a C-ring which takes me to like 5.45, she gives me that same reaction. "Too big, it hurts" and after sex I found myself apologizing because of the display of pain I was seeing.

Blows my mind that she dealt with someone "quite a bit bigger".

Do you think if you and your lady had almost an "excessive" amount of foreplay that she wouldn't deal with the pain you're describing?

I try for longer foreplay, but my wife is not really all that into it. Often we have our sexual roles reversed. She will just proposition sex, then drop all of her clothes and get on the bed. She likes to get right to the deed, I try and take my time. After we are done I like to bask in the afterglow, she rolls over and turns on the TV. Now she had premature orgasms. We laugh about it, as it is funny in that the roles are reverse. She even says that if a man were to act like that with most women it would lead to divorce.

Yesterday we were going at it, and she was right on the edge, I was also close, but it was ok. Then I sneezed (It was her perfume). The motion and surprise caused me to loose my concentration and had to pull out as I ejaculated . I wiped myself off, but was still hard enough to finish her off. So even pulling out just prior to orgasm didn't ruin it for her. I think I'm just going to try n edge her without making it a big deal.

Really, of all the problems in the world, this is fairly low on the list.

[6inDongNotForLong]

I try for longer foreplay, but my wife is not really all that into it. Often we have our sexual roles reversed. She will just proposition sex, then drop all of her clothes and get on the bed. She likes to get right to the deed, I try and take my time. After we are done I like to bask in the afterglow, she rolls over and turns on the TV. Now she had premature orgasms. We laugh about it, as it is funny in that the roles are reverse. She even says that if a man were to act like that with most women it would lead to divorce.

Yesterday we were going at it, and she was right on the edge, I was also close, but it was ok. Then I sneezed (It was her perfume). The motion and surprise caused me to loose my concentration and had to pull out as I ejaculated . I wiped myself off, but was still hard enough to finish her off. So even pulling out just prior to orgasm didn't ruin it for her. I think I'm just going to try n edge her without making it a big deal.

Really, of all the problems in the world, this is fairly low on the list.

haha you sneezed, that's actually pretty funny.
I hope she found that humorous too.

[incogneeetoe]

haha you sneezed, that's actually pretty funny.
I hope she found that humorous too.

She did react to the sneeze. I think she thought she had put me over the edge.

[RegStrikesBack]

Nobody even reacted when I said I got married...

[Party]

Nobody even reacted when I said I got married...

‘Congratulations!

celebrating our 32 year anniversary.