How to keep women interested in you?

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Im sorry if I annoy you already, I know Im probably the most frequent thread starter in the relationship and woman perspective sections ... but I have to ask you this question because Im really curious about the answer and I think this is the best place to ask it , since many of you have so much experience with relationships , dating etc...

Im not gonna be exact, Im gonna ask it in a very general way:
How do you keep women interested in you? If you know several women who are attractive but you want to get to know them better so you know their personalities and how they are like. If these women OR some of these women like you, how long its gonna last? I mean , for example, there would be one girl who seems to like you and you like her also...but youre still getting to know each other. Normally, if you both like each other, and you both put some effort in, it could end well - in relationship. ... But if you know some other women also who like you also and you like them also, you of course want to get to know those better also, their personality etc...

But that means you wouldnt focus only on one woman , so maybe you would waste your chance to be with her. What Im asking is, IF some woman likes you when you two meet, how long its gonna last??? How much time do you have for exploring personalities of those other women?? Because I know that feeling when you meet a woman you like, but when you get to know her better, that aura of mystery suddenly starts to dissappear and you see more clearly...and I think its not only from mens perspective but also from women perspective...how do you keep women still interested in you even if they get to know you more and more...
...AND if you get in a relationship with one of them...is that a turn off for all other women who thought they have a chance?? If the relationship wouldnt workout and would end, would they still be interested in relationship with you?? Would they still like you as much as before??

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Live in the present, not the future; it's where the gift is!

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

I am married. Lead me not to temptation for it finds me easily enough.

[Deadcat83 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Deadcat83]

For me, it seems like when I don't act interested, intentionally or unintentionally, they always want to be around me. When I show interest, well… let's just say it doesn't work out as well. HA! That's been my experience.

Almost like… you have to show interest in them as a person, and not as someone you want to be with, if that makes sense.

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

For me, it seems like when I don't act interested, intentionally or unintentionally, they always want to be around me. When I show interest, well… let's just say it doesn't work out as well. HA! That's been my experience.

Pretty much the way it is. Happened a lot. That's why I always acted like I didn't care. For whatever reason it attracted them more.

[Thick_Unit Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thick_Unit]

I know when a women is interested me since the first words out of her mouth has to do with sports. and the flow up question is did you play football (or other sport)in high school.

I think it has to do with my build since I look like I played football (or other sport in High school)

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey TNBT,

Wow…there sure are quite a few issues you are addressing here but I will do my best to answer them.

Asking how long someone will remain interested in you is like asking how long will relationships last; no one can answer that with any kind of certainty. Sure, there are things we can do to increase the duration but attraction is a fickle thing; it comes and it goes. And that is not always a bad thing; you certainly don’t want to be pining for someone when they do not feel the same do you?

Now as far being attracted to multiple girls at the same time and having them find you attractive in return – well that, my friend, is what dating and mating is all about. If you are interested in more than one girl, there is no rule that says you cannot date more than one girl at a time. And please note that I said “date” and not “sleep with” as that can lead to all kinds of problems.

Now regarding the stages of a relationship; you are correct. The infatuation stage does indeed wane after time but again that is not a bad thing; it just means you are replacing the red, hot spark with a more consistent, longer-lasting slow burn. Both have their place in the evolution of a relationship otherwise people would never stay together for more than a few months.

When in a relationship, one of the best ways to keep a woman interested in you, is to allow for a little mystery. There is no need to share every single thought, emotion or experience you have with your new partner in order to feel connected as there other plenty of other ways to do that. Be considerate, show her she is important to you yet be unpredictable at times on the little things. Keep her guessing a little and you’ll keep her interest.

Finally, do women get “turned off” after you have entered a relationship with someone else? Well, I wouldn’t say they get turned off but they may lose interest…or they may not. It all depends on the girl and the circumstances. But more importantly, you need to realize that if and when you choose a girl to become your girlfriend, you cannot be concerned about who else you could be missing out with. This will surely keep you from enjoying and being fully present within your current relationship which is often a surefire recipe for disaster and unhappiness. Never worry about the next girl at the cost of the one you are with. Instead have fun, get to know one another, enjoy each other and let the relationship run its course. If it ends, don’t worry, there will always be another…well, until you find “the one” that is.

I hope I answered your concerns.

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Hey TNBT,

Wow…there sure are quite a few issues you are addressing here but I will do my best to answer them.

Asking how long someone will remain interested in you is like asking how long will relationships last; no one can answer that with any kind of certainty. Sure, there are things we can do to increase the duration but attraction is a fickle thing; it comes and it goes. And that is not always a bad thing; you certainly don’t want to be pining for someone when they do not feel the same do you?

Now as far being attracted to multiple girls at the same time and having them find you attractive in return – well that, my friend, is what dating and mating is all about. If you are interested in more than one girl, there is no rule that says you cannot date more than one girl at a time. And please note that I said “date” and not “sleep with” as that can lead to all kinds of problems.

Now regarding the stages of a relationship; you are correct. The infatuation stage does indeed wane after time but again that is not a bad thing; it just means you are replacing the red, hot spark with a more consistent, longer-lasting slow burn. Both have their place in the evolution of a relationship otherwise people would never stay together for more than a few months.

When in a relationship, one of the best ways to keep a woman interested in you, is to allow for a little mystery. There is no need to share every single thought, emotion or experience you have with your new partner in order to feel connected as there other plenty of other ways to do that. Be considerate, show her she is important to you yet be unpredictable at times on the little things. Keep her guessing a little and you’ll keep her interest.

Finally, do women get “turned off” after you have entered a relationship with someone else? Well, I wouldn’t say they get turned off but they may lose interest…or they may not. It all depends on the girl and the circumstances. But more importantly, you need to realize that if and when you choose a girl to become your girlfriend, you cannot be concerned about who else you could be missing out with. This will surely keep you from enjoying and being fully present within your current relationship which is often a surefire recipe for disaster and unhappiness. Never worry about the next girl at the cost of the one you are with. Instead have fun, get to know one another, enjoy each other and let the relationship run its course. If it ends, don’t worry, there will always be another…well, until you find “the one” that is.

I hope I answered your concerns.

That is such a great answer, thank you TPW! Youre are right, I cant be concerned with another girl if I already decide to enter into relationship with one.
But how do you mean it, that I can date with multiple girls but not sleep? Wouldnt that also be considered "cheating"?

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

That is such a great answer, thank you TPW! Youre are right, I cant be concerned with another girl if I already decide to enter into relationship with one.
But how do you mean it, that I can date with multiple girls but not sleep? Wouldnt that also be considered "cheating"?

Hey TNBT,

Dating more than one girl is fine and only considered cheating when you have mutually agreed on exclusivity with someone and then you go out and date someone else.

My advice would be that if you decide to date more than one girl, make sure they are all clear in their understanding that you are not exclusive at this time. I will warn you however, not all women appreciate a guy who is dating mutual women at the same time.

[akaTrex Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close akaTrex]

I will warn you however, not all women appreciate a guy who is dating mutual women at the same time.

Remember the movie "Fatal Attraction"!

[J rod Member Find all posts View Profile Close J rod]

I have the problem of putting women on a pedestal, I'm learning more and more that they are just as flawed as we are. Don't try too hard. Just be yourself at all times, the good and the bad. If she doesnt like you after a while, you two aren't compatible. there is a grand plan for you, you cannot see it because you aren't making this plan.......God or the great spirit of the cosmos or whatever you want to call it is.

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

Hey TNBT,

Dating more than one girl is fine and only considered cheating when you have mutually agreed on exclusivity with someone and then you go out and date someone else.

My advice would be that if you decide to date more than one girl, make sure they are all clear in their understanding that you are not exclusive at this time. I will warn you however, not all women appreciate a guy who is dating mutual women at the same time.

So if I understand correctly, if I like one girl and I go to cinema with her or to restaurant or we hang out in another place...and then other day I hang out with another girl and have good time also with her...is that what you mean?

Should I then tell both of them what am I doing? But I dont know how to say it and if I should even say it. It just looks not right to me, because I may give false chance to the other girl...I really dont know what to do in case like this.

BTW Im speaking just theoretically, Im not dating multiple girls at the moment

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

.... Should I then tell both of them what am I doing? But I dont know how to say it and if I should even say it. It just looks not right to me, because I may give false chance to the other girl...I really dont know what to do in case like this....

If you don't think its right to say it, then it is not right to do it.

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Hey TNBT,

As MrB8 stated, if it makes you uncomfortable to date two or more girls at the same time; then simply don't. I agree that it can be difficult to do for some individuals as they prefer to focus on one potential partner at a time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. Simply do what you are most comfortable doing.