Has your sex life become a bit dull? Has your partner gone from “Holy God!” to “That was… nice”? Is she glancing at the clock while you’re inside her? Are you fantasizing about better sex?
If so, it’s no surprise you need a better sex life. Even if things are good, wouldn’t you rather they be amazing?
Scroll down to learn how to have better sex! What are the two most important factors for great sex? What are some tips for better sex? How can you prepare to have the best sex of your life? What can tha gal in your life do to help spice things up in the bedroom? And much more!
Written by Kimberly Wylie
WHAT ARE THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS FOR HAVING BETTER SEX?
Sex ultimately comes down to two aspects – the physical factor and the mental factor. For the physical, it’s about using what you have. Penis size plays a role, but almost all men are packing sufficient tools to get the job done. Remember – you are more than your penis! Knowing what to do with your lips, hands, tongue, and hips is part of what separates decent lovers from great lovers.
The mental factor is equally as important to better sex. Confidence, the willingness to experiment, the ability to read your partner’s movements and desires, communication, and the wish to satisfy your partner as much as you want satisfaction, all play key roles.
Balancing your sexual focus is critical to having the best sex of your life. It’s this mental component of sex that controls your position on the sexual arousal scale – from being aroused to losing control. Learn more about how to balance your sexual focus.
OUR TOP TIPS FOR BETTER SEX
Let’s get to the good stuff – tips you can actually use to improve your sex life. Even if your sex life is good right now, the tips below will help make it phenomenal!
- Master foreplay — One of the easiest ways to become known as a better lover is to truly master foreplay. Don’t treat foreplay as the stuff you have to get through to get to the good stuff. Instead, give foreplay as much time and attention you do actual sex. Remember, foreplay is your friend. You may be raring to go, but that doesn’t mean your partner is. Focus on her needs, and you can bet she’ll repay you in kind and be even more eager the next time.
- Making out isn’t just for teenagers — Remember when having sex wasn’t a sure thing? Remember spending hours kissing and teasing your partner in the hopes it would lead to sex? Relive those days. Make your partner so hot and bothered they’re begging you to take their clothes off and enjoy the fireworks!
- Become a student — If you and your partner have been together for while, chances are you both think you know what works for the other person. Even though what you do ultimately works in the end, it doesn’t mean there aren’t things you could be doing better. Learn all over again what your partner likes. Talk about things you’d like them to do more often and try them.
- 50 shades of… well, maybe not gray — Even if your partner isn’t thrilled at the idea of being totally in your control, little things, like a blindfold, can add heat in the bedroom.
- New places — If you always have sex in bed, in the bedroom, you’re in a rut. Try the shower, the living room couch, the dining room table, etc.. If you’re adventurous – take a hike into a secluded wilderness spot. Just make sure you’re not going to get caught!
- New positions — Although most couples have a few “go to” positions, mix it up! There are lots of resources, especially on the Internet, that can give you ideas about new positions to try. Make it a challenge, for you and your partner to both find a new position to try and see whose is best when you try them.
- Pillows & Missionary — There’s a reason why missionary is a popular sex position. It works for a lot of couples. Next time, place a pillow or two under your gal’s backside to raise her hips up off the bed. You’ll enter her at a deeper angle and she’ll have a more intense orgasm. A pillow under her backside will also give you increased range of motion during oral sex.
- Toys aren’t just for kids — There are so many choices from a feather to tease, to a cock ring to make you super-hard, to vibrators to send you and your partner to dizzying heights. Best thing – you no longer have to go into a “sex store” to shop! You can buy online, from the privacy of your home.
- Show her how much you desire her — If you want to really spice things up, don’t wait until you’re between the sheets to kiss and touch her. Grab her in the kitchen, while she’s making dinner and kiss her until she’s breathless. Come up behind her, wrap your arms around her and nibble on her ear, while you tell her how much you want her. Make her feel desired throughout the day, not just in the bedroom.
- Women are different — Men need to have sex to feel close. Women, on the other hand, need to feel close in order to want sex. Use this knowledge to your advantage! Share things with your partner and open up to them. Yeah, it may feel awkward, but as she feels closer to you, you can bet you’ll see her libido increase.
- Take it slow — Slow down everything you do and really relish every sensation. Savor sex; don’t just rush to the finish line.
- Stay in control — If you feel like you’re nearing orgasm and aren’t quite ready for the fun to end, change it up. Stop what you’re doing and transition to something else. You can even switch to oral sex, until you’ve regained control.
HOW CAN I PREPARE TO HAVE THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE?
It’s not always fun, but preparation is the key to performance. Just like training for a marathon, the grooming and prep aren’t instantaneously rewarding, but they are so worthwhile! The effort you put into the following tips will be directly related to the rewards you receive in your sex life.
When you look good, you feel good and exercise is key to looking your best.
- More Stamina – Regular exercise gives you more energy and improves your cardio health, which means more stamina in the sack.
- Burn Fat = Bigger Penis – By burning fat, you’ll actually have a larger, usable penis as the fat pad on your pelvis shrinks.
- More Flexibility – Exercise also tones your muscles and increases your flexibility, giving you the strength and flexibility you need to try those porn star moves.
- Feel Good Hormones – Regular exercise also produces endorphins, the feel good hormones that improve your mood, which improves your libido.
- Outside of the Bedroom – Exercise also gives you opportunities to have fun with your partner outside of the bedroom, allowing you to build your relationship, which will improve your sex life.
We’ve all heard it – you are what you eat. There are foods that have been shown to improve your sex life. These include:
Of course, there are some foods you should stay away from if you want to maximize your sex life. Excessive alcohol, as mentioned above, can leave you non-functioning, or worse – passed out. Fried foods are usually too heavy and can zap your libido. And, onions and garlic may turn your partner off.
Exercise Your Junk So You Don’t Have to Fake the Funk:
Penis exercises not only give you a larger penis, allowing to get into more positions, more effectively, but can also help with stamina, give you harder erections, and general overall improved penis health. These exercises include:
- Kegels – Kegels strengthen the skeletal muscles needed for a healthy erection. Kegels have been used to help improve stamina. Strong PC muscles will also improve your erection angle.
- Start and stops – Start and stops are great for improving your stamina. It can teach you to listen to your body and keep in control as you near orgasm.
- Edging – Edging too is a great stamina exercise. As you learn to control your orgasm, you’ll be able to last as long as you and your partner want, to try new things and take your sex life to the next level.
HOW CAN THE LADIES HELP?
No, showing up isn’t always enough. Here are some things you gals can do to help you and her have better sex.
- Private peep show – Drive your guy wild with his own personal peep show. A little, seductive strip tease in the bedroom can set the tone for a super hot night.
- Don’t forget lingerie – Wearing sexy lingerie not only gives him the visual clue you want him, and actually took time preparing to be with him, but will also help make you feel sexy. Even if it doesn’t stay on very long once revealed, it’s again going to set the tone for the night to come.
- Sexting – Send your guy naughty texts throughout the day to let him know how much you’re looking forward to being with him. We’re sure your imagination can take it from here. Don’t forgot to shock him sometimes – surprise is sexy.
- Porn isn’t just for boys – Pizza and porn Fridays may just become your favorite date night. Cuddle up with your guy on the bed, select a movie that looks appealing to both of you (these can range from Showtime soft porn to hardcore to porn with actual plot lines). Of course, don’t expect to watch the entire movie. Chances are he’ll be on you before the end of the opening credits.
- Take your time with oral sex – You know how teasing drives you wild? Well, it’s the same thing for guys. Don’t just immediately go for the blow job, kiss slowly down your partner’s chest, spending time at his other erogenous zones, like his nipples and the lower belly between his belly button and his penis. Look up at him teasingly, as you gently nibble on the inside of his thigh. Remember the Golden Rule – Spend the time on him that you’d want him to spend on you.
- Tie him up – If he’s into it. A lot of guys like to give up control once in awhile. Add a blindfold to the mix and his other senses will be heightened.
- Be Open-Minded – Remember, a guy may not comfortably discuss his kink fantasies with you if he’s nervous about rejection. Let him know you’re open to hearing what floats his boat. Even if you’re not into it, knowing he can discuss it with you will be a turn-on.
THE BETTER SEX HOLY GRAIL
Improving your sex life is probably one of the funnest projects you’ll undertake. For many, the Holy Grail of better sex is multiple orgasms for both partners. Yes, for both the man and the woman! When you can do this simultaneously, you’ll know you’ve really become sexperts! Check out our Male Enhancement article, to learn more about how to reach this goal.