How much do girls value a guys physical looks?

[ryansambas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ryansambas]

Apparently women don't seem to prioritise physical looks as much as men do, as far as I go the girls I like tend to be good looking but I don't pick them out because of that, it just catches my eye first I guess. If she presents herself well and has great qualities other than her looks I'm interested, if she is just a 'looker' and has no real substance besides that I wouldn't envision a future.

I worry about my looks all the time, particularly my hair and glasses. I know I could get contacts but unfortunately I tend to worry more without glasses because I have mild ptosis (droopy eyelid), I can notice it but I don't think anyone else can or maybe they can (I remember in high school when I didn't wear glasses people were always asking if I was tired so it is visible), surgery to repair that would cost thousands so that isn't an option now. As for my hair, I wish it grew better, I'm not going bald but the way it grows the wind can blow it once and it looks horrible and receding, what I hate as well is even after I spend time trying to make it look presentable, it almost always comes off bad in photos. Theres a picture of my hair lol (just to explain what I mean, how it comes off a lot worse than what it looks like now as im typing this for example).

I always worry about looks whenever I'm in a club or anything just wanting to hook up with a girl or if I'm interested in a girl I know, for example theres a girl I'm sort of interested in now but I always worry about my physical appearance because she is attractive and I think I'm fairly average. I'm in decent shape, about to graduate from university in July and I believe I have good qualities as a person yet I always worry about my face more than anything (except for my teeth, parents paid a lot for orthodontics haha).

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

The shallow side is men into looks and women into money/status.

[someone_like_u Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close someone_like_u]

For me, as long as the guy appears well put together and clean. I'm not drawn/attracted to a certain type guy. The funny thing is, my first impression of my hubby wasn't all that great and decided right then that I wasn't dating him. To my defense, he looked like a slob at the time. What can I say, he grew on me...so anything's possible.

Ryan, I'd say you probably worry about it way more than a female will. I'm sure you appeal to many women so go out and have some fun.

[Nachos87 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Nachos87]

The shallow side is men into looks and women into status (amongh other qualities).

Fixed

[ryansambas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ryansambas]

Another problem I have is I always try to compare myself relatively in looks to girls I'm interested in when it isn't really a fair scale, I think girls most of the time are always more attractive then their partners, they usually try a lot harder to be so as well. I'm lucky in that aspect, all I really need to after waking up is shower, brush my teeth and sort my hair (which like I've said can be annoying haha and I don't even do it to perfect it and spend ages on it, I only sort it to the point where I actually like it lol).

Also not sure whether being called nice is something I like haha, a girl told me that her friends think I'm a 'nice guy', I know it's a complement but I'm just not a fan of 'nice', I think guys see nice as a negative connotation rather than a positive one because we think nice isn't what girls want in a sexual partner. I never try to be a jerk/prick though, I always joke around/tease girls I'm interested in rather than be a complete asshole, I don't think I could be anyway. I suppose it's a good thing that her friends liked me though and the fact she told them about me before I met them because they first said 'So this is Ryan!' in a way that made it sound like I was interesting haha.

[longrodten Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close longrodten]

Sometimes when they say youre nice, it means you make them feel really good so its a great complement.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

If you want a flirt then you need to flirt. If you want a sassy girl then you need to be sassy. If you want a go getter then you need to be a go getter. If you want a social woman then you need to be a social man. You need to go to places that you like to go to. Not follow your crowd. Go where you feel comfortable, fit in, like and the girls that like the same thing will be there. Sure there are opposites attract. FOR SURE. When you are young, especially females, we do go for this. But this is rarely a sustainable situation but honestly at the time you are not thinking of twenty years down the road nor do you even know to think about twenty years down the road.

If you are just looking for your first girlfriend and to have companionship based on what I remember of your self postings I would say you need to go for either way younger or way older. Get your experience and confidence and then in five years or so settle into your age range.

I dont recommend adjusting yourself to what you think they want or are looking for. I recommend finding the one that digs what you have.

It is way too hard, especially for men sorry, to hide who they are for long periods of time lol We will fish it out of you quick!

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

I can only tell you what I know from experience...

Women don't really care about looks. There are ways you can dress and present yourself that's attractive. You don't need the square jaw, the tall V-shaped body of a model. You don't need to have good looks to look good. Dress well, hold yourself with pride and you'll be all set.

Personality goes much, MUCH farther than your physical appearance. From what I know, women care about who you are, rather than what you look like or what you have.

[Brandon85 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Brandon85]

If my girl was looking for a guy equivalent in hotness to her, she wouldn't be with me.

I was a crumby dresser. Not sloppy just not well put together. Looking back, even my haircut sucked.

Our first date was terrible as I was talking about off putting body functions that women just don't care to hear about. Especially on a first date.

To sum it up, I made the worst first impression possible.

So why is she with me? Well, because I am confident, ambitious and (most importantly) make her laugh. She saw the diamond in the rough with me, picked me out of the dirt, gave me a little encouragement and polished me up to be a gem in her eyes.

And on my side, there are not a whole lot of women that impress me. I meet attractive women everyday. I am so numb to their flirting that I have become oblivious.

What caught my attention with my girl is that she is confident, ambitious and makes me laugh. Her being as hot or hotter than Olivia Wild (or Megan Fox) is a great bonus.

I know it sounds so cliche but you will find a girl you just so get along with when you least expect it. Just be open to it and let things happen. Trying to 'find' a girl to be with is like shopping in Black Friday. Yeah, you got a 50" tv for $300 but it was made in a 4th world country and will start a fire when plugged in. Sometimes, it just isn't worth it.

[ryansambas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ryansambas]

Well at times I don't know what I want to be honest however I don't necessarily want a relationship just because a lot of other people my age are in one and I know there are people like that who feel that sort of pressure, I think being single is pretty much no nonsense and no worries (within this area anyway), if all the worries, stress and other bad things are worth it in the person you are in a relationship with then it is better than being single, at least that's my logic anyway.

I don't meet enough girls though, I've only asked out two girls and when I think about it that makes sense considering since I've left high school (about 3 years ago now), I haven't met too many new women. I don't project confidence at the right times, I think with one of those girls I was confident 99% of the time but when I needed to be confident in the 1% (asking her out) I had virtually none and it would have showed possibly.

I do work out, I used to have no confidence (early to mid teens) from being fat but I can't use that excuse now, some people call me skinny nowadays lol. Although other people view me as quite well built as I have gained a few pounds of muscle this year. Still can't project confidence too well from it, I have a great smile which apparently is what a lot of people like seeing from a person yet I can't even project confidence from that! I can never bring myself to say hello or introduce myself to someone I don't know male or female, obviously I don't give a crap about introducing myself to blokes I don't know because I already have friends but obviously I want to be better with women, I know I can converse with women and that I have a good personality.

I dress well, at least in my opinion, I don't think I can use that as an excuse either haha.

I think at the end of the day I just need to talk to more girls, I think from a numbers perspective if I talk to a lot of girls, I can have some sort of success.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

making girls laugh is a big one. it... turns them on. thats a good point.

[Nachos87 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Nachos87]

I can only tell you what I know from experience...

Women don't really care about looks. There are ways you can dress and present yourself that's attractive. You don't need the square jaw, the tall V-shaped body of a model. You don't need to have good looks to look good. Dress well, hold yourself with pride and you'll be all set.

Personality goes much, MUCH farther than your physical appearance. From what I know, women care about who you are, rather than what you look like or what you have.

This is a common misconception, especially in PUA community. From my personal experience, I found complete opposite to be true.
By looks, I mean having enough muscles, nice figure, being tall enough, having symmetrical facial features. I'll skip style, grooming, hygiene, tan and similar for now.

What does looks represent? Good genetic material first and foremost. She got someone who can protect her, someone competent. She got someone who can provide food (a hunter), this was passed to us by our ancestors and is obsolete now, but it is still there. Good health for her kids...
God knows how many times a girl said she feels safe and comfortable in my presence, which is so important.

I could rate myself with a modest 8 because I know what I can achieve (what a 10 is). I look a girl (which is passing me on the street) in the eyes, smirk and 75% of them smile/giggle back, while some of them actually say "Hi" to me, stop me and start the conversation with "Do I know you?". While other 25% got a boyfriend walking next to them (not that half of those who smiled back didn't have a boyfriend standing next to them).

I work at a student home (or how it's called) taking pictures of students for some card. My god, the flirting. All those young juicy... ahem... anyways, if we had some privacy, time and freedom on our hands, I could turn over at least 40 of them (I'm choosy) in the 3 months I worked there. But it's not really easy when you're in the crowd of 20-30 other students where it's obvious whats going on and when I can actually get fired. So eventually I had to be satisfied with ~20 carefully chosen numbers => 12 dates => 8 lays. And believe me when I say this: when I smiled and tried to start some small talk (while taking a picture), I can't say that every and each one of them, but 90% of them smiled or laughed, were ecstatic to be talking with me, with all the flirty body gestures that go with it.

I understand that this includes charisma and that the two are hard to pull apart and see which one is the cause of attraction, but by my experience, looks is the reason because I can see what happens right before i utter a word: They approach me, they check me out, they send me signs, they flirt from the distance.

[ryansambas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ryansambas]

If we're going by the most suitable mate theory and pre-historic, I still think I fare pretty well. 5'11, 185lbs (lean, not overweight), great teeth, can grow a decent beard but I normally just like to keep stubble, only negative is I wear glasses. At my best I think considering everything I'm a 7, maybe 7.5 at my absolute best but I can range anywhere from 6.5 to 7.5 I guess. I know I'm not 'ugly', I don't have any noticeable problems or foul odors and when I meet people for the first time I can't say I've had many, if any bad experiences, normally can have a good conversation with anyone male or female.

Just remembered before I did this thread, not even sure why I'm asking this. The first girl I asked out is in a relationship with a guy who without sounding egotistical is not near me physically, probably around 5'5 (only 1-2 inches taller than her) and I'd say around 130-135lbs (skin and bone basically), I think I have a better face as well personally, again I think I fucked up to confidence and insecurity issues whereas he didn't let that show when he asked her out (I'm assuming). Some one told me the other day guys who know they aren't too good (on paper) have nothing to lose so they can go all out and not give a fuck which can attract women, not sure whether to believe that or not but it would explain why you see some pretty bad looking guys with good looking girls.

[MovingUp Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MovingUp]

completely agree with nacho, i wonder if all the pua guys spouting how little looks matter really think that, or if they just downplay it because they don't want to discourage people ... it's such bullspit ... yes with confidence, charisma, personality, you can gain points, but you still dont get the points of attractiveness, and theyd drop you for the better looking guy with all those qualities in a heartbeat usually .. like do people really believe that girls don't care about looks very much? ha one of the biggest lies females have pulled over males ill tell you that

[longrodten Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close longrodten]

completely agree with nacho, i wonder if all the pua guys spouting how little looks matter really think that, or if they just downplay it because they don't want to discourage people ... it's such bullspit ... yes with confidence, charisma, personality, you can gain points, but you still dont get the points of attractiveness, and theyd drop you for the better looking guy with all those qualities in a heartbeat usually .. like do people really believe that girls don't care about looks very much? ha one of the biggest lies females have pulled over males ill tell you that

Some of them dont care fot an attractive guy because they want all the attention. So as long as he can physically and financially do the job all is well.