Who doesn’t want to have the ultimate sexual stamina and last longer in bed? Most men have issues in at least one of the areas below. Focus on the one(s) you feel is most important to you (e.g.: relaxation, masturbation habits, etc.).
Read on to learn everything you need to know about increasing your sexual stamina. How do I last longer in bed? What can I do to make sex last as long as I want? What products or exercises will really increase my sexual stamina?
Written by Kimberly Wylie
OK, you’re probably thinking the answer to that question is pretty obvious. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that more time clocked between the sheets equals better sex. It doesn’t. The desire to increase your sexual stamina isn’t about racking up the hours — it’s about having the control to make sex last as long as you and your partner want it to last. Sometimes a five-minute quickie is just as desirable as a marathon sex session. The point is:
With sexual stamina, the choice is yours!
Once you have that control, your entire sex life can change. You can try new things, knowing if they don’t quite work for your partner, you can do something else, because you’re going to be totally in control. You’re also going to avoid the negative qualities associated with lack of control – embarrassment, shame, anxiety, etc.
Your erection doesn’t begin with your penis, it actually begins in your brain! Stimulation causes the brain to send chemical messages to the nerves in your penis, that allow the blood vessels to relax, so blood can fill the tissues of the penis, causing it to expand. This constricts the veins, so the blood cannot leave the penis, keeping it erect.
On average, men stay erect for 7.3 minutes. That may not seem very long, but if you consider how long women say they prefer to have sex, you can see how this isn’t too far off what women want. In one study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers found the amount of time women preferred for actual intercourse ranged between 3 and 13 minutes. However, whether it’s ego or the natural drive to be better, most men want to last longer and be in complete control of their ejaculation.
There are several techniques you can use to increase your sexual stamina. Stamina issues can be related to psychological components (anxiety, guilt, etc.), physical components or a combination of both. Here are some of the most effective ways you can last longer in bed. Following are the best ways to increase your sexual stamina.
One of the best stamina trainers on the market is the Fleshlight Stamina Trainer. The Fleshlight was specifically designed to help you train yourself to last longer in bed.
Made with patented SuperSkin and featuring pillow-like bumps on the inside, the Fleshlight feels just like the real thing! Plus, the case is designed to look like a flashlight, so no one will be the wiser, should they see it!
With the Fleshlight, you’ll:
When learning how to increase sexual stamina, it’s important to just relax and breathe. Staying relaxed is one of the best ways to remain in control during sex. Breathing exercises can help you keep your arousal level under control. When you’re stressed, the urge to fight-or-flight takes over. This is your sympathetic nervous system taking control of your body and leads to ejaculation. Instead, through meditative, breathing exercises, you can keep your body in the sympathetic mode — the relaxed, controlled mode. Breathing exercises will also help you last longer in bed by keeping your focus on breathing, distracting you from the physical, sexual stimuli your body is feeling.
Semi-deep breathing is more effective than deep breathing. Semi-deep breathing will allow you to be relaxed and in control. Deep breathing can become too relaxing, allowing you to lose your focus on the breathing, which can result in loss of control of your arousal level. If you can, take a class on meditation. It’ll not only help you in the sack, but in other areas of your life as well.
Try Triangle Breathing:
Sexual health for men includes even the chemical composition of your brain. Serotonin is the calming hormone your body releases. Remaining calm and relaxed, as we’ve noted is key to maintaining control during sex. There are natural ways to increase your serotonin levels, as well as supplements that can be taken. These include:
Oftentimes, problems with sexual stamina stem from, or are at least complicated by, lack of confidence. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You doubt your abilities between the sheets, and that raises your anxiety, which makes you ejaculate sooner than you wanted to (thanks to that fight-or-flight response), which then feeds into your self-doubt even more.
No matter what you feel is the catalyst for your sexual stamina challenges,
Be confident in yourself and your abilities!
Have faith that you can last longer in bed! Believe in your ability to satisfy your lover! Know you can overcome these stamina obstacles! The right mindset is half the battle. And, even when things don’t go as planned, don’t dwell on it. Know that sometimes you have to take a step backward to move two steps forward in life.
Along with believing in yourself, your general mindset can also affect how long you last in bed. Stop over-thinking the situation. Sex isn’t rocket science. Focus on sensuality of the situation, not the sexuality. Stop thinking and start perceiving. Although you’ll be receiving a lot of pleasure, pay attention to the sensation of giving that pleasure to help control your arousal level.
Remember the Little Engine that Could, who succeeded by starting off with, “I think I can. I think I can.” What you focus on becomes your reality. Keep positive. Keep confident.
Most importantly –
Don’t treat sex like an occasion. Instead, treat it like a fun, learning experience. Sex doesn’t have to be perfect to be enjoyable. Use each opportunity as a time to learn something new and do a little bit better.
Your pelvic floor muscles are a key component to ejaculation control. With strong, healthy muscles, you will enjoy harder erections, an increased erection angle and can even become multi-orgasmic! This, plus the myriad of other health benefits, are why Kegels should be a part of every man’s penis exercise routine. Check out our Kegel Exercises for Men article for more details on Kegeling!
However, although strong pelvic floor muscles are needed for a great sex life, overactive pelvic floor muscles are one of the leading causes of stamina issues. Relax your pelvic floor muscles during sex, keeping your body in the parasympathetic mode and in control. Unintentional contractions can lead to unintentional ejaculation.
To Kegel to stop ejaculation, try the following:
This is a very difficult technique to master. Plus, your body is unique, so adjust the time frames accordingly.
Masturbation can either help you increase your sexual stamina or be part of your stamina problem. Too many times guys masturbate with the goal of orgasming as quickly as possible. This can train your ejaculatory reflex to ejaculate too quickly, when it comes time for sex with your partner. If you want to last longer in bed, you need to practice good masturbation habits. Following are tips to ensure you’re practicing good masturbation habits that will help, not hinder, your performance in the bedroom.
If it’s been days, or even weeks, since the last time you orgasmed, your body is going to be raring to go at the slightest sexual stimulation. There’s truth in the scene where Ben Stiller’s character is told to masturbate before going out on his date with Cameron Diaz, in Something About Mary. A preventative masturbation session before date night can help you keep control later in the evening, when you’re with your partner. However, remember, in addition to cleaning up after you’re done…
Always use good masturbation habits, as outlined above!
No matter what issue is negatively affecting your sexual stamina, the key here is to teach your body (and your mind) to relax. Focus on that – remaining calm. Again, when we’re stressed, our body goes into fight-or-flight mode (sympathetic mode), which will lead to ejaculation. Keep calm and stay in the parasympathetic mode, so you can keep control of your arousal. Remember:
REMEMBER: Stay calm. Be confident. Keep a clear mind.
As we discussed earlier, there is no magic number when it comes to how long you should last. Instead, it more about how long you and your partner want you to last. By focusing on pleasuring your partner and making her orgasm first, it takes a lot of pressure off of yourself. You have other ways to please her, outside of straight intercourse. Make her orgasm with oral sex or manual stimulation (perhaps multiple times!), and she won’t mind you’re not marathon man between the sheets.
Here are a few tips:
Following are more techniques to help you last longer in bed.
Lasting longer at sex is a common desire for many men. You’re not alone. More importantly, there are things you can do to improve your sexual stamina! Whatever technique that addresses your issue best, remember — stay calm and relaxed. Have confidence in your abilities. Keep clear minded. These will keep your body in the parasympathetic mode and your arousal under control, until you’re ready to orgasm.
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