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  • DESPERATELY need advice from Men and Women.

    Hi,

    I'm new here and something in particular has triggered me to register and begin 'working out'. Basically I am extremely competitive, I truly believe I have a condition, I simply have to be the best and anything less will drive me crazy. My girlfriend is the first, and only person I have had sex with, and she tells me I am amazing (my insecurity makes me doubt here, although I make her orgasm very easily). The thing is though, she is a few years older than me and has slept with a lot more people than me - this bothers me a lot. What bothers me a lot is she has squirted once in her life through penetration, which was 4/5 years ago. I am absolutely desperate to make her squirt during penetration, not for my ego but I am so desperate to be the best for her. This makes me sound like an asshole, I promise I'm not, but the thought of marrying her knowing one person made her squirt (and he fucked her only once) makes me feel so bad. The whole thing has made me feel really ill to be honest. I'm not a guy that uses women to increase ego, I promise I don't want to make her squirt to 'be an alpha male'. I'm just a 19 year old lad who loves his girlfriend loads. The guy who made her squirt was athletic and had a big dick (she says bigger than mine but she doesn't think by much).

    She also squirted once through being fingered and once with her clit being played with, with what she says 'him playing with the entrance', they were the same person (the one through sex was different though). I made her squirt a few weeks ago which surprised her, her first squirt in about 4 years. The thing is though, the way I did it was totally against what guides say. I put three fingers in and pressed hard against the top of her vagina as I stroked it, she said it hurt but she still squirted, the other times it didn't.

    So I've given you guys some background, now I have a few questions;

    - How do you make a girl squirt through penetration
    - I know about the G-Spot, is it important to hit the G-Spot to make her squirt
    - Is a big dick important, I've seen a lot of people say deep fucking is key, but surely this doesn't really help the G-Spot
    - How do you make her squirt playing with the clit and by fingering/any other techniques
    - Any other advise you'd give to somebody who is really inexperienced when it comes to sex it terms of techniques, general info, absolutely anything. I am willing to listen and to learn, I want the tips of people far more experienced than me

    Thank you so much everyone, the whole scenario has been driving me insane (borderline depression) and she is an amazing girl, which makes me feel even worse.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Bobby A View Post
    I am absolutely desperate to make her squirt during penetration, not for my ego but I am so desperate to be the best for her.
    As long as you continue to think like this ^^ you wont make her squirt, let alone be able to fuck her at all. You get your head straight. Everything else follows.
    We are Manchester United... We do what we want!

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    • #3
      Thanks for the response. It isn't for my ego at all mate, I an extremely modest person. The main reason I want to do it is because I love her so much and I want her to feel amazing. If it happens I'm not going to think I am some sex God, I'm not the kind of person who would brag to friends about it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Your original question smacked of pure ego as being competitive requires some form of motivation which requires a large ego.

        In reality, being competitive, the way you described it, reveals sexual inexperience and insecurity. And. That is perfectly okay.

        It would be best to stop thinking about trying to make her squirt and just enjoy fucking her. You and her will find out what makes each of you feel good, what turns her and you on etc.

        I do know though the best way to kill a mood though. By being insecure and constantly worrying about shit that you shouldn't worry about, ie making her squirt. Nothing is more unattractive than an insecure guy to a woman.

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        • #5
          Brandon I know that mate, I know what you say is 100% right but I can't help it. I promise you, and anyone else that sees this, it isn't about the ego at all. Not even 1% I'm just an extremely shy 19 year old looking for advise. To put into perspective my ego, my friends still think I am a virgin. I haven't mentioned intimate details regarding with my girlfriend with them, and I have no intention at all. I'm not fussed on what people think of me.

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          • #6
            I never want a wan to squirt on me. I want no part of that mess
            PE is a lot like sex. First you have to find your technique, rotate your routine, and then plan on it taking a while. Then you will find satisfaction.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Bobby A View Post
              Brandon I know that mate, I know what you say is 100% right but I can't help it. I promise you, and anyone else that sees this, it isn't about the ego at all. Not even 1% I'm just an extremely shy 19 year old looking for advise. To put into perspective my ego, my friends still think I am a virgin. I haven't mentioned intimate details regarding with my girlfriend with them, and I have no intention at all. I'm not fussed on what people think of me.
              This statement is self-contradictory in very many ways. Why cant you help it? What do you think is driving you so bad to make a girl squirt that you "just cant help it"? The perception of a shy 19 year old virgin is what is driving you to "pull it off" so you can prove a point. Whether to this girl or to friends or to yourself. It doesnt really matter to whom. The issue is that you have got it all twisted and set the wrong standard/ideal (squirting) as something to work towards. Doing this only sets you up big time for a crash and burn and can lead to other worse self perception problems like performance anxiety.

              Set the right goals and take it slow. You have no point to prove. Your gal is not ASKING you to make her squirt. Its you believes that you need to make her squirt for some weird reason. Again, go slow. You are 19 years old and just started sex. First explore it in a natural way and you will do all these things later. There are no trophies waiting for you in the bathroom. I am 30 and have had lots of sex with lots of women and NEVER made any squirt. NEVER. And its not a fuckin problem to me whatsoever!

              So just enjoy the ride and learn all these things together with your gal in a pressure free environment.

              Cheers
              We are Manchester United... We do what we want!

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              • #8
                You're right litopita but I still feel devastated when I think of things like 'ill never be the person who made her feel best during sex', because I love her so much and she loves me and I want her to have the best in everything. Man, honestly I don't know why it's such a big deal but it really is, I have never felt so bad in my life. I still want to take all the advise I can though, because I want to be the best for her. Thanks for the reply, you make so much sense and sorry if I sound like a dick.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Bobby A View Post
                  You're right litopita but I still feel devastated when I think of things like 'ill never be the person who made her feel best during sex', because I love her so much and she loves me and I want her to have the best in everything. Man, honestly I don't know why it's such a big deal but it really is, I have never felt so bad in my life. I still want to take all the advise I can though, because I want to be the best for her. Thanks for the reply, you make so much sense and sorry if I sound like a dick.
                  Yeah I know. You love her so much that you feel you need to "reward" her love by doing something for her which can impress her so much that she will never leave you and thus be yours alone and never think of other men because you are the perfect one who can make her happy. In this case now the current fixation is on squirting. Making her squirt will be that thing that will impress her and show that you can also do what the other "big dick" guys did so that she "never leaves you". The truth is that the more you try to impress her the more you are likely to do something that will make her leave you.

                  I know you are young and inexperienced sexually/romantically so most of this stuff is new to you. Its OK. You are just going through a phase most of us went through when we were your age. So smitten with this one special girl that has accepted to be in love with you that you try everything to make/keep her impressed with you. Pedestal syndrome. The truth is that she is already in love with you, man. There is no need to do anything "extra" to make her be "more in love" with you. She is already here. There is nowhere she is going. Off-course you should always learn to improve your sex game as you get more experienced. But dont make something like squirting a target/standard. Because what happens if you try and fail to make her squirt 3 times. Then what? Do you see how it then affects your confidence and creeps into your sexual ability?

                  So don't be desperate to make her squirt. She will squirt later in the near future. And for what its worth, I don't think this is the best place to find tricks on how to squirt a gal. Google search will yeild much better articles and tutorials than here. Just make sure to take it slow and keep a level head. You will be fine.
                  litopita
                  Senior Member
                  Last edited by litopita; 01-18-2013, 01:57 PM.
                  We are Manchester United... We do what we want!

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                  • #10
                    Just my two cents: if your girl told you someone else with an athletic body and a bigger dick made her squirt, she's an asshole. No girl should ever say something like that to her boyfriend if she loves him. Imagine a guy telling a girl something like "I got this wonderful blowjob once from a girl with a gorgeous body. She was slim and had perfect breasts, and the technique she used was out of this world" -> this results in the girl being heart broken and the end of the relationship.

                    So in this sense, I understand what you're going through and you have a reason to feel that way. Even though you seem to be making too big a deal out of it, still, your girl treated you like shit.

                    And just for the record, if you were the one who asked her "have you ever squirted", the right way to answer that question is "yes, once, but it was nothing special".
                    Starting stats 2/1/2013
                    BPEL: 16.0 cm (6.3 inches)
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                    Ultimate goal
                    BPEL: 18.0 cm (7.1 inches)
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                    • #11
                      Litopita - You're wise, and you're right and I know it. I think it bothers me even more than she has been with a fair few people and none made her squirt, but she fucked some guy once and he did it, and it was ages ago. She said he was the best shag ever, but she said stuff like 'he wasnt much bigger than you', 'he wasnt much better than you' etc. As for the asking people on her their tricks to making a girl squirt, I'm just interested to hear what real people did and learn from them. I've looked on google but hearing it from someone older than me, and being able to talk about it, would be better imo. I know every girl is different as well.

                      islander - She was mega reluctant to tell me, so in that aspect it's my fault but I kind of see what you mean, but I made her tell me kinda (I didn't emotionally blackmail her or anything bad like that though)

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        She's your first, she's slept with other guys, and you haven't slept with other girls. This is probably something that is going to "haunt" you for the rest of your life, if you let it. It's a reason one of my ex's let me go, was because I didn't know what other pussy was like. So we took a break and I went out and got my dick wet from other girls. A lot of other girls, until I found out pussy is pussy...

                        Some girls don't squirt at all, some squirt sometimes, and some squirt a lot. Like most of the people here said I wouldn't worry so much about making her squirt, just fuck the shit out of her and make eachother feel good. A girl doesn't have to squirt for her to feel really good, at least I don't think.

                        I wish you the best of luck

                        edit: some stuff I wouldn't even want to know, don't let her know that you're "insecure" about this shit either. Fuck those other guys, who gives a fuck. She's with you now, and for a reason. If her being with other guys is going to bother you, it's probably going to keep bothering you for as long as you let it bother you.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Bobby A View Post
                          - How do you make a girl squirt through penetration
                          - I know about the G-Spot, is it important to hit the G-Spot to make her squirt
                          - Is a big dick important, I've seen a lot of people say deep fucking is key, but surely this doesn't really help the G-Spot
                          - How do you make her squirt playing with the clit and by fingering/any other techniques
                          - Any other advise you'd give to somebody who is really inexperienced when it comes to sex it terms of techniques, general info, absolutely anything. I am willing to listen and to learn, I want the tips of people far more experienced than me
                          Hi Bobby I am not competitive but can understand what you are feeling. Now I am going to tell you get out of your head and get to work. First she is with you not anyone else so she obviously sees something of value in you that is more than just your Dick. There are many ways to make her squirt now that you know she can. Penetration or finger action will get it done as you already know. SO if the finger can do it, you don't need a large dick. As to the how, I will PM a video on how to finger her to a squirt and as to how to do in by penetration google Coital Alignment Technique or CAT and you will get the info you need. None of this will be important if your head is not in the right place about the relationship. After all as you say the other guy made her squirt but guess what she is with you, so that was not a incentive for her to stay with him. Remember that.
                          MrsLooking4more
                          Retired Super Moderator
                          Member of the Month Feb 2013
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                          Last edited by MrsLooking4more; 01-18-2013, 04:13 PM.
                          ​Mrs. L4M
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                          BPEL 6.5 +1.5 ~>8.0 02/2013
                          MEG. 4.7 +1.3 ~>6.0 03/2013

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                          • #14
                            Thanks everyone, so glad I registered here now. I've been beating myself up about this for ages but everyone's feedback has helped incredibly. I can't thank you all enough I am so grateful.

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                            • #15
                              As I just posted in this thread, it's not necessary for a woman to squirt to show she's had a good orgasm. Most women don't squirt. It's not as if women who don't squirt are necessarily having dissatisfying sex.

                              You say you're not attempting this for your own ego but just because you "want to be the best for her"...I strongly suspect this amounts to the same thing. I would just try not to worry about it, if all possible, carry on trying to learn new ways to help her enjoy sex (and to enjoy it yourself, of course) and then if it happens one day, then hey, it's a cool bonus. You should be very wary of making your girlfriend feel that she's under pressure, which is likely if you're putting yourself under pressure to get a certain reaction from her.

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