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Please help, very bad PE problem with my BF...

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  • Please help, very bad PE problem with my BF...

    I really dont know what to do anymore.

    From about 3 months into the relationship he had problems with premature ejaculation, before hand he was able to last a few minutes and satisfy me, (He was an inexperienced guy I wasnt expecting hours).

    Literally 10 seconds is now his average.

    At the time he was blaming his aunt being home, or saying things like "Its cause youre so beautifull" which is ya know, a sweet thought but im not daft...

    Here we are almost 2 years together, we have our own place, still this problem persists. Some days its better, he can hold out a little longer. But 99% of the time he'll be done long before I am. He spends a lot of time on foreplay most of the time, but sometimes it's not enough, I just want to feel close and be physical with him, like in a normal relationship...

    Most of the time i keep my cool, and tell him it's okay and it doesnt really matter, and try and support him. But of course it does matter, it's gotten to a point now where after he finishes early its a total turn off for me, he cant finish me off by hand and sometimes I just feel like crying and I want to get away from him. We've gone through long dry periods because of it, I know it doesn't help but I feel so used, I feel like he isn't really doing what he can to get over this... I ask him if he can think of any reasons why it might be happening, (Its unusual that this started 3 months into the relationship right??) if theres anything I can do to help, if we can read through some books together, but no, he has no idea.

    I feel that no matter how much he says its not his fault he cant help it, he MUST want it on some level, if he speeds up before coming.

    He promises he'll go to the doctors about it, but I know he wont.

    He says he practices his kegels but I know he doesn't really stick to it, he just drops back into his same old bad habits, same with the stop/start routine, he tried it once, the results where just as disastrous.. Sometimes he says he doesnt even notice when he comes, which i find hard to believe tbh...

    After such a long time its really starting to affect other areas of our relationship..

    Edit: Also, if i use my hands/mouth to satisfy him he lasts a "normal" length of time.
    BC123
    Junior Member
    Last edited by BC123; 09-08-2012, 08:45 AM.

  • #2
    How often do you have sex? And how do you react when he comes? If you show him you love it, maby he won`t be tense, if that is the problem. Have you tried letting him have an orgasm during foreplay? That may also help him relax!

    Let him know and feel it is ok. Show him you like making him cum and that it isn`t a big deal. Premature ejaculation often has to do with how tense the guy is. Make him feel relaxed and comfortable with himself and his orgasms, that they are not something to be guilty about!

    Comment


    • #3
      It totally varies, ive gone through times of doing it every day trying to "desensitize" him but i usually just give up because its all so predictable and amount of sex we've had makes absolutely no difference as far as I can tell.

      I have no problem with him coming when I'm jacking him off or going down on him, I do enjoy it. But I dont enjoy him prematurely ejaculating when it comes down to it.

      There was a day once when I jacked him off 3 times before we had sex, he still came after 10 seconds. I quickly learned that makes no difference.

      I cant really pretend that I like it. There's only so much I can deal with after 2 years!

      Comment


      • #4
        I see this differently. You say he tried keggels but doesnt stick with it. I beleive that it is important to support someone when they are going through what he is going through. I also think it is important for the man to do something to improve or to try and fix a situation if he can.
        There comes a point where he needs to look at ways to fix the problem. If you tell him about this sight and he chooses not to check it out, if he knows there are doctors and he chooses not to go, then there comes a point where it is alright for you to walk away. Cold but true.
        Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

        Comment


        • #5
          Making him feel bad about it or holding back on sex, will most likely only make it worse and make him even more tense about it. Let him know his orgasms are valid and sexy too. You can always make him hard again and continue later!
          Make him cum as part of the foreplay, show him you like it or get off on it! Then let him stimulate you for alittle while or play with eachother untill he is hard again! The best thing you can do is to be into his orgasms and show it!

          Some believe porn may cause pre e, so if you surprise him with a handjob every once in a while, it might help him stay off porn if that is the problem. And try having sex often, on a regular basis!

          Getting in shape, can help in some cases too, and may boost his confidense.

          if he has other issues that mess with his confidense and make him tense, that complicates it of course.
          ThomasJohnThomas
          Senior Member
          Last edited by ThomasJohnThomas; 09-08-2012, 11:01 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            I beleive her frusrations is due to already trying everything she can think of. The man has to face the problem!
            Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

            Comment


            • #7
              I forgot to welcome you to the gym. We have a very good forum for ED and Premature ejacualation. I would encourage him to check the sight out. We have some very knowledgeable ladies here and I am sure they will give some answers as well. I hope you can find some answers for the situation. best of luck.
              Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

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              • #8
                Yes, welcome! And remember, if you can help him relax and be more confident in bed and in general, that might help a lot!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Tell him he had to keep edging and doing those kegals. It well help, but only if he sticks with it. Doing some kegals and edging only works if he sticks with it. Try encouraging him, or offering a reward for doing them. Try not to make the reward too sexual, or he might just cum. relaxing also helps, so making him feel bad about it will only make it worse. If he feels like doing these exercise.s won't do anything, then he won't have a reason to do them. A lot of encouragement on your part would be a boost. Hope that helps.
                  Starting 08/26/2012
                  EL: 7 inches
                  EG: 5.5 inches

                  Current March 2013
                  EL: 7.25 inches
                  EG: 6 inches

                  Goal
                  EL: 8 inches
                  EG: 6.5 inches

                  Ultimate Goal
                  EL:10 inches
                  EG: 7 inches

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    He knows it is an issue, he hasnt really done a damn thing to seek any help. There must be some effort on his part. You may have to tell him that if he doesnt at least try then you may end up walking and before I get attacked by anyone please go back and read the first post. There is a problem, there has been no effort to fix it, now the relationship is suffering. I know I would try to fix it for my wifes sake if I knew a way to do so.
                    Going an inch and 1/2 deeper than before

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You know what, your damn right. He should be the one trying his heart out to fix the problem. It isn't a hard problem to fix. I'm not an expert our anything, but I know her frustration. I used to cum in less than a minute when I first started masturbating. I got tired of being minute man and just started the stop and go method. Now commonly known as edging. Note I could last a good amount of time. You just have to tell him that it is possible with time and practice.
                      Starting 08/26/2012
                      EL: 7 inches
                      EG: 5.5 inches

                      Current March 2013
                      EL: 7.25 inches
                      EG: 6 inches

                      Goal
                      EL: 8 inches
                      EG: 6.5 inches

                      Ultimate Goal
                      EL:10 inches
                      EG: 7 inches

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Well id say you guys should approach it completely differently. Slow things down and put more passion into it

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          This isn't something recent. He's been doing this for two years. It seems like she had poor a lot of effort to try to fix his premature ejaculation. He doesn't seem to ever want to try. I think she has put in enough effort in those two years, now the guy needs to step up.
                          Starting 08/26/2012
                          EL: 7 inches
                          EG: 5.5 inches

                          Current March 2013
                          EL: 7.25 inches
                          EG: 6 inches

                          Goal
                          EL: 8 inches
                          EG: 6.5 inches

                          Ultimate Goal
                          EL:10 inches
                          EG: 7 inches

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            It seems like you guys are assuming way too much after only hearing a little part of one side of the story from a stranger on the internet...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I dont know what they have done sounds like she has tried alot but they need a whole new approach and they need to be on the same page. Next around if he has pe i would try to keep it going keep it heated and passionate and have him go for a second orgasm

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