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  • Falling asleep right after sex

    This topic came up on another thread, and seems to me like it deserves a thread of its own.

    Question: Why do women sometimes resent it when a guy falls a sleep right after sex?

    I think a woman's reaction to his turning over and starting to snore totally depends on the relationship, and whether she feels like the sex was an act of mutual emotional connection (as well as physical pleasure) or just rutting.


    If the relationship is strong and a lady feels well-loved (in an emotional sense) -- and feels like the sex had a passionate, emotional component from the man -- then his falling asleep after a great bout of sex is not a big deal, it can even be a compliement.


    However, if she feels like the sex was mechanical -- like he was in it mostly for the orgasm, and she could just as well as been the maid or the cleaning lady as far as he was concerned (i.e., little emotional connection as part of the sex) -- well then she is going to feel even more cut off from him emotionally if he cums and then falls right to sleep.


    Sometimes the extent to which men withdraw into themselves and seem to go somewhere else while fucking/approaching orgasm can be a bit spooky to a woman. If she is feeling insecure at all about how the guy feels about her, it can be isolating. The cuddling afterwards can be emotionally important to women so that she feels like he wanted and was making love to her as an individual -- not just having sex with any available female.


    I know this may sound strange since I think most guys will say "but of course I was having sex with her -- it was her, for god's sake!" but you may not realize how distant you can seem in the heat of sex, especially when you get close to cumming.

  • #2
    I feel like it is natural for men to not be as interested in the woman after he orgasms. The occasional cuddling afterwards is just to make the girl happy and reward her for doing a good job. Once the nut is out the only thing on my mind is COD and sleep
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    • #3
      I can't speak as to how focused I am in the minutes before orgasm, but I can say that I can't fall asleep after sex. It is usually at least an hour after before I even can if I'm trying.


      I thought that whole thing was a joke / myth / urban legend / old wive's tale?

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      • #4
        Great Thread.

        One thing that think it is important for women to understand, after sex we men are often quite tired from the physical act, and also from the release of prolactin that occurs after male orgasm. I understand that women want to feel that emtional connection and post-cotius glow, hell I love too. But, sometime we are so exhausted that we really have little to no control over our wakefullness. I like to try and hold a woman I am in a relationship/care about, after sex to let her know I care. But, I can't guaranty that I 'll remain concious.
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        • #5
          I thought I read it had to do with certain hormones that were released upon orgasm.

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          • #6
            After spending so much time giving her many orgasms in many different ways I just feel tired, give her a kiss and go to sleep. Now if the guy has intercourse for 5 minutes and then when he finishes and goes to sleep that's another story. I don't think it should matter if they just had great sex and the guy wants to sleep.

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            • #7
              Most guys are already tired and stressed out prior to initiating sex and sex helps them relax and let go.

              The hormones that men and women produce at the time of orgasm can lead to the desire to lay back in the afterglow and the sense of physical peace leads to sleep.

              The ejaculatory release for men and the inherent letting down of bodily tension, makes men physically tired.

              Both men and women tend to hold their breath during sex which leads to oxygen deprivation, resulting in sleepiness.

              After an arduous sexual experience, I do try to cuddle and hold my wife close for a bit, but I often need to lay back and fall asleep.
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              • #8
                Oh, I am completely aware of why guys fall asleep after sex. What I was trying to explain is the female perspective on why this sometimes bothers us females. It seems to confuse men, that's why I brought it up.

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                • #9
                  I had a girl once who loved falling asleep after sex. She didn't expect much pillow talk either. It was heaven.

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                  • #10
                    I get the sleep thing but for me, after blowing a huge load, I would get really hungry.............guess all that physical exertion caused by great sex made me hungry as a bear.
                    It's a tough job being good looking and hung :-)

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MrBigDick View Post
                      I get the sleep thing but for me, after blowing a huge load, I would get really hungry.............guess all that physical exertion caused by great sex made me hungry as a bear.
                      Same here, but it really depends on the time of day. There have been times when we've had marathons from 10 PM to 1 PM, pouring in sweat and breathing like we need an O2 tank, but fully alert and wide awake. Those make for long days the next day bu I don't care
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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by GTO View Post
                        Same here, but it really depends on the time of day. There have been times when we've had marathons from 10 PM to 1 PM, pouring in sweat and breathing like we need an O2 tank, but fully alert and wide awake. Those make for long days the next day bu I don't care
                        Right on to both of you. I am 50/50 on falling asleep. I am a hugger though when I sleep so I know I always fall asleep holding her anyways. Half the time she wakes up and tells me that my arm is crushing her, oops.
                        Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

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                        • #13
                          As long as she gets me a bowl of ice cream with sprinkles I don't mind if she falls asleep.
                          The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Batwoman View Post
                            This topic came up on another thread, and seems to me like it deserves a thread of its own.

                            Question: Why do women sometimes resent it when a guy falls a sleep right after sex?

                            I think a woman's reaction to his turning over and starting to snore totally depends on the relationship, and whether she feels like the sex was an act of mutual emotional connection (as well as physical pleasure) or just rutting.


                            If the relationship is strong and a lady feels well-loved (in an emotional sense) -- and feels like the sex had a passionate, emotional component from the man -- then his falling asleep after a great bout of sex is not a big deal, it can even be a compliement.


                            However, if she feels like the sex was mechanical -- like he was in it mostly for the orgasm, and she could just as well as been the maid or the cleaning lady as far as he was concerned (i.e., little emotional connection as part of the sex) -- well then she is going to feel even more cut off from him emotionally if he cums and then falls right to sleep.


                            Sometimes the extent to which men withdraw into themselves and seem to go somewhere else while fucking/approaching orgasm can be a bit spooky to a woman. If she is feeling insecure at all about how the guy feels about her, it can be isolating. The cuddling afterwards can be emotionally important to women so that she feels like he wanted and was making love to her as an individual -- not just having sex with any available female.


                            I know this may sound strange since I think most guys will say "but of course I was having sex with her -- it was her, for god's sake!" but you may not realize how distant you can seem in the heat of sex, especially when you get close to cumming.
                            Well said

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ravenously View Post
                              Great Thread.

                              One thing that think it is important for women to understand, after sex we men are often quite tired from the physical act, and also from the release of prolactin that occurs after male orgasm. I understand that women want to feel that emtional connection and post-cotius glow, hell I love too. But, sometime we are so exhausted that we really have little to no control over our wakefullness. I like to try and hold a woman I am in a relationship/care about, after sex to let her know I care. But, I can't guaranty that I 'll remain concious.
                              I can't speak for all women but I know if afterwards a guy "cuddles" on me and falls asleep that's so much better then rolling over and falling asleep.

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