make her orgasm

**TPW** · 01-02-2015

Hey Jericho

Please keep in mind that just because she has yet to achieve orgasm does not mean that sex with you is not still pleasurable for her. Also, the clitoris is extremely temperamental with each woman having her own preferences - pressure, location, rhythm, etc. - that will aid them in triggering an orgasm.

From what you have written, because she doesn't indulge in solo sex, your gal may have no idea what she wants or needs when it comes to oral or manual stimulation. She seems to have chosen to explore that with you so it is going to be a process of trial and error with her. My recommendation would be to encourage her to engage in masturbation. If she is unwilling to that, ask her to tell you what feels good and what doesn't when you are manually or orally stimulating her and then do so accordingly.

**_Jericho_** · 01-02-2015

Originally Posted by Qandisa

Okay then, get a vibrator and surprise her with it.

This is going to come as a little TMI for some but what the heck...
My first vibrator was one of those rabbit vibes. Loved it. But I found that I didn't really get much out of the insertion aspect of it and it was the lovely little part that vibrated against the clitoris that I really liked, so I started just holding the shaft part in my hand when using it and just letting those vibrations go to work. I tried a few of the little just bullet-type vibrators held against it but they just didn't have the same effect. Now I've got a hitachi-like wand - multiple speeds and vibrations patterns. I will never be without one of those again! It seriously lives on my bedside table and gets used pretty much every day. There are a couple of sellers on amazon that have them at a good price. Get one of those and surprise her with it, turn it on low and use it on her while kissing her or nibbling at her breasts. Turn it up a notch now and then and see what the difference in her reaction is.

By the way until I got a vibrator I had never experienced an actual full-blown orgasm. Lots of little mini almost-orgasms, and I certainly enjoyed sex a LOT, but no full-blown "OMG!" orgasms.

i appreciate your advice. but i've kinda hoped for tricks that can instruct me on how to make her orgasm. is there anything I can do? without electronics?

Originally Posted by The Passionate Wife

Hey Jericho

Please keep in mind that just because she has yet to achieve orgasm does not mean that sex with you is not still pleasurable for her. Also, the clitoris is extremely temperamental with each woman having her own preferences - pressure, location, rhythm, etc. - that will aid them in triggering an orgasm.

From what you have written, because she doesn't indulge in solo sex, your gal may have no idea what she wants or needs when it comes to oral or manual stimulation. She seems to have chosen to explore that with you so it is going to be a process of trial and error with her. My recommendation would be to encourage her to engage in masturbation. If she is unwilling to that, ask her to tell you what feels good and what doesn't when you are manually or orally stimulating her and then do so accordingly.

thank you, i will talk to her about it

.

**alan020** · 01-02-2015

One thing I would like to add to this I don't think it has been mentioned, but due to the fact that she doesn't masturbate she may be self conscious of what may happen when she orgasms.

From what I have read and from my own girl's experience is that most girls feel like they are going to urinate as they approach orgasm, this may be holding her back from releasing and orgasming.

I would think you should talk to her and maybe get her to try and make herself orgasm on her own first and get herself comfortable with the feeling of it, as obviously if she hasn't done it before it will be strange.

Trust me on this one, that once she orgasms once, she will have got over that psychological barrier and it will be much easier for her

Also I definately agree with the previous point, that just because she doesn't orgasm doesn't mean she isn't having the time of her life
Best of luck man

**PanBird** · 01-03-2015

And mutual masturbation, meaning doing it together. Maybe then reach a point of fingering her and it might leaf to something.

Sex is a journey. Don't expect to own it directly. Explore together. One day she'll have orgasm. Do what feels good.

And ask her what she likes.

**mft3891** · 01-09-2015

Hey Jericho, did I read correctly that she stops you at a certain moment when she might be getting close to an orgasm? If that's true, I can't imagine anything else to be more meaningful. It's already been mentioned a bit, but if she's stopping you before orgasm it likely means she's a bit scared to "lose control" and become truly overwhelmed. That's a long-standing and very common psychological issue from her past (that we may all struggle with in different forms).

I could add further if I am reading your post correctly. I've actually been with 3 women that said they've never had an orgasm before me. When they finally did, still to this day it's been the most explosive cataclysmic orgasms I've ever seen. As men, we have a hard time empathizing how much more powerful the female orgasm is. I've seen women in tears afterwards, not of sadness, countless times.

**Kane82** · 01-09-2015

I would have to agree with getting a vibrator man. Maybe she could get off that way, and it would be worth a shot. If it works, then maybe you could move on to vibrating cock ring, and she would get used to orgasming while you are penetrating her. Then maybe you could have a shot through penetration alone. Certainly no guarantee that logic works, but that's how I'd go about it.

**drfrankencock** · 01-09-2015

Hi Jericho. There's a lot of great information here. The idea behind the name of this thread is itself part of the problem. You can't "make" her orgasm. She has to let that happen. And a lot of the advice you have received is relevant to that fact. You may need to approach this less as a sexual technique issue and more as an issue of comfort. I don't know if she has serious issues that prevent her from letting go, but she is clearly not at the point where she can allow herself to completely relax and enjoy the sensations she is experiencing. I wish you the best of luck with this. With time and patience this will probably resolve itself.

**TPW** · 01-10-2015

Sorry but I do not agree with introducing a vibrator/dildo into this relationship without the girlfriend's prior knowledge or consent. Doing so, particularly if she is currently shy or unfamiliar with her sexual body, can have an adverse effect not unlike what some men experience with the introduction of a sex toy. For example, she may become insecure, (wrongly) believing that her sexual ability is lacking or insufficient or not pleasurable enough for him. And that may in turn, shut down her sexual exploration rather than encourage it.

And let's remember that it is HER body so if nothing else, she should have the choice about how she would prefer to have it stimulated, don't you think?

**HealthyMeat** · 01-11-2015

Me personally, When she tries to stop me I wouldn't stop and make her cum. As long as its not one of those "omg stop or I'm crying rape!" Drive her crazy. Tease her when you think she's close. I like to do slow fingering and light licks on the clit when wife is getting close to bring her orgasm in slower, then when she gets close to that PONR I dive right in like the cookie monster. For my previous partners I did the same thing but with intercourse as my wife is the only woman I went down on.

But its your lady and you really got to read her. Have you ever asked her why she tells you to stop? Ask her if you can keep going next time. Talk to her about it, communication is key. What TPW said was perfect, if she never masturbated then she doesn't know her body. She has no clue on what she's feeling. Its up to women to understand their bodies and make themselves cam. Vaginas are all different mystery boxes with question marks all over it. Its one hell of a riddle but when you figure it out...

**HealthyMeat** · 01-11-2015

Originally Posted by Qandisa

Okay this is starting to sound kind of like me. Kind of.

I personally don't really care for too much manual stimulation. A little bit is okay and then after that it just starts feeling... annoying. There's no other word for it, it's just physically irritating. The same often happens with oral, unless the guy has found just the right spot/technique then it'll be enjoyable to a certain point but it's not going to get me off. Although I do have to say that if anything is going to get me to orgasm with the guy it's going to be oral. I don't reach that point through intercourse either, except for once. But I do have to say that, including that one time, the times when I've come closest to orgasm during intercourse have been when it's rough, hard and fast.

What about vibrators, specifically ones on the clitoris? Does she reach orgasm then? For years that was the only way I could.

Hmm I never had an issue making a lady cum through intercourse/penetration. You don't cum even when your on top and your clit rubbing against his body?